Fic: spinning sideways into place - 2/3
Dec. 23rd, 2010 09:58 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
freakykatTitle: spinning sideways into place - Two of Three
Author(s):![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
freakykat
Rating: NC-17
Characters/Pairings: Luke Snyder/Noah Mayer
Summary: This isn't the life he was meant to have.
|Part One|
spinning sideways into place
Part Two
He's warm.
That's the first thing he realizes as he wakes.
He's warm and comfortable, half covered by a soft blanket. There's quiet muttering in the room and when he breathes it smells familiar. Like gingerbread cookies. The ones his Grandma Emma makes for the holidays.
Luke feels relief wash over him at that because he has to be at the farm.
“Luke?”
Luke scowls, his eyes still firmly closed. That's not a voice he knows. Well, at least not longer than the two minutes he heard it while he stood outside in the snow with a head injury that has apparently made him crazy.
“I know you're not sleeping.”
There's a soft caress over his head and Luke's body thrums from the contact.
What the hell...?
He opens his eyes to find those same blue eyes giving him that concerned look again. Why did the figment of his imagination have to be so fucking pretty?
Luke tries to stand up but he feels dizzy almost immediately and lies back, groaning, “Okay. Maybe not.”
“Yeah. I think you scrambled your brains a little, babe.” He gets a warm, bright smile that makes his insides thaw some. There's a mug of what looks like tea sitting on the coffee table. “I made some tea to warm you up.” Noah -- Luke is certain that's his name -- touches his face gently. “You scared the hell out of me.”
Luke pulls away, scoots forward and forces his body up, never mind how it makes him want to throw up. “Look, dude. I don't know what game you're playing but this isn't funny, okay? I don't have a husband. These aren't my clothes. That,” he points out the window, “is not my car. So stop whatever you're doing.”
Noah sits ramrod straight, gaze studying Luke carefully. “You're really scared.”
Luke glares at him. “I never said that.” His voice is icy at the edge. “I just want my clothes and my car back.”
“Baby --”
“Stop calling me that.”
Noah shakes his head, mouth open to respond when there's a loud sound coming from the stairs and then two kids appear in the entryway, a little girl Luke thinks can't be more than four and a boy of eight holding her hand. The little girl has blond curls and brown eyes. He know those eyes.
The kids look back and forth between him and Noah until the boy's stare settles on Noah. “What happened to Dad?” Luke's eyes widen and he can't really breathe. He drops down on the armchair next to him.
Wait...what...he...
His mind is flying at a million miles a minute, trying to take in everything around him. This isn't real.
“It's okay, buddy. Dad just got into a small accident.”
The little girl makes a scared noise and drops the boy's hand, running toward Luke. “Are you okay, Daddy?” Her small hands frame his face, make his chest ache.
Whatever the hell this is, it's not playing fair.
He lets out a hysterical laugh, looking over at Noah. Something in his face must register with him because Noah stands and reaches out to the little girl, pulling her closer to him. “Come here, Ladybug. I need you to do something for me, okay?” He kneels in front of her, blocking her view of Luke.
“Of course I can. What do you want me to do, Daddy?”
“Go with Donovan, okay?”
Luke watches her make a face that is so familiar he swears he could be looking in a mirror but in the end, she nods and moves back towards the boy. He's watching Luke quietly, wary and more than a little scared. It makes Luke want to hug him but he remains where he sits.
“Donnie?”
Donovan takes his eyes off of Luke and looks at Noah. “Yes, Dad?”
“Why don't you and Lucy go to the kitchen? Get a snack. Do me a favor and call Dr. Wilson, okay? Ask her to come by.”
Donovan glances once at Luke then reaches out for Lucy before shuffling down the hall and into a door that Luke assumes leads to the kitchen. Noah waits for the door to shut before standing and turning to look at him.
“You really don't remember? Anything?”
Luke shakes his head, rubs his hand down his face as he stands up. “None of this. No. I know who I am. Where I was born. I remember the first time I broke a bone. When Julie Mann kissed me in the fifth grade and I realized that, yeah, that wasn't something I wanted to repeat.” That brings a smile to Noah's face, his eyes lightening slightly and that throws Luke off for a moment before he recovers. “But I don't remember you. Or this house. Or those kids, no matter how cute they are.”
Noah's face falls and he seems to be trying to keep it together. “What's the last thing you remember? Before the crash?”
“I was headed to a party at Dr. Dixon's house.”
Noah frowns. “At John's house?”
Luke blinks because how the hell...?
“Dad, Dr. Wilson wants to talk with you.” Donovan's says loudly from the kitchen.
Noah's eyes don't stray from Luke's as he calls out. “I'll be right there.” He makes a calming gesture toward Luke. “Okay, just. We'll fix this. Stay there.” He hurries down the hall and through the door. Luke keeps his gaze locked on it as he reaches for his coat, pulls it on, and quietly heads to the front door. The keys to the SUV are on the table and he grabs them, making it outside without anyone stopping him.
The van is parked in the driveway and the damage is superficial from what Luke can see. Not that he knows anything about those kinds of things. He takes a deep breath, opens the door and gets in, fastening his seat belt as he starts the ignition.
Noah appears at the door to the house, yelling out his name as Luke backs out and takes off down the street.
He needs to figure out what the hell is going on.
--
Luke's first instinct is to go the farm but it's too long a drive and he's still feeling the after effects of the accident. He pulls over twice from the dizziness. He panics until he remembers that Liberty lives close by. She would help him.
It's how he finds himself in front of her apartment building, entering when someone else leaves. She's on the second floor and he breathes in deeply as he climbs the stairs. There's a colorful wreath on her door, purple and silver, and it makes him feel better seeing that bit of someone he recognizes.
He knocks loudly, holding himself tense as he waits.
The door opens with a flourish and it takes a minute for Luke's mind to catch up to what he sees.
“Luke!” Liberty throws her arms around him, hug tight, grinning when she pulls back. “What are you doing here?”
“I -- wow.” He touches her very short hair, the deep red color streaked with some silver. “This is new.”
She pats her head and laughs. “I forgot you haven't seen the new cut.” She makes a funny face, spreading her arms wide as she says, “What do you think?”
“It's you, that's for sure. Did you get it done this afternoon?”
Liberty gives him a strange look as she closes the door and ushers him inside. “No. I've had it like this for a while.”
“But this morning --”
“Who was it, Lib?”
Hunter stops in his tracks when he sees Luke, smiling wide. “Luke. What in the world?” He gets another hug as he enters the room. Hunter looks different, too. Luke can't place why, really. There's a small crowd of people gathered in the living room. Some call out his name as he enters, others just wave. Luke only knows Kenny from accounting who raises his glass at him before turning back to his conversation.
“Quite a crowd.”
“It really is.” Hunter hands him a glass of sparkling cider and Luke sips it, feeling less out of sorts.
“Is Noah parking the car?”
Luke chokes on his drink, sputtering out a cough and stepping away from an alarmed Hunter. “Hey, you okay?” He glances at Liberty and they have a silent conversation over his head.
“Wait -- did you --”
“Luke, where's Noah?”
Luke shakes his head. “I don't understand. How do you know Noah?”
They exchange another look, Liberty reaching forward to take Luke's hand. “Why wouldn't we know him, Luke?”
“Because he's not real!”
Liberty looks shocked. “What?”
“I don't have a husband, okay? This is just -- I don't even know what this is.”
Hunter's eyes widen at Luke's outburst, the room falling silent, his words ringing out.
“Oh my god. Are you guys getting a divorce?” Someone Luke can't see says from the living room and he turns to glare at them.
“You can't divorce someone when you haven't married them.” Luke spits out, scowling at Hunter and Liberty. “This joke isn't funny.”
He doesn't wait for Liberty to say anything, turning on his heels and slamming his way out of the apartment. He takes the steps two at a time, racing back to the car.
He doesn't know where to go now.
--
He might not know but the van apparently does and he finds himself in front of Chris' building. He can see the lights are on in his duplex and he relaxes a fraction. They may not have the most conventional relationship but he knows Chris. That will be enough for now.
He climbs out, running up the path, sliding on the new fallen snow. He holds on to the railing, reaching the door without tumbling and he thinks maybe it's a sign of things turning around for him. He knocks three times, teeth starting to chatter from the cold.
Being cold means this isn't a dream which really just sucks.
The door opens and Luke meets Chris' surprised gaze. He smiles when he sees him, though, which makes Luke almost kiss him from relief.
“Luke. What in the world? Get inside.” Chris pulls him in and without thinking Luke hugs him. Chris tenses for a moment before returning the gesture, pulling back with a befuddled expression. “Are you okay?”
He's really sick of people asking him that question.
“No, I don't think I am.”
Chris looks really worried and it's so familiar that Luke can't help kissing him to keep that feeling going. There's no response from Chris when Luke touches their mouths together.
“This is new.”
Luke pulls back abruptly, gaze falling on the stairs to look up at a man he doesn't know, robe loosely tied, brown curly hair going in all directions. He gives Chris a look before walking down towards them. Luke notices that Chris' appearance is similar and he blinks a couple of times.
“Wait. I don't.” Chris was -- He turns to the guy whose smirking face Luke feels he should punch. “Are you sleeping with this guy?”
Chris' eyes go wide and he looks over at the guy before meeting Luke's glare. “Um...yeah.”
“Since when?”
Chris blinks, gives him the strangest look. “Are you serious?”
The other guy steps forward, standing next to Chris with enough intent that Luke realizes whatever this is didn't just happen. “I'm not exactly the jealous type --” Chris snorts but is ignored -- “but I don't particularly like it when other men fondle Chris. Especially exes. Exes who are seemingly happily married to someone I don't hate.”
Luke takes a step back. “So -- he's really --” He looks at Chris, shaking his head. “I'm really married?”
“Um...of course you are.”
“To Noah?”
“Yes.” Chris takes another step toward him, grips his arm tight and steers him to the couch. “You don't -- why would you ask?”
“I don't remember.”
“You don't remember?” The other guy asks, his face showing subtle signs of concern and there's another pair of people having silent conversations about him while he watches. Luke glances up at him and shakes his head.
“When I woke up this morning, I was dating Chris. I lived in a condo and drove a Jag. There was a party I was headed to and then I crash into a lamp post and I come to with a husband and kids and a life I don't even know.”
Chris puts a hand on his shoulder. “Okay. Back up. You had a car accident?”
Luke nods.
“Did you hit your head?”
“Of course I did. I had an accident!”
Chris glances up at the guy who's hovering now, his gaze fixed on Luke's face. “Reid.”
Reid just nods then heads up the stairs, stopping half-way to turn and point at Luke. “Do not move. I'm calling Noah then I'm coming back down to see what kind of damage we're dealing with.” He disappears and Luke looks over at Chris.
“He can -- he's a doctor?”
Chris frowns. “You don't remember Reid?”
Luke rolls his eyes. “I don't know my supposed husband and children, Chris. Of course I don't know this Reid guy.”
“Right. Sorry. Yes. He's a neurologist, actually.”
“And you two are...” He doesn't really know how to end that so he guesses, “Married? Dating?”
Chris shrugs, not looking right at Luke. “We don't -- there's no --” He sighs, glancing up the stairs before finally meeting Luke's eyes. “You call him my essential person.”
Luke blinks at Chris.
