FIC: Indebted (QaF, B/J) Chapter 2: What Once Was

[freakykat]

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Title: Indebted
Chapter: Two - What Once Was
Sequel/Series: series...I hope.
Author: freakykat
Time Frame: Takes place during 3rd season after 3.04 - AU timelime
Summary: Justin asks Brian for a favor
Rating: R
Warnings: Justin/Ethan implied
Notes: Thanks to wouldbedorothy for beta-reading as usual. She's still handing out the bunny food here. A different way Brian/Justin could have gotten back together. Just a reminder that some of the storylines from Season 3 will be here however, they may be gotten to and resolved differently. And despite how this chapter may appear, I ADORE Teddy! Feedback appreciated and loved!
Disclaimer: I own none of this - they belong to Showtime, Cowlip and others. I only play with them a little. Once I'm done, I'll dust them off and give them back.


Indebted


Chapter 2: What Once Was


Justin gritted his teeth at the round of applause he received when he entered the diner. It was the same wherever he went that morning. He smiled woodenly, thanking the regulars who shouted congratulations and encouragement. Pushing the swinging door that led into the kitchen, he glared at Frank.

“Don’t even think about it.”

Frank laughed, shrugging. “I wasn’t going to say a word.” He pointed a thumb to the storage closet. “She’s in there.”

Justin marched toward it, almost knocking into the door as it swung open. “Shit!”

“Oh my god, Sunshine.” Debbie set down the boxes she was carrying and leaned down to help Justin to his feet. “I’m so sorry, sweetie. I didn’t know you were here.”

“This is just not my day,” Justin mumbled, brushing the crumbs off the seat of his pants. “Debbie- oof!” Debbie launched at him, hugging tightly, and Justin grabbed onto a nearby counter to stop them both from tumbling to the floor.

“Sunshine! I’m so proud of you!” Debbie giggled into his ear and jumped in excitement. “Why didn’t you say anything!” She pulled away, glaring at him, hands planted firmly on her hips. “I had to find out from that old fairy, Riley!”

“How the hell did he get one?”

“Honey, they’re all over. All the businesses got one. We always do.”

“Oh, wonderful.” Justin rubbed against the throbbing in his head, closing his eyes in an effort to shake it off. “Debbie, is it necessary to have it up here?”

“Of course it is, baby. We support our employees, you know that. Plus, who wouldn’t want to look at that?” She grinned at him and a second later was heading to the front of the diner. Justin watched her go, breathing in and out for several moments after she’d disappeared through the swinging door. Okay. This wasn’t so bad. He could get through it.

He reached into his locker for his apron and pulled it over his head, eyes falling on the picture that still hung inside. It was a snapshot of Brian and Gus that he had taken while they had napped together. Back when things had been different. One finger brushed across the still faces, halting abruptly, and Justin snapped the door shut. He couldn’t allow his thoughts to wander to the what-ifs that sometimes sprung up in his mind. Pulling tight on the ties, he wrapped them around his waist, tugged them securely and, picking up a tub, headed to the front. Bussing kept his mind busy enough to stop from wishing things he shouldn’t.

He noticed Ben enter and gave him a small, nervous wave before clearing the dishes from the counter. He silently prayed that he wouldn’t look too closely at the wall near the bathroom. Michael and Emmett entered, followed by Ted a few moments later, and Justin began to chant. He knew the odds were slim that it would go unnoticed, but stranger things had happened.

God loved him. He would spare him being here for it. He was a kind, benevolent deity.

“Holy spandex of hotness!” Michael exclaimed. “Will you look at that!”

Justin’s eyes closed. Brian was right. God was a bastard.

“That’s impressive.” Ben’s voice had a tinge of awe.

“You think?” Ted smirked, hands shaking at his side. “Jesus, who would have thought it.”

“It’s not that shocking. I mean, he’s one of the best looking of us all.”

“Well, yeah…but you know…” Michael gaped. “He’s like…like…hot!”

“What are you --- ohmigod!! Justin!!!!” Emmett squealed with delight.

Justin refused to look at them, and he groaned inwardly, cheeks suddenly flaming. He watched his friends -- he supposed they were still that -- from the corner of his eye.

“It’s - I have - wow,” Michael sputtered, eyes wide and shocked. His mouth hung open and Ben nudged it closed. Any other time, it would have made Justin laugh, but his stomach was recoiling too wildly for that.

“I couldn’t agree more.”

Justin’s head swerved toward the voice and, before he could stop it, his face broke into a grin. Brian returned the smile, coming to stand next to the boys to stare at the poster. Michael turned his head to glance at him and leaned in to whisper, “You let that go?”

Brian hissed back, “Mikey…shut it.”

Lately, Michael had been dropping little jabs here and there about things he had no right to talk about. Brian didn’t like it. He walked away from the group and took a seat in one of the empty booths. The others followed, eyes still glued to the poster.

Justin appeared at their side, quietly waiting for their orders. The table broke into applause and he bit his lip to stop from yelling. He counted to five, waiting for the first remark. He knew they meant no harm. It was how they were, so the sooner they got it over with, the better.

