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freakykatIt's still Sunday SOMEWHERE.
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kari77 - thank you so much, sweetie!
Title: Find Your Way Through Me
Author:freakykat
Rating: NC-17
Chapter: Chapter Thirteen
Pairing: Luke/Noah, some other surprise pairings
Summary: Where there is darkness, find your way through me.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
Beta: Thanks toladysonsie for stepping in and pinch hitting this!
W/C: 2508
Warnings: MAJOR ANGST, some character death, violence
Author’s Note: Thanks for the being patient, guys. It's still Sunday SOMEWHERE. Promise earilier next week!
Story Notes: Found in Chapter One.
All chapters found here.
Chapter Thirteen
“Okay, baby, spill.”
Noah glanced over at Carly, tried to school his features into an innocent expression. “I have no clue what you're talking about.”
Carly snorted, reaching for the honey in the cupboard and pouring a generous amount into Noah's tea. “I always love it when you think you can lie to me.”
“I'm not lying to you.”
“Okay. Fine. I always love it when you feel like you can get one over on me.”
She handed Noah the cup and met his eyes, held them with her probing stare before she smiled wide. “You're going to propose to Luke, aren't you?”
Noah startled, choked, as some of the tea spilled over the rim of his cup onto the counter. Carly laughed as she reached for a towel, cleaning up the mess, and waited out Noah's stammering.
“How – I haven't – seriously, how?”
There were times that Carly felt like the worst mother in the world. She loved her kids – she'd die for any of them without a moment's thought – but her actions had never shown them how much that was true. She knew, being the oldest and in so many ways the most scarred, Noah had a hard time understanding her love.
“I'm your mother. I know you, Noah Benjamin.”
He rolled his eyes but the tiny quirk on his lips made her grin at him.
She stared at him until, finally, he sighed deeply and nodded.
“Yeah. I'm asking him.”
The noise she made was high-pitched and fairly loud. Noah jumped slightly when she combined it with the hug he wasn't expecting. She muffled her laugh in his shirt and rubbed one hand up his back, soothing like she had during his periods of nightmares when he'd first stayed with her.
Pulling back, she grabbed his face, kissing him sloppily on his cheek, not allowing him to move away even when he tried. “I'm so happy for you!”
“I haven't asked him yet. We don't know -”
Carly slapped the back of his head gently, rolled her own eyes this time. “Don't be obtuse, Noah. Please.”
He grinned at her, those beautiful eyes of his shining with love and nerves and all those emotions he worked to keep from everyone but Luke. Or maybe it was just from her. She pushed the thought away and brushed his hair off his face.
“I need to talk to Holden and Lily first.”
She giggled at that, shaking her head as she looked at the wonderful man Noah had become. Whatever part she may have had in making that happen gave her heart a thrill. “Where did you come from, sweetness?”
It was a question she'd asked him for years. Anytime and every time he'd done something to make her proud of him.
Noah shrugged but said nothing. He glanced at her, his eyes crinkling at the corners and she grinned harder.
They stared at each other like that for a long time until Noah glanced away, cleared his throat and asked quietly.
“Will you help me figure out what to do?”
Carly felt the tears sting her eyes and she nodded. “Of course I will, honey.”
Noah hugged her and not for the first time since Noah had fallen into her life, she thanked whatever force had brought him to her.
“You know I always will.”
*
When Carly got the call, she wasn't really surprised by it. Her kids had learned a few things from her in all these years. The knee-jerk reaction of running away, whether that was in a car or at the bottom of a bottle, was something they came to honestly. So, Hank's call at one in the morning wasn't a shock in any way.
She pulled her clothes on, grabbed her jacket and told Neil where she would be. He kissed her softly, asked that she call him if she needed any help and locked the door behind her.
Carly doesn't know what she ever did to deserve him but she's grateful that he's hers.
On the drive to the bar she started to formulate her plan of attack, the different variations she might need because if she knew one thing it was that this wasn't going to be easy.
Yo's is pretty deserted on a Wednesday night (or Thursday morning, more like it) and she found Noah’s slumped figure at a table in the back. She waved at Hank as she made her way there, mouthed a “thank you” before sliding into the booth next to her son. She knew that he was aware she was there, that he was ignoring her in the hopes that she'd go away.
It was cute he thought that would work.
Hank brought her a glass of tonic water, smiled in that way one parent did to another and left them alone.
They sat in silence for close to thirty minutes before Noah turned his head to look at her, eyes narrowed.
“Go home, Carly.”
She gave him a bright smile. “Not happening unless you come with me.”
