freakykat | NaNo Fic: What Is Undone (ATWT, Luke/Noah, AU)

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Title: What Is Undone
Author:

freakykat
Rating: R
Chapter: Part One
Pairing: Luke/Noah
Summary: Sometimes love is your only chance.
Disclaimer: Sadly I don’t own any of the boys I like to play with. All rights for the characters go to P&G, ATWT, JP, CG, etc.
Beta: The phenomenal and wonderful

mactwck who took this monster on! I love you and thank you so much my dearest.
W/C: 7500
Warnings: Attitudes that will piss you off, some violence, definite cursing...
Author’s Note: Um…so yeah. I wrote this. For NaNo. It’s EPIC. Like 64,000 words of EPIC. I’ve divided it into parts cause you know…EPIC. My eternal gratitude to

wouldbedorothy and

reilael who listened to me bitch and moan and rhapsodize about this for MONTHS. Oh, and of course, my WTB

frances_veritas who totally said I should post. To my readers that aren't in this fandom, please feel free to totally read it as if it were an original. You're opinions matter muchly to me. Thanks! I’ll be posting it every Friday and Wednesday. Enjoy! And feedback is yearned, loved and appreciated.

Story Note: What If? AU. What if when Lily fell down the stairs Luke did leave with Damien? And what if Damien sent Luke away to be “fixed”? Written for National Novel Writing Month and just recently finished. Final word count: 64,000 (This is my EPIC you guys!) It definitely veered a lot more toward the cracky/soapy than I had originally intended but well, it’s where it went. Shoddily researched but researched!

What Is Undone

“No! No! Stay away!” He pushed at Lily’s hands, trembling with fear and maybe just a bit of hate. She didn’t love him, wanted him to be someone else, and wanted to fix him, as if he were broken. His hand connected with her arm. He saw the moment it went wrong and watched her arms grasp for something, anything to steady her.

“Ahhh!” Lily screamed as her arms flew back, her feet leaving the ground. Luke reached for her, a second too late. He heard his own voice scream with hers.

“Mom!”

That moment replayed in his mind repeatedly.

Every time Luke closed his eyes, he could see his mother falling, like something out of a movie, slow and purposeful. He could see her horrified face as she lost her balance; hear the echoing sound when she hit the floor…

He had done that.

He had hurt his mother, and now she would most likely never wake up.

It took him more time than he could imagine running down the stairs to Lily’s side. “Mom! Mom!”

Damian held his arm tightly, trying to keep one hand on his son as he spoke into the phone. “There’s been an accident…”
Luke shook his head. It was an accident. He had never meant… “Mom. Please.”

The worst nightmare he had ever had couldn’t compare to this. The rest became a blur….ambulance, police, Holden’s face when he saw what had happened, the look he gave Damian…the quiet ride to the hospital.

The endless waiting to know what was in store. Dr. Hughes' face when he walked out and told them that Lily had very little brain activity. They needed to take the baby now. He was not sure if Lily would make it.

Luke sat with his grandmother, Lucinda, his head in her lap, eyes shut, tears straining to fall. When he had seen his little brother, had held him, talked to him, when Ethan’s little hand had grabbed Luke’s fingers, it had all been too much.

It was a miracle that Ethan was born beautiful and alive. Everyone said that his brother looked just like him when he was a baby. Luke tried not to cringe. Ethan was better off having no resemblance to Luke.

Even the small ray of hope that Ethan represented was not enough and when Lily didn’t wake up after a day, two days, two weeks, they knew she never would.

It would be a miracle if she did. Her brain seemed to be barely functioning, just keeping her alive. Surgery to relieve the pressure it didn’t seem to help. They had to prepare for the worst.

Every time Luke looked at his dad, Holden, the man who raised him, loved him, and accepted him, he would feel smaller, less worthy. Holden reassured him that he didn’t place any blame on him. He had repeatedly told Luke it was an accident. The lost look in his father’s eyes was all Luke could see. All he could understand.

Therefore, when Damian suggested Luke return with him to Malta…it seemed the logical thing to do. Lily was not waking up. Ever. His sisters and brother would never get a chance to hear her again. He would never be able to ask her for forgiveness. She would never be able to give it.

He had to go somewhere far away, where he couldn’t hurt anyone.

*

Luke could feel the intensity of Damian’s eyes on him. He sensed that the man, who called himself his father, wanted to say something but couldn’t. Maybe he didn’t know how. Luke was not sure exactly how to start to build anything between them. Every time Damian walked into Luke’s life, he left a trail of pain behind him.

That was something they had in common, leaving pain in their path.

Luke kept his eyes glued to the passing swirl of white lines outside his window. He concentrated on breathing, pushing away thoughts of his Dad’s face when he read his note. He would call him as soon as they landed in Malta.

“Luciano? Are you well?”