“Well, well, Boy Wonder.” Michael grinned up at him.

“I don’t think ‘boy’ is the appropriate noun,” Ted remarked, staring at Brian, one hand rubbing his eyes. Emmett swallowed nervously, bringing misty eyes to Justin.

“You look fabulous, baby!”

“Thanks. I made the poster.” He blurted it out before thinking it through.

“You did a great job, Justin.” Ben gave him a thumbs up.

“Yes, he did! Our little Sunshine is talented and a looker! Isn’t that right, boys?!” Debbie called from across the room and it broke into whoops and hollers. Justin wished the floor would open up.

Michael smirked at him, teasing. “I’d never seen that side of you before, Justin.” He caught the look Brian gave him, grinning in return.

“Ah…I hope not,” Ben scolded. There was a smattering of laughter around the table, and Justin relaxed slightly, trying to ignore the warmth he felt in the midst of it all. He realized he’d missed being part of this family. For all their flaws, they were the first ones to accept who he was. No questions. He smiled widely as they all seemed to move on from the subject. He was safe.

And then it happened.

“Who took the picture?” Emmett asked. All eyes were on Justin, including a pair of amused hazel ones.

Justin cleared his throat. “I’m sorry, what?”

“I asked who took the picture, sweetie?”

Brian jumped in. “What difference does it make?”

Emmett shrugged, eyes now on Brian. He paused, studying him before saying, a smile twitching at the corners of his mouth, “It’s just that there’s an intimate feel to it. I’m no photography expert, though I did fuck that Sears portrait guy from Allegheny once.” Emmett wiggled his pinky finger and continued. “But you seem really comfortable in it.”

Justin stuttered. “Well…I…was. I mean…” He wasn’t sure how much he was supposed to say. He doubted Brian would want them know. “It was…ah…a friend.” He kept his eyes away from Brian.

“Was it the fiddler?” Ted asked sharply.

Justin sent him a angry look but simply shook his head.

“Must be a good friend, then.” Ted glared at Brian. “Ethan must not be happy that someone else took that.”

Justin glared at him. “Ethan trusts me.”

“So, who took it?”

Justin took a deep breath. He was close to telling them all to go to hell.

“I took it.”

Everyone froze, eyes swinging from Brian to Justin and back. “Justin asked me for help. I gave it to him. End of story.” Brian stared at each of them for a few long seconds before turning his gaze to Justin, winking slyly at him. “Now, can we fucking order, please?” That was the end of it. The great Kinney had spoken.

Justin smiled back brightly, his heart beating faster at the familiar look he saw there. He mouthed a “Thank you” to Brian, receiving a smile in return. Justin gulped past whatever was now throbbing in his chest and asked, “You guys ready?”

Ben nodded. “Wheaties.” He was aware they were making Justin uncomfortable. And he could tell that Ted was wound up tight. He noticed Michael open his mouth to say something and kicked him pointedly in the shin.

“Ouch!” Michael sent him daggers but said nothing. He glanced at Brian, who was ignoring them all. “I guess I’ll have the lumberjack special.”

“So, Justin…I had no clue you were into that kind of exposure.” Ted’s voice was tight, and Justin glanced at him. His eyes seemed unfocused and hazy. He knew Ted had been having a hard time since his business had come under fire. “You know, porn isn’t kosher these days. Right, Brian?” Justin looked back and forth between the two friends, sensing there was more than he knew.

Emmett tugged at his shirt. “Teddy, please. Let it go.”

“What?” Ted snatched his arm away and smiled thinly. “You better be careful or your ex’s new friend might come after you for public indecency. I’m surprised Brian would do that. I mean we all know how much he cares for his friends.” Ted gritted his teeth. “You have to be especially careful there, Sunshine. You have a history, don’t you? Sap’s little go-”

Brian’s voice cut off the remark. “Can I get two eggs, toast, and an orange juice?” He glared at Ted. “And, Theodore, one more fucking word and I’ll rip your balls off one at a time. Got it?”

“You’re defending him now? Helping him? The guy that leaves you -- you, Brian fucking Kinney -- gets some respect, but I -- one of your oldest and dearest friends -- don’t.” Ted’s voice, full of anger and hurt, rose with each word, and the room fell into silence.

“Teddy. Stop,” Emmett begged, glaring at his partner. “It’s not Justin’s or even Brian’s fault.”

“Of course it’s Brian fault! You’re letting that motherfucker come after us!” Ted shoved Emmett hard, almost to the floor, as he pushed his way out of the booth and stomped to the door. Emmett started to follow but Ben’s hand stopped him. “Let him go. He needs to cool off.”

Emmett nodded. “He’s just under a lot of stress,” he said by way of apology. “He didn’t mean any of that.” He glanced at Brian without a word, returning to his menu.

Brian leaned forward in his seat. “What the fuck is he on, Emmett?”

Justin stared in shock at Brian. No. Ted? Wouldn’t-even-take-an-energy-tablet, Ted? What the hell had been going on? He’d escaped into his little world with Ethan and abandoned those around him. He studied Brian’s face, seeing the fatigue in his eyes as he argued quietly with Emmett.