Of course he does.
--
It takes Luke ten minutes to decide that Reid is an ass. It takes him another ten to realize he's a really good doctor. Luke sits patiently (well, he only bitches a couple of times a minute so for him that's pretty good) while Reid checks his pupils, listens to his heart (which he has no idea what that has to do with his brain), and checks the cut on his head.
According to him, there isn't any significant injury, at least nothing that would account for Luke's amnesia or whatever is going on. He gives Luke a suspicious glare when he says that. Like Luke is making it up.
He thinks he should hate the guy. Even if he's married and no longer with Chris, it was just this morning, at least in Luke's head, that they were together. Plus, he thinks Luke's a liar or something, so. He should want to hit the guy.
But damn if he doesn't actually begrudgingly like the son of a bitch. It's probably the way he runs his hand over Chris' head as he walks by him and the look Chris gives him that makes Luke actually not hate him completely. He'd never fooled himself into thinking he was in love with Chris.
But Chris had been his friend. He likes his friends happy.
Reid is talking into his phone, back turned to him and Chris.
“You guys have a strange friendship.”
Luke raises an eyebrow. “Really?”
Chris nods. “Yeah. You mostly tolerate him because of Noah...but you've told me on more than one occasion that you like Reid more than you will admit to him. Ever.”
At the mention of Noah, Luke tenses, searching Chris' eyes when he asks, “Did we break up because of Reid or Noah?”
He gets a smile, the flash of dimples. “Neither. You and I were finished long before you met Noah. As for Reid, you were --”
“And Noah really is my husband?”
Chris nods again. “I don't think that's going to change no matter how many times you ask, Luke.”
Luke lets his head fall forward, cradling it in his hands. “It's so surreal, Chris. I have a husband. Kids. A house, probably. I don't know this life.”
“It's a good life.”
When he looks up, Chris is smiling. “When we were together, there was always something, missing, I guess is the word. And you weren't unhappy. But...”
Luke nods because that is a fact he knows.
“You're happy.”
“I am?”
Chris grins. “Yes. You are. You have great kids. You're doing what you always loved to do. And then there's Noah.”
Luke flashes to blue eyes and that killer smile. His stomach does a flip. “There's Noah.”
“He's hot.”
Luke laughs for the first time since he woke up in this strange world.
There's the smallest burst of warmth in his chest when the bell rings and Reid walks toward the door to open it. He doesn't understand anything but he knows Chris.
He wouldn't lie.
Noah fills up the doorway, gaze finding Luke and his face loses its sharpness, tension fading away as he lights up. “Hi.”
Some instinct he doesn't know makes him get up and reach for Noah, hugging him, tightening his hold when Noah sighs deeply. “I'm sorry I took off like that. It's just --” He pulls away and points to his head. “This is all, you know?”
Noah nods, squeezes his waist once before dropping his hands. “I get that you don't know this life. Reid explained that what you remember is back when you were dating Chris?”
They sit down and Luke retells Noah everything about waking up that morning single and in a completely different life. He watches Noah take it all in, nodding and touching Luke's hand when it gets too confusing for him to talk. It's like being grounded, the feel of Noah's hand on him. It's something his body knows even if Luke doesn't.
Reid looks down at the notes he's been taking while Luke talked. “So, last you remember was -- 2013? That's almost a decade.”
Luke adds it up in his head, sharp intake of air making everyone look at him. “Sorry. It's just. I'm in my thirties, Jesus.”
There's a pause and then Chris starts laughing, head shaking as he looks at a smirking Reid. “Well, at least his personality is the same.”
Luke meets Noah's smiling eyes, feels it deep in his gut and swallows hard.
--
Reid says Luke is fine. At least physically, anyway. That whatever is going on is probably due to post trauma. The accident had scrambled some of his memories. They would come back eventually though Reid couldn't predict when. He wasn't calling it amnesia.
“You aren't lost to yourself. Just confused. It'll pass.”
Luke wishes he could be that confidant. Noah fiddles with the radio station to fill in the silent car ride as Luke pulls out his wallet, looking at his driver's license for the nth time. It had been the first thing Chris had made him look at.
Luke Snyder-Mayer.
The car stops, making Luke glance up and he sees the house, lit up from the inside. He wishes that he would get a flash of this life so he could know he wasn't crazy. But he gets nothing. Not from the house. Not from the man next to him. Not from anything.
“It'll come back.”
Luke smiles softly at the sureness in Noah's voice. “I hope so.” And he does. He wants to remember, to know that this whole existence is real. It's his.
Noah nods. “That's enough for now.”
He grabs for Luke's hand, twining their fingers together and it sends tingles up Luke's arm.
Luke misses it when Noah lets him go.
The door opens and a young teenage girl Luke doesn't know steps out, pulling on her coat. “I saw the car from the window.” She waves her hand at Noah when he reaches for his wallet. “You can get me later. It's okay.” Her eyes fall on Luke and she smiles, pats his shoulder as she walks by, “I'm really glad you're back, Mr. Snyder.”
“Thanks.”
He watches as she turns down the sidewalk and over one house, disappearing inside.
They walk into the quiet house and Luke stops short by the entrance to the living room. Noah pauses right behind him, heat radiating down Luke's back and he ignores it as best he can.
Donovan is sitting on the couch, watching television and looks up when he hears them. He smiles at Luke for the first time as he gets up from his seat, moving to Luke and hugging his waist. “You came back.”
Luke holds him tightly, heart expanding in his chest and he drops a kiss onto Donovan's soft hair. “Of course I did.” He can sense Noah watching him but he doesn't look. He's not ready for what it means that he wants to.
Noah's voice is soft when he grabs Donovan by the shoulders and steers him to the stairs. “Time for bed, kiddo. Dad will be here in the morning.” He sends Luke a quick look. “Come on.” He heads up the stairs with their son -- Jesus Christ -- and Luke keeps his gaze on them. They stop at the top and he hears a quick “Love you, Dad.”
Luke freezes, the words he should respond with stuck in his throat but luckily Noah hurries Donovan away. He bends at the waist, hands on his knees as he tries not to panic. After a minute of deep breathing, he can stand again, taking off his coat and chucking it on a nearby chair.
He moves along the room, trying to get his bearings. There are pictures lining the walls and Luke studies them carefully. He smiles at the ones of the kids at different ages. He picks up the one of his sisters and brother -- it's blowing his mind how grown up they look. There's one of Aaron and a girl he doesn't know at all -- long, black hair. Gorgeous. It looks like a wedding photo.
“That was a nice day.”
He jumps at the sound of Noah's voice, turning to give him a guilty look. “Sorry.”
“For what? It's okay to want to know, Luke.” Noah is holding some blankets and a pillow.
“Are those for me?”
Noah looks down at his hands, smiles as he shakes his head. “Nope. These are for me. I figured you'd be more comfortable if I slept down here tonight. Or until, you know.”
Luke frowns, feeling horrible about the whole situation. “Noah. No. I can sleep down here. I don't want to take your bed.”
Noah shrugs. “It's your bed, too.” He meets Luke's stare and there's fear in his eyes but he seems to shake it off, motioning to a door on the opposite end of the room. “Besides, I've still got more presents to wrap. I'll be down here a while.”
He thinks for a moment before asking. “Do you need help?”
Noah's smile, slow and sweet, makes Luke's heart flutter and his stomach clench. He thinks he really likes it. “That would be great.”
--
Luke wakes up to a shaking bed and for a minute he thinks maybe it was all a dream.
“Merry Christmas, Daddy.”
He stifles the groan that he wants to give, pulls his head out from under the covers and stares up at the smiling face of his daughter. (He really doesn't think he's going to get used to that.)
She's smiling at him, reflection of his own face, and that's just too freaky to comprehend this early in the morning without coffee. “Merry Christmas, pumpkin.” It comes out naturally and he pauses as he says it but the grin he gets tell him that was the right thing to say.
There's another dip in the bed and Luke turns to find Donovan on his other side. “You remember yet, Dad?”
Luke shakes his head. “'Fraid not, kiddo.”
“He called me pumpkin, Donnie!”
Donovan gives him a probing look, one Luke thinks he must get from his other father before stating, “That's what you always call her. You sure you don't remember?”
There's two sets of eyes staring at him intently and he resists the urge to hide under the comforter. He's the adult in this equation.
“I'm sorry, guys. I wish I did.”
He really does. Because that would at least mean he wasn't insane. Or a time traveler or whatever.
“Okay, you two, that's enough. Let your father have some coffee first. You know better.” They look at each other and then back at Luke before nodding.
“Oh, yeah. Forgot.” Donovan giggles, climbing down from the bed.
Lucy struggles, almost falling, and Luke immediately scoots forward, leaning over the edge to hold her steady until she's got both feet on the ground. She kisses his cheek before running after her brother.
Noah is standing at the door with a mug in his hands, hiding his grin. He walks to the bed, sets the cup on the bedside table and leans down to kiss Luke. It's quick, an everyday gesture Luke supposes but his lips tingle after. He stares at Noah and sees when he realizes what he's done.
“Damn. I -- it's habit.”
Luke nods. “It's okay. I understand.”
Noah looks frustrated, not that Luke can blame him, because this has to be killing him. He backs away, motioning toward the door. “We'll wait until you come down, okay?”
He nods, watches him go with this strange sense of loss, and Luke thinks he needs to get it together.
He has two options: sulking about this situation he doesn't get or making the best of it until he does.
It's not like this life is bad.
He makes up his mind, grabbing his mug of coffee and heading into the bathroom to change.
Time to deal.
--
It's scary that what took him and Noah two hours to wrap the night before can all be unwrapped in less than twenty minutes. He sits on the couch, smiling wider and wider as presents are pulled out, exclaimed over. Each time Donovan or Lucy laughs it goes right to his chest. He knows what it's like -- these mornings -- from their end.
It's nice to know they were probably as enjoyable to his parents.
When Noah goes into the other room, Luke leans forward, his gaze on Donovan, waiting to see his reaction. It's as great as he wanted it to be, Donovan's eyes going wide when Noah returns with the bike he'd spent thirty minutes cursing at while putting together.
Luke found it really adorable, actually.
When the rush of opening the gifts is over, he surveys the room and sighs.
That's a lot of paper.
“Donovan, can you hand that one right there to your Dad?”
Luke blinks in surprise when he gets a present dropped on his lap. He glances at Noah who shrugs with a smile. “I know we said we weren't going to exchange any this year since we've got the big one-oh coming up but I know you, Snyder. There's no way you weren't getting me something.”
That sounds like him.
He chooses to ignore the panic at the “big one-oh” comment.
Noah flaps a hand at him and Luke laughs, opening the present. It's not heavy but it's not light either. He rips at the paper and stops when he sees the laptop box. He looks up at Noah.
“It's the one Hunter told you about. With that writing program you really wanted.” Noah's face seems flushed and Luke doesn't even know what to say.
Well, he does.
“Writing program?”
Noah nods. “You had such a hard time with the last one. I just wanted you to have whatever you needed.”
He wrote...
He was a writer.
“I'm a writer.”
The kids look at him and Donovan nods. “Best writer in the world.”
“Yep.” Lucy echoes with a large smile.
It's too much at once and he wants to flee.
This isn't supposed to be his life.