Noah closed his eyes. “I'm not in the mood. Really.”
“Oh, right. Because I love being woken up in the middle of the night to come and pick up one of my kids from a drunken stupor. I'm always in the mood for that.”
Noah glared at her. “You should be used to drunk stupors.”
Carly blinked and snorted, shaking her head. “Ouch. Direct hit, sweetie.” It hurt a lot more than she would let him know. She knew Noah held a lot in all these years and when he was cornered, he could be ruthless.
Another thing he learned from her, she thought.
She saw his face lose its color when he realized what he'd said, eyes closing against that and she touched his head, stroking the damp strands away from his forehead.
“Carly, please. Go home.”
It would probably be better to leave him alone, to let him get this out of his system. She knew Noah better than he realized. He'd drink until he could barely stand then he would call a cab, stumble home, let the grief wash over him until sleep took over. In the morning, he'd wake up and most of it would be gone. Whatever wasn't, he'd shove back into that little box he kept reined.
In the end, he'd be okay. Like he always was.
But Carly wasn't sure that being okay, just okay, was good enough anymore.
“I go when you go.”
Noah sighed, thumped his head on the table and for the first time in years, he actually cursed in her presence. It made Carly smile softly. Good. He wasn't too far gone that she couldn't reach him. She rubbed one hand in circles on his back and listened to his breathing as he fought tears she knew he wanted to let go of.
“It's okay, baby.”
He turned his head to the side, still leaning on the table and she watched the streak of tears down his cheeks.
“Mama.”
Her heart broke at the well of pain she could see in his eyes. It had been nearly a decade since he'd called her that and all she could do was gather him in her arms and let him cling to her, soothing the wounds she could. The rest she'd have to let someone else take care of.
“I let it happen.”
“Noah. No. Sweetie. No.”
She knew that he wouldn't listen. Not to her at least.
Rubbing one hand over his head, she pushed gently at his shoulders and when he moved away, she stood. Holding out her hand, she pulled him up and out of the booth.
“It's time we got you home.”
He didn't protest, just leaned against her as she walked him out, waved at Hank for help as they weaved their way unsteadily to the door. When they had Noah secured inside her car, she thanked Hank and waited until he was out of sight before pulling out her phone.
“Hey, it's Carly.”
She swallowed the worry that what she was about to do could blow up in her face but, in the end, she followed that instinct she had when it came to Noah.
This was the right thing to do.
“Noah needs you.”
*
It's too early for him to get any chores done but Holden doesn't know what else he can do. He's restless, sad and just plain scared.
He loved this town but sometimes it's felt like a curse to be a part of it. Nothing could ever be simple. Happiness was fleeting and when you thought that maybe, just maybe, it's going to be okay, the rug was pulled out from under you. It's like Oakdale was a festering wound that never healed.
He took a sip from the coffee in his hand, making a face at the bitter aftertaste, and glanced up at the moon. He wished he could leave. Take his entire brood with him and move somewhere else. Iowa, maybe. They could start fresh, leave the blood and pain behind.
It was a gut reaction to Vienna's death but he contemplated it for several minutes. He didn't know how he'd convince his kids to leave but he thought it wasn't impossible. A sad smile quirked at his lips as he thought that they'd have to sedate Noah to get him away from there but it might be worth it.
“That's a very strange expression to have at this time in the morning, Holden Snyder.”
He doesn't even startle at Lucinda's voice.
The woman had stopped scaring him a decade ago.
When he meets her eyes she has the same contemplative, worried look he is pretty sure is on his face.
“Planning the great escape?”
He smiled, snorted into his cup as he turned to gaze out over the dark fields, the shadow of the barn. “I hate it when you do that.”
Lucinda chuckled, taking the seat next to his on the swing and following his line of sight. “This is your home.”
He nodded. “I know that.”
She watched his profile and Holden figured she found whatever she was looking for when she nodded, glancing away after several long moments.
“I do not have the slightest idea what has happened, darling, but I do not like it.”
He looked over at her, an expression on her face he rarely saw from Lucinda Walsh: fear. It tugged at his heart and he slid closer to her, his arm coming around her shoulder. “Believe me, Lucinda, I feel the same way.”
“I think we all do.”
They both turned their heads to see Emma stepping through the back door onto the porch, holding her own coffee.
No one would be sleeping it seemed.
“I just don't know what to do.” Emma's voice cracked and Holden stood to hug her.
“There's nothing you have to do, Mama.”
“Poor Vienna.”
He squeezed her harder and turned to look at Lucinda's face, strained with grief.