“It’s fine, Brian. He can handle it,” Emmett snapped. “Can we get our breakfast, please? I‘ll have the usual.”

Brian sighed, shaking his head. “I’m late for an appointment.” He waited as Ben and Michael scooted out to let him through and moved towards the register, ignoring the whispered conversation and pointed looks. He glanced at up as Justin approached, handing him some bills. “I’m paying for them.”

“Are you going to wait for breakfast?”

“I don’t have the time.”

His hand brushed Brian’s as he took the money, and their eyes met. That unspoken energy crossing the space between them. Brian spoke softly, just for him. “You did good, Sunshine.” Brian’s head motioned to the poster, his eyes straying to Justin’s lips and back up. Something dark and nameless there.

Justin looked away quickly as he took the bill, adding up the meals mentally. He couldn’t let this happen. This feeling that swept over him now. He took a deep breath and, starting to give Brian his change back, glanced up to see him gone.

He should let him go.

The money in his hand, he ran out the door, calling out for Brian before he got into his car. He caught up to him and, breathless, raised the hand with the money. “You forgot your change.”

Brian quirked an eyebrow. “No, I didn’t. Keep it.” He shoved his briefcase into the backseat. Justin shook his head at him, feeling that same kick in the stomach now as he had the first time he’d seen the ‘Vette. It reminded him of the things that weren’t. Of what once was but was now gone. “Brian, that’s almost a thirty dollar tip. I can‘t accept that.” He motioned for Brian to take the money and was duly ignored. Sighing, he shoved the change into his apron pocket and watched Brian circle to the other side.

“Listen, about what happened in there…you didn’t have to do that.” Justin smiled softly. “But I wanted to thank you for….” His hand waved in the air between them helplessly.

Brian shrugged. “Don’t let what Ted said bother you. It was about me, not you.”

“He’s really pissed at you, isn’t he?”

Brian laughed mirthlessly. “They all are to some degree. Debbie barely looks at me these days.”

Justin heard it. That tone Brian would hide from them all. Desperate and sad, but resolved. “Why are you doing it?” Since their impromptu shoot, Justin had tried to catch up on what was happening around him. He could no longer ignore Debbie’s anger toward Brian or the panic that seemed to be seeping through the streets. Something was threatening them.

Brian looked over the car to him, his eyes bleak and hopeless. “Because I need to, Sunshine.” He climbed in the car, starting the engine. The passenger door opened and Justin was inside, closing it behind him soundly.

Brian cursed silently. His defenses weren’t what they once were nowadays. He couldn’t deal with this.

“I don’t know what’s going on, but I know you, Brian. Fucking Stockwell? You hate him. I can see it in your eyes whenever someone even remotely mentions his name.“ Justin silently willed Brian to look at him. He leaned closer, seeing that same bleakness in his eyes. “You hate this.”

“You know that, do you?”

Justin nodded. “I do. Since that night last month, I thought we’d gotten back to being…friends.”

Brian snorted. “We were never friends, Sunshine.”

“You were my friend,” Justin insisted. “Before everything happened. And, whether you believe it or not, I know you. Don’t give me that look. I know when you’re hiding away. I know when you’re swallowing down anger. It happened enough between us at…the end. You hate what’s happening.” Justin shook his head. “Which is why I don’t get what you’re doing it for.”

Brian spoke firmly. “He’s my ticket out of here. Plain and simple.”

“So, fuck all who get in his way? No matter that you care about them. You‘ll let them burn for Stockwell.”

Brian schooled his face, glancing at Justin. “If that’s what I have to do. “ He made his laugh cold at Justin’s obvious disappointment. “You know better than most the kind of bastard I am. Now get the fuck out.” He looked away, waiting for the sound of the door, that crushing ache that would follow, but it never came. What he heard was Justin’s deep sigh and, moments later, felt warm fingers on his cheek.

“I know better than most the bastard you pretend to be, Kinney.” The fingers tucked stray hair behind Brian’s ear, caressing it softly, and Brian fought against the torrent that threatened to spill. The now constant weariness overcame him, and his eyes closed. Pain coursing through like blood in his veins. He wanted to whimper, to give in, but he willed it to stay down, ignoring the reaction his body had with Justin so near.

“I said get the fuck out.”

The hand stopped at his neck, rubbing it softly. “You’re better than this, Brian.” With that parting shot, Justin climbed out of the car, Brian watching as he jogged down the block and disappeared into the diner.

His hand banged against the steering wheel, causing the pain to pulse up his arm. “Fuck.” It gripped his chest and he breathed, eyes watering. He needed to leave now. He wanted to forget the words that echoed in his mind, the voice that haunted him. That always left him aching for something different. That almost made him regret.

“You’re better than this, Brian.”


|Chapter 3|

Comments

[freakykat.livejournal.com]

OMG J! 1.) I squishy LOVEADOREWANT your icon! OMG! That is just the cutest thing EVAH!!!!

2.) Hell, I want to see that poster too! LOL! If any of the fabulous graphic designer want to do one, please feel free!

3.) I WROTE quite a bit of Say It Right!! HEEEE!!!