“Daddy, this one is for you from all of us.” Lucy hauls a huge box over, with Donovan's help. “We bought it together.”
Noah grins so wide that Luke has to blink. He opens the box, taking his time with it and Luke is vibrating by the time he has his hand inside. “Oh my god, come on.”
Noah laughs and pulls the gift out, cutting off when he sees the camera in his hand. He meets Luke's eyes. “Babe. No. You didn't.”
Luke starts to say that he hadn't but then -- he probably had. He makes an apologetic face. “What is it?”
“New camera I wanted.” He's like a little kid, flipping buttons and switches, his hand caressing the gift with a gentle touch. He pulls Lucy closer, kissing her cheek as she laughs. Then reaches for Donovan, doing the same and receiving a “Oh, come on, Dad.” He gives Luke that huge grin and leans forward, brushes his mouth over Luke's cheek. “Thank you.”
The doorbell rings before Luke can find the words to respond. He wants to touch Noah. Badly. It's just -- it's unexpected.
“How are my favorite pair of monsters this morning?”
Luke's eyes widen and he gets up, seeing Casey walk into the room and straight at Noah, hugging him hard. “Merry Christmas, man.” He pulls back, his face falling slightly when he looks at Noah. He glances over at Luke, smiling cautiously when he catches Luke's freaked out expression. “Hey. You okay?”
Noah shakes his head.
Maddie walks in and grins at Luke. Maggie (her face is exactly the same even at this age) follows Donovan into the room, waving at Luke. “Merry Christmas, Uncle Luke.”
Luke waves, his eyes falling on the little boy Maddie is holding on her hip.
Noah motions to Luke, pushing Casey into the kitchen. “Why don't you two go in there and talk.” Before Casey can protest, Luke nods fast, grabbing his best friend's hand and hauling him into the other room. Once there, he turns and clings to him.
“Whoa. Okay. What the hell is going on? Are you okay?”
Luke shakes his head against Casey's shoulders and tries to keep everything he's been bottling up at bay.
Casey is here.
That's all he needs for the moment.
--
Casey stares at him for a good ten minutes when Luke tells him he can't remember his life. He thinks it's a joke until Noah walks in to get some drinks for the kids and confirms it for him. The sad tone in Noah's voice must be convincing because Casey just sits with a plop at the table. Luke takes the seat next to him and leans on his shoulder.
“Shit.”
“Exactly.”
Casey sighs. “So all you know is -- back when you worked for your father? Nothing else?”
Luke blinks at him.
Casey's eyes open wide. “Oh. Crap. Noah didn't tell you yet?”
“I think he's trying not to push me. Scared that it might make things worse. Reid said I'd remember on my own... I don't work at World Wide anymore?”
“Not for almost ten years now actually. You quit.”
“I quit?”
“Yeah. Just decided to do something else with your life.”
“Writing.” He can hear the note of wonder in his own voice. It's something he'd dreamed off, kept to himself.
Casey grinned. “Eventually. You woke up one morning and decided to save yourself. And well, some of us, too.” His friend reaches over to hug him. “You're happy, man. You and Noah are -- well, you're kind of stupid about each other and make me sick. Seriously. Disgusting.”
Luke grins at that.
He can imagine it actually.
“This is really my life?”
Casey pauses, raises an eyebrow as he nods. “Yes.”
It's not possible. “I just -- I can't believe that.”
“Why not?”
“Casey, come on. This is me. I was never the guy that this happened to.”
“You can't be serious. Luke. You deserve everything you have.”
Luke shakes his head. He wasn't supposed to get the happy ending. Nothing in his life had been that easy.
“It's not -- I mean, who gets it all? Not me.”
“It wasn't like this dropped into your lap, Luke. You worked for the life you have. You and Noah... dude. Listen to me. I was there the day you met, okay? I saw the look on your face from across the room. ”
Luke snorts. “So I meet the love of my life, start writing and end up in this fantastic life with two incredible kids? Me? Luke Snyder?”
Casey looks at him, nods once. “That's more simply than I would have put it but essentially, yes. You. Luke Snyder.”
He can feel the hope rising inside and he gives Casey a probing look.
“This is real? Really real?”
Casey grins at him, one hand at the back of Luke's head and squeezes gently. “This is your life, Luke Snyder.”
It's so ridiculous that Luke laughs, feels it go through him and starts to believe.
--
They wind their way up the farm's driveway slowly. There are way too many cars parked near the house. Luke wonders how many people come to these family events now. Who brings what person. He's not sure he wants to know and thinks that maybe they can celebrate at their house. Alone.
He doesn't think he can handle all his family. There are things he won't know and they'll freak out and ask questions.
“Noah?”
“Hmm?” He glances over at Luke as he undoes his seat belt.
“You think it'll be okay if we don't say anything to the family?”
Noah studies his face then nods his agreement. “If that's what you need, sure. Just -- if you get in trouble -- nudge me. I'll come rescue you.”
Luke grins. “My hero.”
Noah blushes and Luke likes that look on him, loves that he did it. The kids are out of the car already, halfway up the walk and they get out too, grabbing the bags of presents from the trunk and following them in.
It's what he remembers it being.
Too much noise and people hugging and talking over each other. Asking questions he doesn't like. There are several new faces and he politely returns any greetings as generally as he can from them. But the ones he does know are so different in some cases that he can't even begin to figure out how to act.
Ethan -- who is almost as tall as Luke -- hugs him before lunging at Noah and talking his ear off about some film he saw. Faith introduces her new boyfriend -- he guesses -- and gives him suspicious looks when he doesn't seem to react the way he should. Natalie kisses his cheek, shows him her new artwork and she's so beautiful, it takes his breath away.
His Grandma Emma is feeding Lucy from her secret stash of cookies and Donovan found a corner where he's talking up a storm with a little boy Luke doesn't recognize at all. It's so surreal and wonderful that he doesn't know what he should do.
Noah stands next to him, one hand on his back, holding him steady when he sees his parents across the room from him.
Leaning into each other, laughing quietly and when his dad bends down to kiss his mother, Luke turns away, catching Noah's worried stare. “I -- sorry. When did they...?” He motions behind him and Noah looks at his parents, his face softening. It almost seems like he's contemplating the move before he reaches out to touch Luke. It's a comfort thing, Luke knows that, but it doesn't stop the heat from uncoiling in his stomach.
“It's been a while. Before we met, actually.” He wraps one arm around Luke's waist, coming to stand behind him and leans his chin on Luke's shoulder. “They remarried after Lucy was born.”
Luke takes a deep breath and says nothing.
“Yeah. You've never been sure how you feel about it.”
“What about you?” he asks and for some reason it's important to know the answer.
“Me? I'm a big fan of true love. So.” Noah hides his face in Luke's neck, drops a kiss there and Luke leans into it, biting his lip to keep from smiling.
--
Noah can't be real.
Luke decides this as he watches Noah make his little sister laugh or when he sits at the table while his grandmother cooks, talking quietly as she works. His mother seems pretty taken by him. His dad ruffles Noah's hair as he walks by, repeating it when he passes Luke.
It's not just Noah. The kids -- their kids -- are pretty damn amazing. Lucy sits on Lucinda's lap when she arrives with John. Makes his grandmother smile, her whole face lighting up like he's rarely ever seen. He's pretty sure she's got everyone wrapped around her little finger.
But it's Donovan that makes Luke react the most. He's quiet, which isn't surprising with how not Lucy is, and he stays to the side, helping when he's asked, playing with his cousins. He seems to bring a calm to whatever he does and Luke is pretty sure he doesn't get that from him.
But --
There's something in his eyes that makes Luke's chest clench. Like he isn't sure that it's all real. He makes a note to sit Noah down and ask about it.
He has so many questions about this life. He needs a notebook to list them all.
Luke finds the opportunity to ask the one that he thinks is the most important.
He's setting the table with Noah, adding the silverware as Noah places the plates when he finally gets the courage to ask.
“So.”
Noah pauses to look up at him, his lips turning up slightly, and waits for Luke to continue.
“How did we meet?”
Noah's grins at the question and shrugs. “We met because of work. Sort of. You actually kind of yelled at me when we were introduced.” He laughs at the way Luke's mouth drops open. “Well, it was more like you were annoyed at me. You told me I took too long.” Noah snorts. “Then, you kissed me. It was a pretty interesting first meeting.”
Luke gives him an incredulous look. “Not to mention creepy.”
Noah walks toward him, crowding into his space and Luke forgets his hands are full, tries to grab at Noah's shirt. Noah takes away the forks and spoons, setting them on the table. Luke pulls him in closer, watches his eyes darken when he does and it's like it wasn't before. He knows Noah. He's pretty sure he'll fall for him. That it would be the best and scariest thing to happen to him ever.
Noah leans his forehead on Luke's and his eyes fall closed. “You were creepily cute.”
It startles a laugh from Luke as he watches Noah's eyelashes flutter against the feel of his breath. “So it was love at first sight is what you're saying?”
There's a huge grin on Noah's face and Luke resists the urge to lick his mouth, to kiss him.
“What can I say. I'm irresistible.”
Luke brings his arms around Noah's back, pulls him in and lets himself fall.
--
He wants to stay with his family and at the same time really needs to be alone with Noah.
When they finally leave, Lucy pliant and sleepy against his shoulder, Donovan yawning every few minutes, he gives his mother a kiss and she looks into his eyes. “I don't know what's going on, sweetie, but it'll work out.” His dad smiles comfortingly from her side and Luke nods.
He's starting to think they're right.
The car ride is warm, the sounds of Donovan's soft snores and Lucy's breathing familiar somehow. He reaches for Noah's hand and twines their fingers, settles them on Noah's thigh.
It takes thirty minutes to get the kids changed and in bed. Lucy wakes up and Luke reads her a story to get her back down. She kisses his hand after he finishes then curls up on her side, eyes drooping closed. He shuts her door, steps lightly to Donovan's and watches Noah tuck him in bed. He turns when he hears Luke, motions for him to come in and steps out of the room, presumably to say good night to Lucy.
Luke runs his hand through Donovan's hair, smiles when his eyes open slightly, giving Luke a soft, “Night, Daddy.”
“Good night, cowboy.” He remembers his father saying the exact same thing to him and he can't help but repeat it.
Donovan turns toward the wall, his breathing steadying out and Luke leaves quietly. Noah is in the hall and raises his hand when the door is halfway shut. “He doesn't like it closed.”
Luke nods and follows Noah down the stairs, into the kitchen, feeling like he's waiting for something. Noah puts away the dishes, starts the coffee and talks softly about nothing and everything. Dinner plans they had with Maddie and Casey for the beginning of the week. Natalie agreeing to babysit for New Years. His meeting with Hunter about some foundation.
He stops and looks behind him, an apology visible on his face. Luke doesn't want that.
“It's okay. I like that you talk to me like I'm -- well, me.”
Noah's eyes crinkle at the edges and Luke feels it in his gut. This is him. This is what he'd been waiting for. He doesn't know anything else but he knows that.
“This is hard for you.”
Noah looks at him, brow raised in question.
Luke stands up, walks to where Noah is standing with the mugs ready, and leans against the edge of the counter. “Me not remembering. It's got to be frustrating.”