Luke turned his head, quietly answering with an, “I’m fine,” before returning his gaze out over the bare landscape, that now greeted him. They were far away from Oakdale, headed to a private airport to take Damian’s jet back to Italy.

The small sign with an airplane on it read one mile and Luke’s shoulder tensed involuntarily. He ignored the voice inside his head that warned him there was something wrong with this. Why hadn’t they left from Oakdale? Why couldn’t he call his Dad? Or his grandmother?

Damian had assured him that he could call from the plane, or when they landed. It would be less painful if he just left. Did Luke want to have another conversation with Holden about what happened and thus why he was leaving?

The thought of that conversation had been enough to get Luke to agree.

The car turned slowly into graveled path, Luke could make out through the tainted window the plane awaiting them, and just beyond, a square building. Starved Rock Airport was small and set a ways back from the main road.

It seemed strange to have a cloudless blue sky greet him, as he stepped out of the black town car and into the path, which would lead him away. Away from the mistakes, he had made. Away from the lives, he had ruined. Away from everything that had gone wrong. He felt like they should be leaving under the cover of night.

Luke took a deep breath, the only sound he could hear was the whir of the plane’s engine. He felt a hand on his back, the smallest of nudges, and when he nodded at Damian, he received a nod in return. Forcing one foot in front of the other, he walked toward the waiting stairs. He paused a moment, looking in the direction of Oakdale, letting those doubts in his head take over. When he closed his eyes, his mother’s face appearing, frozen in that moment when she realized she was falling. His feet moved on their own into the plane.

Wherever they were headed - it was better than here.

*

Holden Snyder had no clue what the hell Damian was thinking, when he came back to town. As always, he had managed to damage Luke and Lily. Maybe beyond repair this time. As was always his pattern, he had disappeared. Gone. Without a trace.

Rubbing his face with one hand, he rolled his shoulder before opening the door to the house. He didn’t want Luke to see him upset. Luke would assume it was him Holden was upset with, and the kid had enough to worry about. Once he was sure he looked calm, he walked into the house calling out Luke’s name. Mama said he was here. It was silent; fear, deep and resounding, went up Holden’s spine.

Luke was never quiet.

“Luke!”

He ran up the stairs and into Luke’s room. The closet doors where open, clothes strewn on the floor, some empty hangers catching his eye. He saw the half-opened drawers of the dresser and he yanked them open fully. They were empty or almost empty. Holden’s stomach churned, feeling that fear settle more firmly in its pit.

Maybe he had headed back to the farm. Grabbing his cell phone, he began to dial when a paper on Luke’s desk caught his eye. He recognized Luke’s handwriting and with trembling fingers read it:

Dad -

By the time you find this, I will be gone. Please don’t worry. Damian promised that he would take care of me while we were away. I just think it’ll be easier for everyone if I wasn’t around. If I wasn’t a reminder of everything that happened. I’ll be okay. And when I feel better, I’ll come home. Give Nat, Faith, and Ethan a hug for me. Tell Mom that I love her.

I love you, too, Dad.

Your son,

Luke.

Holden raced out of the house. Damian had taken Luke and something was telling him, some instinct he always had when it came to Luke, that wherever it was, it was not a going to help his son.

At all.

*

Luke rested his head against the soft leather of the seat, stretching his feet as far out as he could. He wanted to sleep, had tried but it seemed to allude him. Nothing on the hundreds of channels of satellite television. All he had was time, to think about all the people he loved, to hope that he didn’t scare them too badly.

Maybe, he could try to call them from here.

He opened his cell, switched it on and glanced over his shoulder. God, he hoped this didn’t cause the plane to plummet them to their deaths. That would just be the cherry on top of the whipped cream. When nothing shook, he tried to dial a number but received only a busy signal.

It didn’t seem to work. His phone beeped at him and he realized his problem was the battery. It was pretty much dead. He turned it off, threw it on top of his things, and closed his eyes again. When they reached Malta, he would recharge it and call home.

Luke could only guess that his Dad had found his note and even if he was mad, he was probably relieved as well. No matter what he said, Luke knew he had to feel some resentment, some pain when he looked at him. That would be how Luke would feel. If someone hurt the person he loved, whomever that person would be, he knew he would never get over it. His mind wandered to Kevin, to their last conversation, when he yelled at Luke for ruining his plans, when he told him to forget his number, when he told Luke to forget him.

How was he supposed to do that?

He closed his eyes, imaging lips that he would die to taste, eyes that bore into his, hands on his skin. He finally fell into a deep sleep, dreaming of the boy he loved and knew would never feel that way about him.

*

“He’s finally asleep.”

“That’s good, then.” The voice sounded rough and a little hollow over the phone, which gave Damian pause; it felt as if something was not exactly right. He shook it off. This was going to help Luke.

“We should be arriving at Echo Lake in a couple of hours.”

There was a pause. “There’s been a change of plans.”

Damian froze. “What do you mean?”