“I cannot imagine what Henry is going through right now.”
They could. He knew his mother could. Meg's death was still too new and now – this.
He heard his mother repeat quietly, “I wish there was something I could do.”
Holden nodded.
But there wasn't. Not really.
They needed to let the police handle everything.
“Noah will get to the bottom of things.”
He glanced at Lucinda, then his mother, before taking a deep breath, letting it out with a ragged edge. “Yes. He will. But at what cost?”
All Holden could remember was that stretch of time where Noah was so lost, none of them could reach him, and the only person that could have wasn't able to. All the months where he was so focused on revenge, on payback, that the Noah he knew hadn't been there.
“He won't stop until he finds the bastard, “ Lucinda said quietly.
Holden nodded because that was the truth.
Noah wouldn't give up.
And this time was different, this time he wouldn't have to do it alone.
He just hoped that Noah knew that. That he would ask for what he needed, what he wanted.
*
Luke knocked hard, rapidly on the door, until it opened and Carly's worried face came into view. She pulled him in quickly, hugged him hard for a long moment and then let him go just as fast.
“Where is he?”
“In the bedroom.”
He started toward the hall then stopped suddenly, turning to address Carly.
“Does he know you called?”
Carly looked almost sheepish before shaking her head. “Not really, no.”
Luke closed his eyes. “Carly.”
“Okay, Luke, come on. You know how my kid is. Stubborn doesn't even begin to cover it. He blames himself. Like he always does. And I know. I know that won't stop him from finding whoever killed Vienna. He won't stop until he does.”
It hurt him to hear the desperate note in Carly's voice, like she was reliving a nightmare again, which he knew was the truth. He just hadn't been around to hear it last time.
“But he doesn't have to lose himself. And you. Sweetheart, you're the only one who can keep him grounded.”
“Carly, you know he won't let me.”
She snorted, rolled her eyes, hand on her hips and it was so familiar that Luke smiled despite wanting to actually cry.
“Like that's every stopped you before, Luke.” She closed the distance between them, searching his eyes. “He needs you. He's always needed you. Don't let him push this time. Fight him. Make him understand.”
Luke nodded, straightened his shoulders and glanced at the closed bedroom door.
“I will.”
Carly sighed with relief, kissed his cheeks, picked up her coat and purse before turning back to look at him. “Tell him exactly what he doesn't want to hear. Because regardless of what he says, he needs to know.”
Luke watched her leave, listened for the snick of the door as it locked automatically behind her before glaring at the bedroom again. He couldn't even enjoy being back home. In the apartment he shared with the love of his life because in the next few minutes that said love was going to make him fight to stay.
He strode to the door, opened it with a flourish and met Noah's wide stare. They blinked at one another and then Luke smiled, wide, watched every emotion flicker across Noah's face before settling on annoyance.
Leaning against the door frame, Luke raised his eyebrow at the look Noah sent him, saying what he'd wanted to say for too long.
“Hey, baby, I'm here.”
-Chapter Fourteen-
♥
banner made by
kari77 - thank you so much, sweetie!Title: Find Your Way Through Me
Author:
freakykatRating: NC-17
Chapter: Chapter Thirteen
Pairing: Luke/Noah, some other surprise pairings
Summary: Where there is darkness, find your way through me.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
Beta: Thanks to
ladysonsie for stepping in and pinch hitting this!W/C: 2508
Warnings: MAJOR ANGST, some character death, violence
Author’s Note: Thanks for the being patient, guys. It's still Sunday SOMEWHERE. Promise earilier next week!
Story Notes: Found in Chapter One.
All chapters found here.
Chapter Thirteen
“Okay, baby, spill.”
Noah glanced over at Carly, tried to school his features into an innocent expression. “I have no clue what you're talking about.”
Carly snorted, reaching for the honey in the cupboard and pouring a generous amount into Noah's tea. “I always love it when you think you can lie to me.”
“I'm not lying to you.”
“Okay. Fine. I always love it when you feel like you can get one over on me.”
She handed Noah the cup and met his eyes, held them with her probing stare before she smiled wide. “You're going to propose to Luke, aren't you?”
Noah startled, choked, as some of the tea spilled over the rim of his cup onto the counter. Carly laughed as she reached for a towel, cleaning up the mess, and waited out Noah's stammering.
“How – I haven't – seriously, how?”
There were times that Carly felt like the worst mother in the world. She loved her kids – she'd die for any of them without a moment's thought – but her actions had never shown them how much that was true. She knew, being the oldest and in so many ways the most scarred, Noah had a hard time understanding her love.