Noah gives him that slow burner smile from earlier, makes a shiver run down Luke's back. “We've been through a lot worse, I think. This we can handle.” He pours coffee into a mug, handing it to Luke and winks when Luke takes it. It smells like his favorite. “Besides, it just means we get to fall in love all over again. I'm okay with that.”
Luke stills for only a second then slowly sets the cup on the counter. Noah's eyes widen when Luke slides toward him. He doesn't think, just reaches up to cup Noah's face and kisses him, mouth opening when Noah groans like he's been waiting for this -- which Luke supposes he has -- and forgets it all when they touch. Noah is warm pressed up against him, hands flexing over Luke's shoulders and down his back, clutching onto his hips.
Luke pulls, moves toward the stairs and meets resistance. He kisses Noah harder, tries again and when Noah stays in place, he makes a frustrated noise. He feels the vibration of Noah's laugh run under his fingers and Luke scowls.
“Baby, I need to turn off the coffee.” Noah kisses his mouth once, twice then leans back, flicks a switch. Luke's fingers are bunched in his shirt, and as soon as Noah is finished, he tightens his hold, pushes up on his toes and licks his way into Noah.
It's a blur of clothes, skin, teeth and hands. He doesn't know how they make it up the stairs and onto their bed. Luke is pretty sure it was purely luck they didn't kill themselves. All he knows is Noah's weight on him, Noah's hands touching his face, his waist, Noah's mouth on his cock and Luke arches up, drags a hand through Noah's hair and grips hard.
Noah takes him to the brink, slowing down to make it last and when Luke thinks he can't take anymore, he pulls away. There's a whine coming from Luke as Noah's heat disappears and he opens his eyes to say something, anything, to bring him back when he feels Noah's hands spread his thighs apart. Then Noah pushes two fingers in and Luke loses all coherent thought.
“Nnnnggghh.”
His body responds like it knows this, Noah's fingers in him, building with pressure and angles and speed. Luke opens his eyes, finds Noah looking up at him, open mouth against his skin and it's too much. Luke bucks up, hisses out please and now and baby. Then it's the blunt head of Noah's cock, burn so good, fingers digging into the sheets, head thrown back against the bed, Noah's mouth pressed against his throat and he thrusts up into it until it's just them.
The tangle of limbs, mouths fused on sweat slick skin, the taste he recognizes even if he doesn't know it...
--
Some time later, Noah tries to move off him and Luke grips at his back, makes him stay where he is.
“I'm crushing you, babe.”
Luke sighs, snuggles up into the warmth, shakes his head. “I really don't care.” He strokes down Noah's back, feels the shiver that runs through him and smiles, kisses Noah's temple.
“Is it always like that?”
“I like to think so.” Noah's voice is laced with humor and Luke slaps at his shoulder.
“This is all -- it can't be perfect.”
Noah snorts, drops a kiss onto his chest before glancing up, blue eyes dancing. “It's not. We're not perfect, Luke. We fight. We have problems. Families that get in the way. Kids that don't behave. Days that make us cranky and bitchy. Jobs that leave us frustrated and we take it out on each other. But at the end of the day, we're here.”
“And we're happy?”
“I think we are.”
Luke nods, rubs his cheek against Noah's head, feels the fog of sleep claiming him. “We are.”
He feels Noah smile on his skin.
“I really love you, don't I?”
Noah chuckles, the sensation running through Luke. “I hope so since I'm hopeless about you.”
“This was what I never knew I wanted.” Luke closes his eyes, falling into the waves of exhaustion. “I never knew but now...”
Noah's fingers wrap around his wrist, bring his hand up for a kiss, whispering into the skin. “I'm here, baby. I always will be.”
He knows that, he thinks and lets the darkness take him.
--
He doesn't want to open his eyes.
He knows what he'll see when he does.
“Luke.”
It's Bob's voice and he scrunches his eyes shut, tries to keep the grief from crushing his chest in.
“Open your eyes.”
He does.
There's his mother looking relieved and his father trying not to seem as worried as he is. He glances down at his body, still in the suit, and around the hospital room.
He meets Bob's happy gaze and wants to punch anything in sight.
“Welcome back, son.”
|Part Three|
♥
Author(s):
freakykatRating: NC-17
Characters/Pairings: Luke Snyder/Noah Mayer
Summary: This isn't the life he was meant to have.
|Part One|
spinning sideways into place
Part Two
He's warm.
That's the first thing he realizes as he wakes.
He's warm and comfortable, half covered by a soft blanket. There's quiet muttering in the room and when he breathes it smells familiar. Like gingerbread cookies. The ones his Grandma Emma makes for the holidays.
Luke feels relief wash over him at that because he has to be at the farm.
“Luke?”
Luke scowls, his eyes still firmly closed. That's not a voice he knows. Well, at least not longer than the two minutes he heard it while he stood outside in the snow with a head injury that has apparently made him crazy.
“I know you're not sleeping.”
There's a soft caress over his head and Luke's body thrums from the contact.
What the hell...?
He opens his eyes to find those same blue eyes giving him that concerned look again. Why did the figment of his imagination have to be so fucking pretty?
Luke tries to stand up but he feels dizzy almost immediately and lies back, groaning, “Okay. Maybe not.”
“Yeah. I think you scrambled your brains a little, babe.” He gets a warm, bright smile that makes his insides thaw some. There's a mug of what looks like tea sitting on the coffee table. “I made some tea to warm you up.” Noah -- Luke is certain that's his name -- touches his face gently. “You scared the hell out of me.”
Luke pulls away, scoots forward and forces his body up, never mind how it makes him want to throw up. “Look, dude. I don't know what game you're playing but this isn't funny, okay? I don't have a husband. These aren't my clothes. That,” he points out the window, “is not my car. So stop whatever you're doing.”
Noah sits ramrod straight, gaze studying Luke carefully. “You're really scared.”
Luke glares at him. “I never said that.” His voice is icy at the edge. “I just want my clothes and my car back.”
“Baby --”
“Stop calling me that.”
Noah shakes his head, mouth open to respond when there's a loud sound coming from the stairs and then two kids appear in the entryway, a little girl Luke thinks can't be more than four and a boy of eight holding her hand. The little girl has blond curls and brown eyes. He know those eyes.
The kids look back and forth between him and Noah until the boy's stare settles on Noah. “What happened to Dad?” Luke's eyes widen and he can't really breathe. He drops down on the armchair next to him.
Wait...what...he...
His mind is flying at a million miles a minute, trying to take in everything around him. This isn't real.
“It's okay, buddy. Dad just got into a small accident.”
The little girl makes a scared noise and drops the boy's hand, running toward Luke. “Are you okay, Daddy?” Her small hands frame his face, make his chest ache.
Whatever the hell this is, it's not playing fair.
He lets out a hysterical laugh, looking over at Noah. Something in his face must register with him because Noah stands and reaches out to the little girl, pulling her closer to him. “Come here, Ladybug. I need you to do something for me, okay?” He kneels in front of her, blocking her view of Luke.
“Of course I can. What do you want me to do, Daddy?”
“Go with Donovan, okay?”
Luke watches her make a face that is so familiar he swears he could be looking in a mirror but in the end, she nods and moves back towards the boy. He's watching Luke quietly, wary and more than a little scared. It makes Luke want to hug him but he remains where he sits.
“Donnie?”
Donovan takes his eyes off of Luke and looks at Noah. “Yes, Dad?”
“Why don't you and Lucy go to the kitchen? Get a snack. Do me a favor and call Dr. Wilson, okay? Ask her to come by.”
Donovan glances once at Luke then reaches out for Lucy before shuffling down the hall and into a door that Luke assumes leads to the kitchen. Noah waits for the door to shut before standing and turning to look at him.
“You really don't remember? Anything?”
Luke shakes his head, rubs his hand down his face as he stands up. “None of this. No. I know who I am. Where I was born. I remember the first time I broke a bone. When Julie Mann kissed me in the fifth grade and I realized that, yeah, that wasn't something I wanted to repeat.” That brings a smile to Noah's face, his eyes lightening slightly and that throws Luke off for a moment before he recovers. “But I don't remember you. Or this house. Or those kids, no matter how cute they are.”
Noah's face falls and he seems to be trying to keep it together. “What's the last thing you remember? Before the crash?”
“I was headed to a party at Dr. Dixon's house.”
Noah frowns. “At John's house?”
Luke blinks because how the hell...?
“Dad, Dr. Wilson wants to talk with you.” Donovan's says loudly from the kitchen.
Noah's eyes don't stray from Luke's as he calls out. “I'll be right there.” He makes a calming gesture toward Luke. “Okay, just. We'll fix this. Stay there.” He hurries down the hall and through the door. Luke keeps his gaze locked on it as he reaches for his coat, pulls it on, and quietly heads to the front door. The keys to the SUV are on the table and he grabs them, making it outside without anyone stopping him.
The van is parked in the driveway and the damage is superficial from what Luke can see. Not that he knows anything about those kinds of things. He takes a deep breath, opens the door and gets in, fastening his seat belt as he starts the ignition.
Noah appears at the door to the house, yelling out his name as Luke backs out and takes off down the street.
He needs to figure out what the hell is going on.
--
Luke's first instinct is to go the farm but it's too long a drive and he's still feeling the after effects of the accident. He pulls over twice from the dizziness. He panics until he remembers that Liberty lives close by. She would help him.
It's how he finds himself in front of her apartment building, entering when someone else leaves. She's on the second floor and he breathes in deeply as he climbs the stairs. There's a colorful wreath on her door, purple and silver, and it makes him feel better seeing that bit of someone he recognizes.
He knocks loudly, holding himself tense as he waits.
The door opens with a flourish and it takes a minute for Luke's mind to catch up to what he sees.
“Luke!” Liberty throws her arms around him, hug tight, grinning when she pulls back. “What are you doing here?”
“I -- wow.” He touches her very short hair, the deep red color streaked with some silver. “This is new.”
She pats her head and laughs. “I forgot you haven't seen the new cut.” She makes a funny face, spreading her arms wide as she says, “What do you think?”
“It's you, that's for sure. Did you get it done this afternoon?”
Liberty gives him a strange look as she closes the door and ushers him inside. “No. I've had it like this for a while.”
“But this morning --”
“Who was it, Lib?”
Hunter stops in his tracks when he sees Luke, smiling wide. “Luke. What in the world?” He gets another hug as he enters the room. Hunter looks different, too. Luke can't place why, really. There's a small crowd of people gathered in the living room. Some call out his name as he enters, others just wave. Luke only knows Kenny from accounting who raises his glass at him before turning back to his conversation.
“Quite a crowd.”
“It really is.” Hunter hands him a glass of sparkling cider and Luke sips it, feeling less out of sorts.
“Is Noah parking the car?”
Luke chokes on his drink, sputtering out a cough and stepping away from an alarmed Hunter. “Hey, you okay?” He glances at Liberty and they have a silent conversation over his head.
“Wait -- did you --”
“Luke, where's Noah?”
Luke shakes his head. “I don't understand. How do you know Noah?”
They exchange another look, Liberty reaching forward to take Luke's hand. “Why wouldn't we know him, Luke?”
“Because he's not real!”
Liberty looks shocked. “What?”
“I don't have a husband, okay? This is just -- I don't even know what this is.”
Hunter's eyes widen at Luke's outburst, the room falling silent, his words ringing out.
“Oh my god. Are you guys getting a divorce?” Someone Luke can't see says from the living room and he turns to glare at them.
