So I have this friend...
Mar. 18th, 2011 11:32 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
freakykatI've known them since I was fifteen years old and I love them a lot. I think they are one of the best people I've ever met. We've been through A LOT together in seventeen years.
It seems like I'm losing them. This person has a habit of picking the wrong people to want to enter into relationships with and they sometimes lose themselves to that particular goal. It's nothing new. Has been happening for years. They can never see what's in front of them and tend to chase the elusive.
(For example the person they are currently dating will be moving to another state to start graduate school. They've only been dating a few weeks. My friend wants a committment that this other person can't give and the more they say no, the more my friend wants it because they are stupid.)
And even though I spent years (I'm talking YEARS) a little bit in love with them (and probably will ALWAYS be a little bit in love with them), I dealt with them either pretending they don't see it or really just not seeing it. I'm okay with it and moved past it long ago.
The problem is that it's never felt as personal and hurtful as it does right now that I've been pushed aside.
The thing is...I don't know what to do this time.
Because I just don't really care enough to hang in there until they get dumped (which inevitable they will) and they come to me for comfort/advice.
But I don't want to just end an seventeen year friendship like that. I just don't know how to approach them or even if I could, what I could say that won't piss them off.
*headdesk*
So, I'm just going to hide under my covers and cry and eat ice cream and write/read.
That sounds like a plan.
It seems like I'm losing them. This person has a habit of picking the wrong people to want to enter into relationships with and they sometimes lose themselves to that particular goal. It's nothing new. Has been happening for years. They can never see what's in front of them and tend to chase the elusive.
(For example the person they are currently dating will be moving to another state to start graduate school. They've only been dating a few weeks. My friend wants a committment that this other person can't give and the more they say no, the more my friend wants it because they are stupid.)
And even though I spent years (I'm talking YEARS) a little bit in love with them (and probably will ALWAYS be a little bit in love with them), I dealt with them either pretending they don't see it or really just not seeing it. I'm okay with it and moved past it long ago.
The problem is that it's never felt as personal and hurtful as it does right now that I've been pushed aside.
The thing is...I don't know what to do this time.
Because I just don't really care enough to hang in there until they get dumped (which inevitable they will) and they come to me for comfort/advice.
But I don't want to just end an seventeen year friendship like that. I just don't know how to approach them or even if I could, what I could say that won't piss them off.
*headdesk*
So, I'm just going to hide under my covers and cry and eat ice cream and write/read.
That sounds like a plan.
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no subject
Date: 2011-03-20 03:01 am (UTC)I'm not the best at advice, but this is based on what happened with me and my bff (who I've known for 11 years now and care for dearly). Distance helps and if you care for them just be there for your friend when they need you to be there. I know that being put to the side hurts, but I want to believe that it will be appreciated...
*hugs some more*