“I'm your mother. I know you, Noah Benjamin.”
He rolled his eyes but the tiny quirk on his lips made her grin at him.
She stared at him until, finally, he sighed deeply and nodded.
“Yeah. I'm asking him.”
The noise she made was high-pitched and fairly loud. Noah jumped slightly when she combined it with the hug he wasn't expecting. She muffled her laugh in his shirt and rubbed one hand up his back, soothing like she had during his periods of nightmares when he'd first stayed with her.
Pulling back, she grabbed his face, kissing him sloppily on his cheek, not allowing him to move away even when he tried. “I'm so happy for you!”
“I haven't asked him yet. We don't know -”
Carly slapped the back of his head gently, rolled her own eyes this time. “Don't be obtuse, Noah. Please.”
He grinned at her, those beautiful eyes of his shining with love and nerves and all those emotions he worked to keep from everyone but Luke. Or maybe it was just from her. She pushed the thought away and brushed his hair off his face.
“I need to talk to Holden and Lily first.”
She giggled at that, shaking her head as she looked at the wonderful man Noah had become. Whatever part she may have had in making that happen gave her heart a thrill. “Where did you come from, sweetness?”
It was a question she'd asked him for years. Anytime and every time he'd done something to make her proud of him.
Noah shrugged but said nothing. He glanced at her, his eyes crinkling at the corners and she grinned harder.
They stared at each other like that for a long time until Noah glanced away, cleared his throat and asked quietly.
“Will you help me figure out what to do?”
Carly felt the tears sting her eyes and she nodded. “Of course I will, honey.”
Noah hugged her and not for the first time since Noah had fallen into her life, she thanked whatever force had brought him to her.
“You know I always will.”
*
When Carly got the call, she wasn't really surprised by it. Her kids had learned a few things from her in all these years. The knee-jerk reaction of running away, whether that was in a car or at the bottom of a bottle, was something they came to honestly. So, Hank's call at one in the morning wasn't a shock in any way.
She pulled her clothes on, grabbed her jacket and told Neil where she would be. He kissed her softly, asked that she call him if she needed any help and locked the door behind her.
Carly doesn't know what she ever did to deserve him but she's grateful that he's hers.
On the drive to the bar she started to formulate her plan of attack, the different variations she might need because if she knew one thing it was that this wasn't going to be easy.
Yo's is pretty deserted on a Wednesday night (or Thursday morning, more like it) and she found Noah’s slumped figure at a table in the back. She waved at Hank as she made her way there, mouthed a “thank you” before sliding into the booth next to her son. She knew that he was aware she was there, that he was ignoring her in the hopes that she'd go away.
It was cute he thought that would work.
Hank brought her a glass of tonic water, smiled in that way one parent did to another and left them alone.
They sat in silence for close to thirty minutes before Noah turned his head to look at her, eyes narrowed.
“Go home, Carly.”
She gave him a bright smile. “Not happening unless you come with me.”
Noah closed his eyes. “I'm not in the mood. Really.”
“Oh, right. Because I love being woken up in the middle of the night to come and pick up one of my kids from a drunken stupor. I'm always in the mood for that.”
Noah glared at her. “You should be used to drunk stupors.”
Carly blinked and snorted, shaking her head. “Ouch. Direct hit, sweetie.” It hurt a lot more than she would let him know. She knew Noah held a lot in all these years and when he was cornered, he could be ruthless.
Another thing he learned from her, she thought.
She saw his face lose its color when he realized what he'd said, eyes closing against that and she touched his head, stroking the damp strands away from his forehead.
“Carly, please. Go home.”
It would probably be better to leave him alone, to let him get this out of his system. She knew Noah better than he realized. He'd drink until he could barely stand then he would call a cab, stumble home, let the grief wash over him until sleep took over. In the morning, he'd wake up and most of it would be gone. Whatever wasn't, he'd shove back into that little box he kept reined.
In the end, he'd be okay. Like he always was.
But Carly wasn't sure that being okay, just okay, was good enough anymore.
“I go when you go.”
Noah sighed, thumped his head on the table and for the first time in years, he actually cursed in her presence. It made Carly smile softly. Good. He wasn't too far gone that she couldn't reach him. She rubbed one hand in circles on his back and listened to his breathing as he fought tears she knew he wanted to let go of.
“It's okay, baby.”
He turned his head to the side, still leaning on the table and she watched the streak of tears down his cheeks.
“Mama.”
Her heart broke at the well of pain she could see in his eyes. It had been nearly a decade since he'd called her that and all she could do was gather him in her arms and let him cling to her, soothing the wounds she could. The rest she'd have to let someone else take care of.