“You can't divorce someone when you haven't married them.” Luke spits out, scowling at Hunter and Liberty. “This joke isn't funny.”
He doesn't wait for Liberty to say anything, turning on his heels and slamming his way out of the apartment. He takes the steps two at a time, racing back to the car.
He doesn't know where to go now.
--
He might not know but the van apparently does and he finds himself in front of Chris' building. He can see the lights are on in his duplex and he relaxes a fraction. They may not have the most conventional relationship but he knows Chris. That will be enough for now.
He climbs out, running up the path, sliding on the new fallen snow. He holds on to the railing, reaching the door without tumbling and he thinks maybe it's a sign of things turning around for him. He knocks three times, teeth starting to chatter from the cold.
Being cold means this isn't a dream which really just sucks.
The door opens and Luke meets Chris' surprised gaze. He smiles when he sees him, though, which makes Luke almost kiss him from relief.
“Luke. What in the world? Get inside.” Chris pulls him in and without thinking Luke hugs him. Chris tenses for a moment before returning the gesture, pulling back with a befuddled expression. “Are you okay?”
He's really sick of people asking him that question.
“No, I don't think I am.”
Chris looks really worried and it's so familiar that Luke can't help kissing him to keep that feeling going. There's no response from Chris when Luke touches their mouths together.
“This is new.”
Luke pulls back abruptly, gaze falling on the stairs to look up at a man he doesn't know, robe loosely tied, brown curly hair going in all directions. He gives Chris a look before walking down towards them. Luke notices that Chris' appearance is similar and he blinks a couple of times.
“Wait. I don't.” Chris was -- He turns to the guy whose smirking face Luke feels he should punch. “Are you sleeping with this guy?”
Chris' eyes go wide and he looks over at the guy before meeting Luke's glare. “Um...yeah.”
“Since when?”
Chris blinks, gives him the strangest look. “Are you serious?”
The other guy steps forward, standing next to Chris with enough intent that Luke realizes whatever this is didn't just happen. “I'm not exactly the jealous type --” Chris snorts but is ignored -- “but I don't particularly like it when other men fondle Chris. Especially exes. Exes who are seemingly happily married to someone I don't hate.”
Luke takes a step back. “So -- he's really --” He looks at Chris, shaking his head. “I'm really married?”
“Um...of course you are.”
“To Noah?”
“Yes.” Chris takes another step toward him, grips his arm tight and steers him to the couch. “You don't -- why would you ask?”
“I don't remember.”
“You don't remember?” The other guy asks, his face showing subtle signs of concern and there's another pair of people having silent conversations about him while he watches. Luke glances up at him and shakes his head.
“When I woke up this morning, I was dating Chris. I lived in a condo and drove a Jag. There was a party I was headed to and then I crash into a lamp post and I come to with a husband and kids and a life I don't even know.”
Chris puts a hand on his shoulder. “Okay. Back up. You had a car accident?”
Luke nods.
“Did you hit your head?”
“Of course I did. I had an accident!”
Chris glances up at the guy who's hovering now, his gaze fixed on Luke's face. “Reid.”
Reid just nods then heads up the stairs, stopping half-way to turn and point at Luke. “Do not move. I'm calling Noah then I'm coming back down to see what kind of damage we're dealing with.” He disappears and Luke looks over at Chris.
“He can -- he's a doctor?”
Chris frowns. “You don't remember Reid?”
Luke rolls his eyes. “I don't know my supposed husband and children, Chris. Of course I don't know this Reid guy.”
“Right. Sorry. Yes. He's a neurologist, actually.”
“And you two are...” He doesn't really know how to end that so he guesses, “Married? Dating?”
Chris shrugs, not looking right at Luke. “We don't -- there's no --” He sighs, glancing up the stairs before finally meeting Luke's eyes. “You call him my essential person.”
Luke blinks at Chris.
Of course he does.
--
It takes Luke ten minutes to decide that Reid is an ass. It takes him another ten to realize he's a really good doctor. Luke sits patiently (well, he only bitches a couple of times a minute so for him that's pretty good) while Reid checks his pupils, listens to his heart (which he has no idea what that has to do with his brain), and checks the cut on his head.
According to him, there isn't any significant injury, at least nothing that would account for Luke's amnesia or whatever is going on. He gives Luke a suspicious glare when he says that. Like Luke is making it up.
He thinks he should hate the guy. Even if he's married and no longer with Chris, it was just this morning, at least in Luke's head, that they were together. Plus, he thinks Luke's a liar or something, so. He should want to hit the guy.
But damn if he doesn't actually begrudgingly like the son of a bitch. It's probably the way he runs his hand over Chris' head as he walks by him and the look Chris gives him that makes Luke actually not hate him completely. He'd never fooled himself into thinking he was in love with Chris.
But Chris had been his friend. He likes his friends happy.
Reid is talking into his phone, back turned to him and Chris.
“You guys have a strange friendship.”
Luke raises an eyebrow. “Really?”
Chris nods. “Yeah. You mostly tolerate him because of Noah...but you've told me on more than one occasion that you like Reid more than you will admit to him. Ever.”
At the mention of Noah, Luke tenses, searching Chris' eyes when he asks, “Did we break up because of Reid or Noah?”
He gets a smile, the flash of dimples. “Neither. You and I were finished long before you met Noah. As for Reid, you were --”
“And Noah really is my husband?”
Chris nods again. “I don't think that's going to change no matter how many times you ask, Luke.”
Luke lets his head fall forward, cradling it in his hands. “It's so surreal, Chris. I have a husband. Kids. A house, probably. I don't know this life.”
“It's a good life.”
When he looks up, Chris is smiling. “When we were together, there was always something, missing, I guess is the word. And you weren't unhappy. But...”
Luke nods because that is a fact he knows.
“You're happy.”
“I am?”
Chris grins. “Yes. You are. You have great kids. You're doing what you always loved to do. And then there's Noah.”
Luke flashes to blue eyes and that killer smile. His stomach does a flip. “There's Noah.”
“He's hot.”
Luke laughs for the first time since he woke up in this strange world.
There's the smallest burst of warmth in his chest when the bell rings and Reid walks toward the door to open it. He doesn't understand anything but he knows Chris.
He wouldn't lie.
Noah fills up the doorway, gaze finding Luke and his face loses its sharpness, tension fading away as he lights up. “Hi.”
Some instinct he doesn't know makes him get up and reach for Noah, hugging him, tightening his hold when Noah sighs deeply. “I'm sorry I took off like that. It's just --” He pulls away and points to his head. “This is all, you know?”
Noah nods, squeezes his waist once before dropping his hands. “I get that you don't know this life. Reid explained that what you remember is back when you were dating Chris?”
They sit down and Luke retells Noah everything about waking up that morning single and in a completely different life. He watches Noah take it all in, nodding and touching Luke's hand when it gets too confusing for him to talk. It's like being grounded, the feel of Noah's hand on him. It's something his body knows even if Luke doesn't.
Reid looks down at the notes he's been taking while Luke talked. “So, last you remember was -- 2013? That's almost a decade.”
Luke adds it up in his head, sharp intake of air making everyone look at him. “Sorry. It's just. I'm in my thirties, Jesus.”
There's a pause and then Chris starts laughing, head shaking as he looks at a smirking Reid. “Well, at least his personality is the same.”
Luke meets Noah's smiling eyes, feels it deep in his gut and swallows hard.
--
Reid says Luke is fine. At least physically, anyway. That whatever is going on is probably due to post trauma. The accident had scrambled some of his memories. They would come back eventually though Reid couldn't predict when. He wasn't calling it amnesia.
“You aren't lost to yourself. Just confused. It'll pass.”
Luke wishes he could be that confidant. Noah fiddles with the radio station to fill in the silent car ride as Luke pulls out his wallet, looking at his driver's license for the nth time. It had been the first thing Chris had made him look at.
Luke Snyder-Mayer.
The car stops, making Luke glance up and he sees the house, lit up from the inside. He wishes that he would get a flash of this life so he could know he wasn't crazy. But he gets nothing. Not from the house. Not from the man next to him. Not from anything.
“It'll come back.”
Luke smiles softly at the sureness in Noah's voice. “I hope so.” And he does. He wants to remember, to know that this whole existence is real. It's his.
Noah nods. “That's enough for now.”
He grabs for Luke's hand, twining their fingers together and it sends tingles up Luke's arm.
Luke misses it when Noah lets him go.
The door opens and a young teenage girl Luke doesn't know steps out, pulling on her coat. “I saw the car from the window.” She waves her hand at Noah when he reaches for his wallet. “You can get me later. It's okay.” Her eyes fall on Luke and she smiles, pats his shoulder as she walks by, “I'm really glad you're back, Mr. Snyder.”
“Thanks.”
He watches as she turns down the sidewalk and over one house, disappearing inside.
They walk into the quiet house and Luke stops short by the entrance to the living room. Noah pauses right behind him, heat radiating down Luke's back and he ignores it as best he can.
Donovan is sitting on the couch, watching television and looks up when he hears them. He smiles at Luke for the first time as he gets up from his seat, moving to Luke and hugging his waist. “You came back.”
Luke holds him tightly, heart expanding in his chest and he drops a kiss onto Donovan's soft hair. “Of course I did.” He can sense Noah watching him but he doesn't look. He's not ready for what it means that he wants to.
Noah's voice is soft when he grabs Donovan by the shoulders and steers him to the stairs. “Time for bed, kiddo. Dad will be here in the morning.” He sends Luke a quick look. “Come on.” He heads up the stairs with their son -- Jesus Christ -- and Luke keeps his gaze on them. They stop at the top and he hears a quick “Love you, Dad.”
Luke freezes, the words he should respond with stuck in his throat but luckily Noah hurries Donovan away. He bends at the waist, hands on his knees as he tries not to panic. After a minute of deep breathing, he can stand again, taking off his coat and chucking it on a nearby chair.
He moves along the room, trying to get his bearings. There are pictures lining the walls and Luke studies them carefully. He smiles at the ones of the kids at different ages. He picks up the one of his sisters and brother -- it's blowing his mind how grown up they look. There's one of Aaron and a girl he doesn't know at all -- long, black hair. Gorgeous. It looks like a wedding photo.
“That was a nice day.”
He jumps at the sound of Noah's voice, turning to give him a guilty look. “Sorry.”
“For what? It's okay to want to know, Luke.” Noah is holding some blankets and a pillow.
“Are those for me?”
Noah looks down at his hands, smiles as he shakes his head. “Nope. These are for me. I figured you'd be more comfortable if I slept down here tonight. Or until, you know.”
Luke frowns, feeling horrible about the whole situation. “Noah. No. I can sleep down here. I don't want to take your bed.”
Noah shrugs. “It's your bed, too.” He meets Luke's stare and there's fear in his eyes but he seems to shake it off, motioning to a door on the opposite end of the room. “Besides, I've still got more presents to wrap. I'll be down here a while.”
He thinks for a moment before asking. “Do you need help?”
Noah's smile, slow and sweet, makes Luke's heart flutter and his stomach clench. He thinks he really likes it. “That would be great.”
--
Luke wakes up to a shaking bed and for a minute he thinks maybe it was all a dream.
“Merry Christmas, Daddy.”
He stifles the groan that he wants to give, pulls his head out from under the covers and stares up at the smiling face of his daughter. (He really doesn't think he's going to get used to that.)
She's smiling at him, reflection of his own face, and that's just too freaky to comprehend this early in the morning without coffee. “Merry Christmas, pumpkin.” It comes out naturally and he pauses as he says it but the grin he gets tell him that was the right thing to say.
There's another dip in the bed and Luke turns to find Donovan on his other side. “You remember yet, Dad?”
Luke shakes his head. “'Fraid not, kiddo.”
“He called me pumpkin, Donnie!”
Donovan gives him a probing look, one Luke thinks he must get from his other father before stating, “That's what you always call her. You sure you don't remember?”
There's two sets of eyes staring at him intently and he resists the urge to hide under the comforter. He's the adult in this equation.
“I'm sorry, guys. I wish I did.”
He really does. Because that would at least mean he wasn't insane. Or a time traveler or whatever.
“Okay, you two, that's enough. Let your father have some coffee first. You know better.” They look at each other and then back at Luke before nodding.
“Oh, yeah. Forgot.” Donovan giggles, climbing down from the bed.
Lucy struggles, almost falling, and Luke immediately scoots forward, leaning over the edge to hold her steady until she's got both feet on the ground. She kisses his cheek before running after her brother.
Noah is standing at the door with a mug in his hands, hiding his grin. He walks to the bed, sets the cup on the bedside table and leans down to kiss Luke. It's quick, an everyday gesture Luke supposes but his lips tingle after. He stares at Noah and sees when he realizes what he's done.
“Damn. I -- it's habit.”
Luke nods. “It's okay. I understand.”
Noah looks frustrated, not that Luke can blame him, because this has to be killing him. He backs away, motioning toward the door. “We'll wait until you come down, okay?”
He nods, watches him go with this strange sense of loss, and Luke thinks he needs to get it together.
He has two options: sulking about this situation he doesn't get or making the best of it until he does.
It's not like this life is bad.
He makes up his mind, grabbing his mug of coffee and heading into the bathroom to change.
Time to deal.
--
It's scary that what took him and Noah two hours to wrap the night before can all be unwrapped in less than twenty minutes. He sits on the couch, smiling wider and wider as presents are pulled out, exclaimed over. Each time Donovan or Lucy laughs it goes right to his chest. He knows what it's like -- these mornings -- from their end.
It's nice to know they were probably as enjoyable to his parents.
When Noah goes into the other room, Luke leans forward, his gaze on Donovan, waiting to see his reaction. It's as great as he wanted it to be, Donovan's eyes going wide when Noah returns with the bike he'd spent thirty minutes cursing at while putting together.
Luke found it really adorable, actually.
When the rush of opening the gifts is over, he surveys the room and sighs.
That's a lot of paper.
“Donovan, can you hand that one right there to your Dad?”
Luke blinks in surprise when he gets a present dropped on his lap. He glances at Noah who shrugs with a smile. “I know we said we weren't going to exchange any this year since we've got the big one-oh coming up but I know you, Snyder. There's no way you weren't getting me something.”
That sounds like him.
He chooses to ignore the panic at the “big one-oh” comment.
Noah flaps a hand at him and Luke laughs, opening the present. It's not heavy but it's not light either. He rips at the paper and stops when he sees the laptop box. He looks up at Noah.
“It's the one Hunter told you about. With that writing program you really wanted.” Noah's face seems flushed and Luke doesn't even know what to say.
Well, he does.
“Writing program?”
Noah nods. “You had such a hard time with the last one. I just wanted you to have whatever you needed.”
He wrote...
He was a writer.
“I'm a writer.”
The kids look at him and Donovan nods. “Best writer in the world.”
“Yep.” Lucy echoes with a large smile.
It's too much at once and he wants to flee.
This isn't supposed to be his life.
“Daddy, this one is for you from all of us.” Lucy hauls a huge box over, with Donovan's help. “We bought it together.”
Noah grins so wide that Luke has to blink. He opens the box, taking his time with it and Luke is vibrating by the time he has his hand inside. “Oh my god, come on.”
Noah laughs and pulls the gift out, cutting off when he sees the camera in his hand. He meets Luke's eyes. “Babe. No. You didn't.”
Luke starts to say that he hadn't but then -- he probably had. He makes an apologetic face. “What is it?”
“New camera I wanted.” He's like a little kid, flipping buttons and switches, his hand caressing the gift with a gentle touch. He pulls Lucy closer, kissing her cheek as she laughs. Then reaches for Donovan, doing the same and receiving a “Oh, come on, Dad.” He gives Luke that huge grin and leans forward, brushes his mouth over Luke's cheek. “Thank you.”
The doorbell rings before Luke can find the words to respond. He wants to touch Noah. Badly. It's just -- it's unexpected.
“How are my favorite pair of monsters this morning?”
Luke's eyes widen and he gets up, seeing Casey walk into the room and straight at Noah, hugging him hard. “Merry Christmas, man.” He pulls back, his face falling slightly when he looks at Noah. He glances over at Luke, smiling cautiously when he catches Luke's freaked out expression. “Hey. You okay?”
Noah shakes his head.
Maddie walks in and grins at Luke. Maggie (her face is exactly the same even at this age) follows Donovan into the room, waving at Luke. “Merry Christmas, Uncle Luke.”
Luke waves, his eyes falling on the little boy Maddie is holding on her hip.
Noah motions to Luke, pushing Casey into the kitchen. “Why don't you two go in there and talk.” Before Casey can protest, Luke nods fast, grabbing his best friend's hand and hauling him into the other room. Once there, he turns and clings to him.
“Whoa. Okay. What the hell is going on? Are you okay?”
Luke shakes his head against Casey's shoulders and tries to keep everything he's been bottling up at bay.
Casey is here.
That's all he needs for the moment.
--
Casey stares at him for a good ten minutes when Luke tells him he can't remember his life. He thinks it's a joke until Noah walks in to get some drinks for the kids and confirms it for him. The sad tone in Noah's voice must be convincing because Casey just sits with a plop at the table. Luke takes the seat next to him and leans on his shoulder.
“Shit.”
“Exactly.”
Casey sighs. “So all you know is -- back when you worked for your father? Nothing else?”
Luke blinks at him.
Casey's eyes open wide. “Oh. Crap. Noah didn't tell you yet?”
“I think he's trying not to push me. Scared that it might make things worse. Reid said I'd remember on my own... I don't work at World Wide anymore?”
“Not for almost ten years now actually. You quit.”
“I quit?”
“Yeah. Just decided to do something else with your life.”
“Writing.” He can hear the note of wonder in his own voice. It's something he'd dreamed off, kept to himself.
Casey grinned. “Eventually. You woke up one morning and decided to save yourself. And well, some of us, too.” His friend reaches over to hug him. “You're happy, man. You and Noah are -- well, you're kind of stupid about each other and make me sick. Seriously. Disgusting.”
Luke grins at that.
He can imagine it actually.
“This is really my life?”
Casey pauses, raises an eyebrow as he nods. “Yes.”
It's not possible. “I just -- I can't believe that.”
“Why not?”
“Casey, come on. This is me. I was never the guy that this happened to.”
“You can't be serious. Luke. You deserve everything you have.”
Luke shakes his head. He wasn't supposed to get the happy ending. Nothing in his life had been that easy.
“It's not -- I mean, who gets it all? Not me.”
“It wasn't like this dropped into your lap, Luke. You worked for the life you have. You and Noah... dude. Listen to me. I was there the day you met, okay? I saw the look on your face from across the room. ”
Luke snorts. “So I meet the love of my life, start writing and end up in this fantastic life with two incredible kids? Me? Luke Snyder?”
Casey looks at him, nods once. “That's more simply than I would have put it but essentially, yes. You. Luke Snyder.”
He can feel the hope rising inside and he gives Casey a probing look.
“This is real? Really real?”
Casey grins at him, one hand at the back of Luke's head and squeezes gently. “This is your life, Luke Snyder.”
It's so ridiculous that Luke laughs, feels it go through him and starts to believe.
--
They wind their way up the farm's driveway slowly. There are way too many cars parked near the house. Luke wonders how many people come to these family events now. Who brings what person. He's not sure he wants to know and thinks that maybe they can celebrate at their house. Alone.
He doesn't think he can handle all his family. There are things he won't know and they'll freak out and ask questions.
“Noah?”
“Hmm?” He glances over at Luke as he undoes his seat belt.
“You think it'll be okay if we don't say anything to the family?”
Noah studies his face then nods his agreement. “If that's what you need, sure. Just -- if you get in trouble -- nudge me. I'll come rescue you.”
Luke grins. “My hero.”
Noah blushes and Luke likes that look on him, loves that he did it. The kids are out of the car already, halfway up the walk and they get out too, grabbing the bags of presents from the trunk and following them in.
It's what he remembers it being.
Too much noise and people hugging and talking over each other. Asking questions he doesn't like. There are several new faces and he politely returns any greetings as generally as he can from them. But the ones he does know are so different in some cases that he can't even begin to figure out how to act.
Ethan -- who is almost as tall as Luke -- hugs him before lunging at Noah and talking his ear off about some film he saw. Faith introduces her new boyfriend -- he guesses -- and gives him suspicious looks when he doesn't seem to react the way he should. Natalie kisses his cheek, shows him her new artwork and she's so beautiful, it takes his breath away.
His Grandma Emma is feeding Lucy from her secret stash of cookies and Donovan found a corner where he's talking up a storm with a little boy Luke doesn't recognize at all. It's so surreal and wonderful that he doesn't know what he should do.
Noah stands next to him, one hand on his back, holding him steady when he sees his parents across the room from him.
Leaning into each other, laughing quietly and when his dad bends down to kiss his mother, Luke turns away, catching Noah's worried stare. “I -- sorry. When did they...?” He motions behind him and Noah looks at his parents, his face softening. It almost seems like he's contemplating the move before he reaches out to touch Luke. It's a comfort thing, Luke knows that, but it doesn't stop the heat from uncoiling in his stomach.
“It's been a while. Before we met, actually.” He wraps one arm around Luke's waist, coming to stand behind him and leans his chin on Luke's shoulder. “They remarried after Lucy was born.”
Luke takes a deep breath and says nothing.
“Yeah. You've never been sure how you feel about it.”
“What about you?” he asks and for some reason it's important to know the answer.
“Me? I'm a big fan of true love. So.” Noah hides his face in Luke's neck, drops a kiss there and Luke leans into it, biting his lip to keep from smiling.
--
Noah can't be real.
Luke decides this as he watches Noah make his little sister laugh or when he sits at the table while his grandmother cooks, talking quietly as she works. His mother seems pretty taken by him. His dad ruffles Noah's hair as he walks by, repeating it when he passes Luke.
It's not just Noah. The kids -- their kids -- are pretty damn amazing. Lucy sits on Lucinda's lap when she arrives with John. Makes his grandmother smile, her whole face lighting up like he's rarely ever seen. He's pretty sure she's got everyone wrapped around her little finger.
But it's Donovan that makes Luke react the most. He's quiet, which isn't surprising with how not Lucy is, and he stays to the side, helping when he's asked, playing with his cousins. He seems to bring a calm to whatever he does and Luke is pretty sure he doesn't get that from him.