“I let it happen.”
“Noah. No. Sweetie. No.”
She knew that he wouldn't listen. Not to her at least.
Rubbing one hand over his head, she pushed gently at his shoulders and when he moved away, she stood. Holding out her hand, she pulled him up and out of the booth.
“It's time we got you home.”
He didn't protest, just leaned against her as she walked him out, waved at Hank for help as they weaved their way unsteadily to the door. When they had Noah secured inside her car, she thanked Hank and waited until he was out of sight before pulling out her phone.
“Hey, it's Carly.”
She swallowed the worry that what she was about to do could blow up in her face but, in the end, she followed that instinct she had when it came to Noah.
This was the right thing to do.
“Noah needs you.”
*
It's too early for him to get any chores done but Holden doesn't know what else he can do. He's restless, sad and just plain scared.
He loved this town but sometimes it's felt like a curse to be a part of it. Nothing could ever be simple. Happiness was fleeting and when you thought that maybe, just maybe, it's going to be okay, the rug was pulled out from under you. It's like Oakdale was a festering wound that never healed.
He took a sip from the coffee in his hand, making a face at the bitter aftertaste, and glanced up at the moon. He wished he could leave. Take his entire brood with him and move somewhere else. Iowa, maybe. They could start fresh, leave the blood and pain behind.
It was a gut reaction to Vienna's death but he contemplated it for several minutes. He didn't know how he'd convince his kids to leave but he thought it wasn't impossible. A sad smile quirked at his lips as he thought that they'd have to sedate Noah to get him away from there but it might be worth it.
“That's a very strange expression to have at this time in the morning, Holden Snyder.”
He doesn't even startle at Lucinda's voice.
The woman had stopped scaring him a decade ago.
When he meets her eyes she has the same contemplative, worried look he is pretty sure is on his face.
“Planning the great escape?”
He smiled, snorted into his cup as he turned to gaze out over the dark fields, the shadow of the barn. “I hate it when you do that.”
Lucinda chuckled, taking the seat next to his on the swing and following his line of sight. “This is your home.”
He nodded. “I know that.”
She watched his profile and Holden figured she found whatever she was looking for when she nodded, glancing away after several long moments.
“I do not have the slightest idea what has happened, darling, but I do not like it.”
He looked over at her, an expression on her face he rarely saw from Lucinda Walsh: fear. It tugged at his heart and he slid closer to her, his arm coming around her shoulder. “Believe me, Lucinda, I feel the same way.”
“I think we all do.”
They both turned their heads to see Emma stepping through the back door onto the porch, holding her own coffee.
No one would be sleeping it seemed.
“I just don't know what to do.” Emma's voice cracked and Holden stood to hug her.
“There's nothing you have to do, Mama.”
“Poor Vienna.”
He squeezed her harder and turned to look at Lucinda's face, strained with grief.
“I cannot imagine what Henry is going through right now.”
They could. He knew his mother could. Meg's death was still too new and now – this.
He heard his mother repeat quietly, “I wish there was something I could do.”
Holden nodded.
But there wasn't. Not really.
They needed to let the police handle everything.
“Noah will get to the bottom of things.”
He glanced at Lucinda, then his mother, before taking a deep breath, letting it out with a ragged edge. “Yes. He will. But at what cost?”
All Holden could remember was that stretch of time where Noah was so lost, none of them could reach him, and the only person that could have wasn't able to. All the months where he was so focused on revenge, on payback, that the Noah he knew hadn't been there.
“He won't stop until he finds the bastard, “ Lucinda said quietly.
Holden nodded because that was the truth.
Noah wouldn't give up.
And this time was different, this time he wouldn't have to do it alone.
He just hoped that Noah knew that. That he would ask for what he needed, what he wanted.
*
Luke knocked hard, rapidly on the door, until it opened and Carly's worried face came into view. She pulled him in quickly, hugged him hard for a long moment and then let him go just as fast.
“Where is he?”
“In the bedroom.”
He started toward the hall then stopped suddenly, turning to address Carly.
“Does he know you called?”
Carly looked almost sheepish before shaking her head. “Not really, no.”
Luke closed his eyes. “Carly.”
“Okay, Luke, come on. You know how my kid is. Stubborn doesn't even begin to cover it. He blames himself. Like he always does. And I know. I know that won't stop him from finding whoever killed Vienna. He won't stop until he does.”
It hurt him to hear the desperate note in Carly's voice, like she was reliving a nightmare again, which he knew was the truth. He just hadn't been around to hear it last time.