But --
There's something in his eyes that makes Luke's chest clench. Like he isn't sure that it's all real. He makes a note to sit Noah down and ask about it.
He has so many questions about this life. He needs a notebook to list them all.
Luke finds the opportunity to ask the one that he thinks is the most important.
He's setting the table with Noah, adding the silverware as Noah places the plates when he finally gets the courage to ask.
“So.”
Noah pauses to look up at him, his lips turning up slightly, and waits for Luke to continue.
“How did we meet?”
Noah's grins at the question and shrugs. “We met because of work. Sort of. You actually kind of yelled at me when we were introduced.” He laughs at the way Luke's mouth drops open. “Well, it was more like you were annoyed at me. You told me I took too long.” Noah snorts. “Then, you kissed me. It was a pretty interesting first meeting.”
Luke gives him an incredulous look. “Not to mention creepy.”
Noah walks toward him, crowding into his space and Luke forgets his hands are full, tries to grab at Noah's shirt. Noah takes away the forks and spoons, setting them on the table. Luke pulls him in closer, watches his eyes darken when he does and it's like it wasn't before. He knows Noah. He's pretty sure he'll fall for him. That it would be the best and scariest thing to happen to him ever.
Noah leans his forehead on Luke's and his eyes fall closed. “You were creepily cute.”
It startles a laugh from Luke as he watches Noah's eyelashes flutter against the feel of his breath. “So it was love at first sight is what you're saying?”
There's a huge grin on Noah's face and Luke resists the urge to lick his mouth, to kiss him.
“What can I say. I'm irresistible.”
Luke brings his arms around Noah's back, pulls him in and lets himself fall.
--
He wants to stay with his family and at the same time really needs to be alone with Noah.
When they finally leave, Lucy pliant and sleepy against his shoulder, Donovan yawning every few minutes, he gives his mother a kiss and she looks into his eyes. “I don't know what's going on, sweetie, but it'll work out.” His dad smiles comfortingly from her side and Luke nods.
He's starting to think they're right.
The car ride is warm, the sounds of Donovan's soft snores and Lucy's breathing familiar somehow. He reaches for Noah's hand and twines their fingers, settles them on Noah's thigh.
It takes thirty minutes to get the kids changed and in bed. Lucy wakes up and Luke reads her a story to get her back down. She kisses his hand after he finishes then curls up on her side, eyes drooping closed. He shuts her door, steps lightly to Donovan's and watches Noah tuck him in bed. He turns when he hears Luke, motions for him to come in and steps out of the room, presumably to say good night to Lucy.
Luke runs his hand through Donovan's hair, smiles when his eyes open slightly, giving Luke a soft, “Night, Daddy.”
“Good night, cowboy.” He remembers his father saying the exact same thing to him and he can't help but repeat it.
Donovan turns toward the wall, his breathing steadying out and Luke leaves quietly. Noah is in the hall and raises his hand when the door is halfway shut. “He doesn't like it closed.”
Luke nods and follows Noah down the stairs, into the kitchen, feeling like he's waiting for something. Noah puts away the dishes, starts the coffee and talks softly about nothing and everything. Dinner plans they had with Maddie and Casey for the beginning of the week. Natalie agreeing to babysit for New Years. His meeting with Hunter about some foundation.
He stops and looks behind him, an apology visible on his face. Luke doesn't want that.
“It's okay. I like that you talk to me like I'm -- well, me.”
Noah's eyes crinkle at the edges and Luke feels it in his gut. This is him. This is what he'd been waiting for. He doesn't know anything else but he knows that.
“This is hard for you.”
Noah looks at him, brow raised in question.
Luke stands up, walks to where Noah is standing with the mugs ready, and leans against the edge of the counter. “Me not remembering. It's got to be frustrating.”
Noah gives him that slow burner smile from earlier, makes a shiver run down Luke's back. “We've been through a lot worse, I think. This we can handle.” He pours coffee into a mug, handing it to Luke and winks when Luke takes it. It smells like his favorite. “Besides, it just means we get to fall in love all over again. I'm okay with that.”
Luke stills for only a second then slowly sets the cup on the counter. Noah's eyes widen when Luke slides toward him. He doesn't think, just reaches up to cup Noah's face and kisses him, mouth opening when Noah groans like he's been waiting for this -- which Luke supposes he has -- and forgets it all when they touch. Noah is warm pressed up against him, hands flexing over Luke's shoulders and down his back, clutching onto his hips.
Luke pulls, moves toward the stairs and meets resistance. He kisses Noah harder, tries again and when Noah stays in place, he makes a frustrated noise. He feels the vibration of Noah's laugh run under his fingers and Luke scowls.
“Baby, I need to turn off the coffee.” Noah kisses his mouth once, twice then leans back, flicks a switch. Luke's fingers are bunched in his shirt, and as soon as Noah is finished, he tightens his hold, pushes up on his toes and licks his way into Noah.
It's a blur of clothes, skin, teeth and hands. He doesn't know how they make it up the stairs and onto their bed. Luke is pretty sure it was purely luck they didn't kill themselves. All he knows is Noah's weight on him, Noah's hands touching his face, his waist, Noah's mouth on his cock and Luke arches up, drags a hand through Noah's hair and grips hard.
Noah takes him to the brink, slowing down to make it last and when Luke thinks he can't take anymore, he pulls away. There's a whine coming from Luke as Noah's heat disappears and he opens his eyes to say something, anything, to bring him back when he feels Noah's hands spread his thighs apart. Then Noah pushes two fingers in and Luke loses all coherent thought.
“Nnnnggghh.”
His body responds like it knows this, Noah's fingers in him, building with pressure and angles and speed. Luke opens his eyes, finds Noah looking up at him, open mouth against his skin and it's too much. Luke bucks up, hisses out please and now and baby. Then it's the blunt head of Noah's cock, burn so good, fingers digging into the sheets, head thrown back against the bed, Noah's mouth pressed against his throat and he thrusts up into it until it's just them.
The tangle of limbs, mouths fused on sweat slick skin, the taste he recognizes even if he doesn't know it...
--
Some time later, Noah tries to move off him and Luke grips at his back, makes him stay where he is.
“I'm crushing you, babe.”
Luke sighs, snuggles up into the warmth, shakes his head. “I really don't care.” He strokes down Noah's back, feels the shiver that runs through him and smiles, kisses Noah's temple.
“Is it always like that?”
“I like to think so.” Noah's voice is laced with humor and Luke slaps at his shoulder.
“This is all -- it can't be perfect.”
Noah snorts, drops a kiss onto his chest before glancing up, blue eyes dancing. “It's not. We're not perfect, Luke. We fight. We have problems. Families that get in the way. Kids that don't behave. Days that make us cranky and bitchy. Jobs that leave us frustrated and we take it out on each other. But at the end of the day, we're here.”
“And we're happy?”
“I think we are.”
Luke nods, rubs his cheek against Noah's head, feels the fog of sleep claiming him. “We are.”
He feels Noah smile on his skin.
“I really love you, don't I?”
Noah chuckles, the sensation running through Luke. “I hope so since I'm hopeless about you.”
“This was what I never knew I wanted.” Luke closes his eyes, falling into the waves of exhaustion. “I never knew but now...”
Noah's fingers wrap around his wrist, bring his hand up for a kiss, whispering into the skin. “I'm here, baby. I always will be.”
He knows that, he thinks and lets the darkness take him.
--
He doesn't want to open his eyes.
He knows what he'll see when he does.
“Luke.”
It's Bob's voice and he scrunches his eyes shut, tries to keep the grief from crushing his chest in.
“Open your eyes.”
He does.
There's his mother looking relieved and his father trying not to seem as worried as he is. He glances down at his body, still in the suit, and around the hospital room.
He meets Bob's happy gaze and wants to punch anything in sight.
“Welcome back, son.”
|Part Three|
♥
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2010-12-25 12:30 am (UTC)AND OH MY FUCKING GOSH KAT!
I'VE READ THIS PART SIX TIMES, NOT EVEN KIDDING. INCLUDING JUST NOW WHEN I READ IT AGAIN BEFORE TYPING UP THIS COMMENT.
ALSDA;SIJDAUSHFAJFOISFISUHDFLSDJFOISFIUHSD;OFIJSOIFSDUIFHSDH
KL;ASDJFIDSHJFKUSDHFSDJFIUSHDFISJDFOISJDFOISJDOFISJDOIFJSDIJ
LSDUHFISDUHYFISDUFOSDJFISUHFSDFIOSHIUSDNJVOIHIFUJIOFJSDIHSID
LSKDUFJHODSIFISHDGIKSDJFISDHGIUSHGSJFOSIDFIUSDHSDJFIUSDHIDSJ
THAT PRETTY MUCH SUMS THIS CHAPTER UP. BUT I'M GONNA KEEP TYPING AND MAKING COMMENTS ANYWAY.
OMG THE OPENING SCENE WHERE LUKE WAKES UP AND THEN NOAH IS THERE AND KINDA TEASES HIM AND THEN TOUCHES HIM AND LUKE CAN'T UNDERSTAND WHY HIS BODY IS AUTOMATICALLY RESPONDING TO HIS TOUCH EVEN THOUGH HE DOESN'T KNOW HIM IS BRILLIANT!
AND THEN THE KIDS! OMG SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO CUTE! AND THEIR NAMES! DONOVAN AND LUCY! AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!! LOVE LOVE LOVE! AND I CAN JUST PICTURE LITTLE LUCY BEING A LITTLE LUKE, AND LITTLE DONOVAN BEING A LITTLE NOAH (AND OMG DID YOU NAME HIM DONOVAN BECAUSE THAT SO CALLED "FAMILY" THAT NOAH APPARENTLY HAS IN OAKDALE IS DUSTY?!?!?!?! OMGGGGGG)! BUT OMG LUKE WHY ARE YOU LEAVING??! NOOOOO! GO BACK!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA OMG HIM SHOWING UP AT CHRIS'S PLACE TO FIND HIM AND REID IN THEIR ROBES TOGETHER IS HILARIOUS! AND THEN REID WALKING IN ON LUKE KISSING HIM AND I CAN ONLY IMAGINE HIS EXPRESSION (BLANK, OF COURSE :P). OMG. BEST REACTION EVER. I LOVE THE WAY THAT YOU WRITE REID! AND I LOVE LOVE LOVE YOUR CHREID AND THE THOUGHT OF THEM MAKES ME ALL EXCITED AND AWWWW AND AIDFJLAISDJIJDKDSJKISJDFKSJDFJSD!!! AND OMG DYING AT THE "ESSENTIAL PERSON" PART! HAAAAAAAAA!!!
AND HAHAHAHA AT CHRIS HAVING TO TELL LUKE 94887459874598454 TIMES THAT YES NOAH IS HIS HUSBAND AND HE DOES HAVE A FAMILY. HAHAHA AWWW. POOR LUKE STILL DOESN'T BELIEVE THAT HE DESERVES IT! BUT I LOVE WHEN NOAH COMES IN AND HIS ALL SHY AND "HI" ALL OVER THE PLACE AND NOAH JUST HAS TO SMILE AT HIM AND HE FEELS BETTER AND HE DOESN'T KNOW WHY HE FEELS THAT WAY BUT HE JUST DOES! GAH! THEIR DARN FUCKING PERFECT CONNECTION THAT IS PERFECT IN CANON AND AU. OMG.