“But he doesn't have to lose himself. And you. Sweetheart, you're the only one who can keep him grounded.”
“Carly, you know he won't let me.”
She snorted, rolled her eyes, hand on her hips and it was so familiar that Luke smiled despite wanting to actually cry.
“Like that's every stopped you before, Luke.” She closed the distance between them, searching his eyes. “He needs you. He's always needed you. Don't let him push this time. Fight him. Make him understand.”
Luke nodded, straightened his shoulders and glanced at the closed bedroom door.
“I will.”
Carly sighed with relief, kissed his cheeks, picked up her coat and purse before turning back to look at him. “Tell him exactly what he doesn't want to hear. Because regardless of what he says, he needs to know.”
Luke watched her leave, listened for the snick of the door as it locked automatically behind her before glaring at the bedroom again. He couldn't even enjoy being back home. In the apartment he shared with the love of his life because in the next few minutes that said love was going to make him fight to stay.
He strode to the door, opened it with a flourish and met Noah's wide stare. They blinked at one another and then Luke smiled, wide, watched every emotion flicker across Noah's face before settling on annoyance.
Leaning against the door frame, Luke raised his eyebrow at the look Noah sent him, saying what he'd wanted to say for too long.
“Hey, baby, I'm here.”
-Chapter Fourteen-
♥
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2010-09-27 07:55 am (UTC)“It's okay, baby.”
He turned his head to the side, still leaning on the table and she watched the streak of tears down his cheeks.
“Mama.”
Her heart broke at the well of pain she could see in his eyes. It had been nearly a decade since he'd called her that and all she could do was gather him in her arms and let him cling to her, soothing the wounds she could. The rest she'd have to let someone else take care of.
*hugs Noah silly*
Break my heart, why don't you! Just the Carly and Noah dynamic is genius. Also, EXCITED FOR NEXT CHAPTER.
~stuff I noticed~
1. Noah startled, choked as some of the tea spilled over the rim of his cup onto the counter.
Noah, startled, choked as some of the tea spilled over the rim of his cup onto the counter.
2. She muffled her laugh in his shirt and rubbed one had up his back,
She muffled her laugh in his shirt and rubbed one *hand* up his back,
3. because in the next few minutes said love was going make him fight to stay.
because in the next few minutes *that* said love was going *to* make him fight to stay. (The 'that' isn't necessary imo, but I just threw in there)
Okay, I'm done :P
no subject
Date: 2010-09-27 08:00 am (UTC)AND I MADE THE CHANGES! Thanks for reading and being so awesome!!
no subject
Date: 2010-09-29 01:30 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-09-30 03:28 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-10-25 05:53 am (UTC)LOL.
*hugs*
It's worth it though with the boys in the next chapter. :D
no subject
Date: 2010-09-27 09:01 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-10-25 05:57 am (UTC)It's always been such a shame that they never gave Noah any steady sort of familial ties. He deserved that. And I find it fascinating (in my head) to have him and Carly in that kind of parent/child relationship. They are in so many ways so very different yet...not completey.
Thank you for reading!
no subject
Date: 2010-09-27 09:50 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-10-25 05:58 am (UTC)I always enjoy Lulu and Holden. They make me smile.
Thanks so very much!
no subject
Date: 2010-10-25 05:59 am (UTC)Thanks so much for reading!
no subject
Date: 2010-09-27 12:01 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-10-25 06:00 am (UTC)Thanks so much for reading!
no subject
Date: 2010-09-27 02:55 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-10-25 06:01 am (UTC)LOVE THIS.
Thanks so much for reading!
no subject
Date: 2010-09-27 03:37 pm (UTC)ANYWAY.
So, Carly being Noah's mom still weirds me out...BUT I LOVE IT. IDK...I can actually see it really well, which is weird because Noah and Carly have never even shared a scene together on the show! But I can just picture it in my head still...Jake and Maura acting together...IDK. But I like it. And she is so supportive of him, and you can tell that she really loves and cares for him.
And I wanted to give drunk!emo!sad!Noah a HUGE HUGE HUGE hug. This whole case and the whole thing with Luke and everything else is really wearing on him! So glad that Carly came to pick him up!
AND SHE CALLED LUKE. OH MAN.
And I really laughed at Holden picturing him gathering up all of the Snyders and relocating them to Iowa! LOL! And having to sedate Noah to get him to leave town! HAHAHAHA that image is just hilarious to me...but again it could be my sleep-deprived, spazzed out brain. But whatev...I like it!
And I love the Faith that Lucinda and Holden and Emma have in Noah! They really believe in him as a cop and you can tell that they are very supportive and recognize how much passion he has for his job and how good he is at it. I LOVE that! Even though this story is AU, that aspect is totally CANON. Love it!
And OH MAN. SO EXCITED TO SEE WHAT HAPPENS IN THE LUKE AND NOAH SCENE COMING UP. I can't wait to see how Noah reacts to Carly calling Luke, and what Luke is gonna say and what is gonna happen!!!
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!
STILL LOVE IT SO MUCH, KAT! CAN'T WAIT FOR ME! :DDD
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Date: 2010-10-25 06:04 am (UTC)I love that Carly being Noah's mom freaks you out. Shoot, it still freaks ME out. I remember just being like "WHAT?" when it came to my mind but yeah. It works. It really really does.
She did call Luke. See? This is why it works, LOL.
Oh, Holden cracks my shit up like noone's bznz sometimes. His brain. *snorts*
I think it's a balm and a bane for Noah that so many believe in him. It's nice to have the support but at the same time it's like he CANNOT screw up, you know?
I haven't read all the comments for the latest chapter but I really hope you DID enjoy it!
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Date: 2010-09-27 04:48 pm (UTC)Great job Kat, I can't wait for more!
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Date: 2010-10-25 06:07 am (UTC)Noah would have benefited with a Carly in his life. Which I think I showed in the fact that he had a much less traumatic coming out than in canon. He had support and love. So, he's way less screwed up in SOME ways.
Thanks so very very much!
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Date: 2010-09-27 05:39 pm (UTC)Great chapter! Looking forward to the next one!
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Date: 2010-10-25 06:10 am (UTC)Thanks for reading!
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Date: 2010-09-28 05:07 am (UTC)I'm just loving this because it's so different. The very welcome addition and presence of Carly. The supernatural twist. The whole murder-mystery/Cold Case/cop drama element. All of it!
LOVELOVELOVE!
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Date: 2010-10-25 06:12 am (UTC)Pretty big. (That's what he said. :D)
YAY. SO GLAD YOU LIKED IT.
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Date: 2010-09-28 03:47 pm (UTC)I've also learned that brevity isn't in my genetic make-up, so this will be long and rambling. In lieu of brevity, maybe I'll try for coherence next week.
THIS CHAPTER!! The "Parent" chapter! I don't know if you planned it, but having the contrasting voices of Carly and Holden back to back delivered a hell of a punch. The common thread is parental love, of course, and you show us how that manifests in different ways and forms, how it's communicated and handled differently by two such different people as Holden and Carly. And yet, you also show us how it does boil down to essentially the same thing.
The Carly of this fic is so honestly and unflinchingly portrayed. She's so real to me. She reminds me of a dozen women I know, who fail often but never stop trying. I think it lies in the way you gave her these qualities that are very identifiable: strength that's undercut by brittleness, and insecurities that are rescued by healthy self-awareness. And I simply love that she's very much a parent; that she loves all her children so fiercely. Her dynamic with Noah is fascinating; in some ways, I think the parent-child roles may have been reversed at many points in their lives. But when it counts, like it does now, Carly is the mother that Noah needs. And that's just hugely satisfying from both dramatic and emotional perspectives.
It's like Oakdale was a festering wound that never healed.
Oh. Oh. Oh. In one sentence, you gave the town itself a personality. Oakdale is both exactly the sum of its parts and much more than that. This sentence sums it up for me. The events that have transpired and the personalities that have peopled your story till this point - they've all shaped Oakdale's personality. But this one line encapsulates how all of that impacts on one man, and his family and the networks of people connected to them. And suddenly, I see Oakdale as not just a place or the intersection of multiple personalities. It's a metaphor for this story; echoes of past and present, events that are entangled, lives that collide and intertwine. None of this probably makes any sense, nor is it likely how you intended this to be read. But it is how it's striking me as a reader. It's actually interesting, because this is an extremely plotty fic and plotty fics usually sweep me along on the tide of just things happening. But the structure you have chosen here, the switching points of view and the juxtapositions of timelines - these elements make reading this a very different and intellectually rewarding experience for me.
Oops! Sorry for the digression. I would be completely remiss if I didn't say something about the last segment of this chapter. Oh, these boys! They rend my heart to pieces, they really do (or YOU really do, to be accurate). So much love and yearning and all that trepidation and stubbornness. I love that you've made Noah the one who needs to be sought out and reached, because as a cop, he's the one who usually has to look and find the answers. And it really can be easier to answer the questions that are not your own. That Luke is going to him and is refusing to back down just shows how right they are for each other,and it leaves me flailing and sighing and AS EXCITED AS CAN BE about the next chapter!