OMG THAT SCENE WHEN THEY GET BACK HOME FROM CHREID'S PLACE TO SEE THE KIDS AGAIN AND DONOVAN RUNS UP AND HUGS LUKE AROUND THE WAIST! OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGG KILL ME NOW! I CAN ONLY IMAGINE WHAT NOAH IS THINKING RIGHT NOW...WITH LUKE NOT REMEMBERING, YET STILL TRYING TO ASSUME THE ROLE OF BEING A FATHER TO THEM TO NOT DISAPPOINT THEM, EVEN THOUGH HE DOESN'T REMEMBER/KNOW THEM AT ALL. OMG THAT IS SO LUKE, AND I BET NOAH'S HEART IS JUST MELTING AT THE THOUGHT OF IT, BUT IT'S ALSO REALLY HARD ON HIM BECAUSE HE DOESN'T REMEMBER ANYTHING! AND IT'S RIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS, SO I BET NOAH IS KINDA DYING INSIDE A;SIJDOAISJHDIUASHJDIUAJSIUDJ
OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
AND THEN NOAH GOES AND GETS A PILLOW AND BLANKET TO SLEEP DOWNSTAIRS AND IT'S CHRISTMAS EVE AND GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!
OMG CHRISTMAS MORNING! WITH LUCY AND DONNIE WAKING UP LUKE IN THE BED! AWWWWWWWWWWWWW!! AND LUKE NATURALLY CALLING LUCY PUMPKIN AND LUCY GETTING ALL EXCITED ABOUT IT!!! OMG. AND THEN NOAH SCOLDING THEM FOR BOTHERING HIM BEFORE HE'S HAD HIS COFFEE!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH OMG THAT IS SO LUKE! AND I CAN SEE NOAH DOING THAT! AND THEN NOAH BRINGING HIS COFFEE OVER TO HIM AND THEN AUTOMATICALLY KISSING HIM BECAUSE IT'S SO NATURAL AND HE DOESN'T EVEN REALIZE THAT HE SHOULDN'T AND LUKE DOESN'T BACK OFF BUT JUST LETS IT HAPPEN. AIDHASHDASIJDASHDKUASHDASHDHFUJAHFIUDJSNDFJSDJF
SDJFKDSHFHSDFKSDNFSDNJFKJDSNKFJSDNKFJNSDKJFNDKSJNFSDKJF
FJSNDKLFJNSDKJFSDJHFNBSKDJFNKSDJNFKSDJNFKSJDNFKSJDNFKJSDF
NOT ENOUGH KEYSMASH IN THE WORLD! OMG.
no subject
Date: 2010-12-25 01:08 am (UTC)AND THEN CHRISTMAS MORNING AND HE'S WATCHING HIS KIDS OPEN UP THEIR PRESENTS AND HE'S ALL WARM-HEARTED AND CUTE AND PROUD AND EVERYTHING WATCHING THEM AND HE'S ALL HAPPY THAT THEIR HAPPY EVEN THOUGH HE DOESN'T REMEMBER THEM! AWWWWWWWW! AND THEN NOAH GETS HIM THE LAPTOP WITH THE WRITING PROGRAM (AND HE'S ALL FREAKING OUT ABOUT THE TENTH ANNIVERSARY COMMENT FROM NOAH!) AND HE CAN'T BELIEVE THAT HE'S A WRITER BECAUSE IT'S ANOTHER ONE OF THOSE THINGS THAT HE NEVER KNEW THAT HE WOULD BE ABLE TO BE. AND THE KIDS CALLING HIM THE BEST WRITER IN THE WORLD AND LUKE IS STILL ALL DUMBFOUNDED ABOUT THE WHOLE THING! AND THEN NOAH GETS THE CAMERA FROM THEM AND GETS ALL EXCITED AND KISSES THEM ALL ON THE CHEEK AND GIVES THEM THANK YOUS (EVEN KNOWING THAT LUKE DOESN'T REMEMBER GIVING IT TO HIM, HE GIVES HIM ONE ANYWAY AND TELLS HIM THANK YOU ANYWAY AND OMG I DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE)!
AND THEN CASEY AND MADDIE AND MAGGIE AND THE OTHER CHILD COMES IN AND AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!! THE IMAGE OF THAT FAMILY IS SO FREAKING CUTE! I CAN'T STAND IT!
OH MAN...AND THEN THEY GET TO THE FARM AND LUKE SEEING ALL OF HIS FAMILY MEMBERS A LOT OLDER THAN HE REMEMBERS AND THEN ALSO NOT RECOGNIZING PEOPLE. OMG. I CAN ONLY IMAGINE. AND THEN HE SEES HIS PARENTS TOGETHER AND HE KINDA FREAKS OUT BUT THEN NOAH IS THERE AND CALMS HIM DOWN AND EXPLAINS THINGS TO HIM AND THEN THAT IMAGE OF NOAH STANDING BEHIND LUKE WITH HIS ARMS AROUND HIM AND HIS CHIN ON HIS SHOULDER. OMG. AND THEN NOAH KISSES INTO HIS NECK AND MAKES THAT COMMENT ABOUT BELIEVING IN TRUE LOVE. OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG KAT I CUSSING HATE YOU. OMG. *CRIES FOREVER*
AND THEN LUKE THINKING THAT NOAH CAN'T BE REAL. OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG HOW MANY TIMES HAVE WE ALL SAID THAT ABOUT HIM?!! FOR REAL. UN-FUCKNG-REAL NOAH MAYER. ALL THE TIME. AND I LOVE LUKE ASKING HOW THEY MET AND NOAH TELLING HIM. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA OF COURSE LUKE WOULD BE MAD AT HIM IN THE BEGINNING AND THEN JUST FUCKING KISS NOAH OUT OF NOWHERE. HAHAHAHA AWWWW. OH BOYS.
AND CAN I JUST SAY THAT I LOVE HOW YOU WROTE LUKE ALL FALLING IN LOVE WITH NOAH EVEN THOUGH HE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW HIM. AND HOW LUKE HAS LIKE NO RESERVATIONS OF LETTING NOAH TOUCH HIM, AND HE EVEN WANTS TO TOUCH AND KISS NOAH REALLY BADLY. I LOVE THAT. IT TAKES LUKE LIKE 0.345 SECONDS TO GET ALL TOUCHY FEELY WITH HIM AND WANT HIM AND UUUUUUUUUUUUGH BOYS ARE NOT REAL. THAT LINE ABOUT LUKE HUGGING NOAH AND THEN LETTING HIMSELF FALL...GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH KILL ME NOW I'M NEVER GONNA HAVE THAT EVER AND LUKE AND NOAH MAKE ME JEALOUS TO NO FUCKING END. GAH.
no subject
Date: 2010-12-25 01:08 am (UTC)AND THEN YOU GOTTA SHOW THEM FUCKING TUCKING IN THEIR KIDS AND I WANT TO KILL YOU KAT. FOR REAL. BUT THEN YOU WOULD NEVER WRITE BRILLIANT THINGS AGAIN OR CONTINUE BEING AN AMAZING FRIEND TO ME IN GENERAL SO I CAN'T DO THAT SO INSTEAD I SETTLE FOR FLAILING AND SCREAMING AND THAT TAKES THE EDGE OFF.
THE KITCHEN SCENE, KAT. THE MOTHER FUCKING KITCHEN SCENE. OMG. LOVE LOVE LOVE. HOW LUKE IS JUST DYING TO KISS HIM AND THEN HE DOES AND THEY ARE FREAKING MAKING OUT AND LUKE WANTS MORE BUT OF FUCKING COURSE NOAH HAS TO TURN THE COFFEE OFF BECAUSE HE'S A BOYSCOUT AND UNREAL AND OMG I DIED.
AND THE SEX AND THE AFTERGLOW. NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
THAT SCENE AFTER THEY SLEEP TOGETHER IS OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG CAN'T HANDLE IT! ABOUT LUKE NOT CARING THAT NOAH IS CRUSHING HIM AND ABOUT HOW THE SEX WAS FUCKING AMAZING AND BLEW LUKE'S MIND AND THEN NOAH TELLING THEM HOW THEIR RELATIONSHIP IS NOT PERFECT BUT THEY ARE STILL SO HAPPY TOGETHER AND YOU CAN TELL THAT LUKE IS TOTALLY IN LOVE WITH HIM ALREADY. AND NOAH TELLING HIM HE'S ALWAYS GONNA BE THERE FOR HIM....GAFHASOIJDASIHJDIAUSJDILASJDIAJD
ODMGFOGMOIDUHFAIDJFIUAHSDFIAUSHDIUHASIDUHASIUDHAISUHDASIU
OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG
AND OMG KAT AND THEN THAT LAST PART AND YOU FIND OUT THAT IT WAS ALL A DREAM AND LUKE WAS JUST PASSED OUT AND NONE OF IT WAS REAL. OMG NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
FIX IT! FIX IT RIGHT FUCKING NOW! GAH ACK UGH EEK!!!!!
no subject
Date: 2010-12-27 07:28 am (UTC)AHAHAHAHAHAHA. I JUST. YOU. I HEART YOU SO MUCH.
THE KITCHEN SCENE, KAT. THE MOTHER FUCKING KITCHEN SCENE. OMG. LOVE LOVE LOVE. HOW LUKE IS JUST DYING TO KISS HIM AND THEN HE DOES AND THEY ARE FREAKING MAKING OUT AND LUKE WANTS MORE BUT OF FUCKING COURSE NOAH HAS TO TURN THE COFFEE OFF BECAUSE HE'S A BOYSCOUT AND UNREAL AND OMG I DIED.
That scene made me laugh when it came out cause ohmygod Noah is ridic, sometimes! LOL.
LMAO. SORRY! SORRY! I MADE IT BETTER!
no subject
Date: 2010-12-27 07:25 am (UTC)I don't think Luke will ever NOT fall in love with Noah. It will happen repeatedly and for all eternity no matter what.
Amen.
:D :D :D
WE ALL NEED A NOAH OHMYGOD.
no subject
Date: 2010-12-27 07:21 am (UTC)(AND OMG DID YOU NAME HIM DONOVAN BECAUSE THAT SO CALLED "FAMILY" THAT NOAH APPARENTLY HAS IN OAKDALE IS DUSTY?!?!?!?! OMGGGGGG
Caught that did ya? :D
ALSO -- I will always write CHREID. ALWAYS. They belonged together damn it! (Well, technically, they ARE together but like with BOTH of them alive and lots of sex!)
no subject
Date: 2010-12-27 03:27 am (UTC)\O/!!! Donovan!! Great name :)
“I'm not exactly the jealous type --” Chris snorts but is ignored -- “but I don't particularly like it when other men fondle Chris. Especially exes. Exes who are seemingly happily married to someone I don't hate.”
Oh Reid. *mwaa* The "someone I don't hate" is specifically my favorite, lol. Chreid!!!
Um... too much more to quote and squee about. But I think someone else has that covered ;)
You are evil, btw. Much more evil than the movie!
no subject
Date: 2010-12-27 07:45 am (UTC)I love that name, too!
So much love for Reid here. Dude rocks hardcore.
Yay for the quotability even if there was too much to quote. You can tell me your favorite later.
I am totes evil, yo.