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Date: 2010-10-26 03:09 am (UTC)The common thread is parental love, of course, and you show us how that manifests in different ways and forms, how it's communicated and handled differently by two such different people as Holden and Carly.
They are the two parents on this show that I believed loved their kids completely and despite all the mistakes they themselves made, that never took away from that love. The contrast between the two is astounding yet they have the same goal: protect their kids.
The Carly of this fic is so honestly and unflinchingly portrayed. She's so real to me. She reminds me of a dozen women I know, who fail often but never stop trying.
That's the Carly I loved. In the beginning, it was always her job to make mistakes and take all the crap that came with it. What got me was that she always managed to pick herself up, dust off, and try again. In the end, she knew what she could and couldn't give, and I loved her more for that. I'm glad it came across here.
Her dynamic with Noah is fascinating; in some ways, I think the parent-child roles may have been reversed at many points in their lives.
Oh my yes. Especially since in this univerise, Noah was the oldest, so he got the brunt of most of the drama that Carly probably made in her day. But she in turn gets her kid. Really well. Knows when to push. Knows when she needs to do better for him than he does for himself. I really enjoy what I wrote here and what's coming. This is really the first time we get to see their relationship and it's a doozy.
Oakdale is both exactly the sum of its parts and much more than that.
YES. JUST YES. To everything you said. Oakdale is its own enmey. And the people there get caught in its crossfires. That town is an entity on and of itself. Completely. To me, it is the narrator of this story. Of course, it's focus is centered on Luke and Noah but it brings in everyone whose lives they touch and those they touch, and like a ripple effect, it's very much an umbrella fic in the end.
Those boys! I hope that you did enjoy their scenes and it somehow climax appropiately.
Thank you again for the wonderful comments!
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Date: 2010-09-29 01:26 am (UTC)Oh, Lucy. Oh, Holden. Oh, little Noah.
It's a long wait until Sunday... gr.
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Date: 2010-10-25 06:23 am (UTC)\O/
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Date: 2010-09-29 04:04 pm (UTC)So happy that Luke is there for Noah, now Noah just needs to let him!
♥
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Date: 2010-10-26 03:12 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-09-29 09:08 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-10-26 03:13 am (UTC)Thanks so very much for reading!
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Date: 2010-09-30 12:42 am (UTC)Oh how I love this chapter! Happy as all-get-out Noah about to propose to his one true love and then whammo!! Drunk and hurting and aaaaaaaaangst. Carly has balls for days and I love how you've written her here. She loves Noah so much, and when he said "mama" I nearly broke with her.
I have NO idea where this is all heading! I can't wait to see!
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Date: 2010-10-26 03:14 am (UTC)Carly is amazing. Period. ♥
I loved the contrast of the flashback and reality a lot so I'm glad that you liked it enough to point it out. :D
I hope you enjoy the scenes the boys have!
Thanks for reading!
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Date: 2010-10-05 09:01 am (UTC)Can't WAIT for more!
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Date: 2010-10-26 03:15 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-10-07 09:18 pm (UTC)Noah sighed, thumped his head on the table and for the first time in years, he actually cursed in her presence. It made Carly smile softly. Good. He wasn't too far gone that she couldn't reach him. She rubbed one hand in circles on his back and listened to his breathing as he fought tears she knew he wanted to let go of.
“It's okay, baby.”
He turned his head to the side, still leaning on the table and she watched the streak of tears down his cheeks.
“Mama.”
That right there was soooo sad I love the Carly Noah realationship
it's strong and doesn't seem forced at all.
It was a gut reaction to Vienna's death but he contemplated it for several minutes. He didn't know how he'd convince his kids to leave but he thought it wasn't impossible. A sad smile quirked at his lips as he thought that they'd have to sedate Noah to get him away from there but it might be worth it.
I loved how Holden, refered to Noah, as one of the kids that he wasn't just talking about his kids but all the kids he loved,comfirming that no matter what Noah was a part of his family.
Man I'm so happy I read this it's so fucking excuse my french but it is really fucking good can't wait for more.
Also I can't believe I'm saying this but Neil and I hate too say but Brad for some reason is very suspect to me.
Please,please,please more.
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Date: 2010-10-26 03:16 am (UTC)Carly and Noah are just gah so lovely and sad together.
LOVE ME HOLDEN. And Noah is especially family here.
Ooooh. I like your guesses! Keep trying to figure it out! \o/!
Thanks so much for reading!