“Your ex-wife knew about Echo Lake and wasn’t thrilled, Mr. Grimaldi. I think it would be safer if we sent Luke somewhere else. We have a more - intensive program - on one of my family’s estates in Montana.”

Damian glanced over at Luke’s sleeping form as he spoke. “What does more intensive mean, Kreeger?”

“I understand your concern, Damian. But do you want your son to get better or are you willing to risk the rest of his life?”

He loved his son. Even if no one believed that. All he wanted was what would be best for Luke. “Alright, Kreeger. Tell me where we’re headed.”

*

The loss of movement woke him up. When his eyes focused, he realized it was dark outside and he wondered if he had actually slept the entire flight to Italy. Shaking his head at that stupid thought, he slowly rose out of his seat. His legs felt cramped, after taking a couple of moments to stretch them, he went in search of Damian.

The silence that greeted him was foreboding and Luke pushed away the doubts that had been nagging him. He took a few steps back. Maybe he could reach his Dad now. Turning, he ran back down the aisle to his seat, freezing when he looked on the floor to find his bag was missing.

That was not good. Not at all.

“Hello, Luke.”

It was a voice he recognized but he was not sure why. Straightening his shoulders, Luke turned, coming face to face with Ross Kreeger. “What the hell are you doing here? Where’s Damian?” Luke glanced around the small space, which seemed to be narrowing with every second that passed. This was all wrong.

Kreeger smiled, holding a hand up. “Now, stay calm, Luke. Your father is only doing what’s best. He wants us to help you. To fix what’s broken.”

There it was again. That damn word.

“I. Am. Not. Broken.” Luke gritted through his teeth, eyes scanning for an escape, feet taking each step backwards with caution.

“There’s nowhere to go, son. It’s better if you don’t fight us. We only want to help.”

He hit something solid, muscled, and hard. Large hands gripped his shoulder and when he turned to look, there was an equally large man attached to the hands that were holding him in place. This was not happening.

Damian couldn’t…would not…

“Who are you? What…?”

“That’s Rodney. He helps with the safekeeping of our…kids.”

Luke shook his head. “This is kidnapping.”

Kreeger shook his head. “We have your father’s consent, Luke. Believe me, it’s legal.”

“He’s not my father.”

“Your birth certificate says he is, then he is. Listen to me, just come quietly, and it’ll be all right. We’ll just take a ride. We only want to talk.”

“Yeah, that’s what they say in those mob movies before they kill you.” Luke kept talking, mind whirling with ways to get out of this. He needed his phone. Now.

Kreeger smiled at him, creepy and fake, nodded and Luke found that he was being pushed forward. He desperately needed his bag. “Where’s my stuff?”

He was only met with shrug. “It's in the van. You can have access to it when we reach the camp.”

They took the steps down and off the plane. Luke took in his surroundings. When he got in touch with his Dad, he needed to know where to tell him to look. All around him were trees, fields of green, and beyond that, the shadow of mountains lining the night sky. Luke was pretty sure they were not anywhere near Oakdale. They had landed in some remote part of, only God knows where, in the country.

“Where are we going? Echo Lake?”

Kreeger shook his head. “No, Luke. I think you may need something more intensive than we can offer you at Echo Lake.”

Luke swallowed down his panic. “Intensive?” He was nudged gently from behind, and when he looked, he could have sworn that Rodney eyes pleaded with him to get in. He glanced down to Rodney's side, and in the dark, he could make out what looked like a gun.

Luke’s eyes widened and when he glanced back at Rodney, he nodded almost imperceptible. Pulling his arm away, he climbed into the back of the van, checking as he did the possibility of simply jumping out another door. There were no other doors. It was dark and humid. He wiped his sweaty hands on his jeans. He was idiot to trust Damian.

He should have known.

“You can’t get away with this.”

Kreeger spoke over his shoulder. “I know that you don’t understand this now, Luke. But we’re only trying to make you better.”

“I’m not sick.”

There was no response and he said it louder. “I’m not sick. Nothing you do will make me think I am.”

The car started and Luke took a deep breath. His Dad would find him. When Luke didn’t call right away, when Holden couldn’t get a hold of Damian, he would come find him. Luke would make sure that his Dad knew where to look. Somehow, he would make sure.

*

Damian watched the van pull away, taking another deep sip from his drink. He was doing the right thing. He filled his glass again, catching his manservant’s eye as he did. Charles looked away, but not before Damian saw the disapproval there.

“He’ll be fine.”

“If you say so, sir.”

“This will help him. Stop his confusion.”

“I can’t imagine that Master Luciano thinks the same, sir.” Charles turned to stare at him. “He is resourceful. He will find a way out.”

Damian nodded. “I imagine he’ll call for help.”

Luke needed this time. Moreover, Damian would give it to him. According to the program rules, he couldn’t see him for some weeks, but he was assured when he did see him again, his son would be better.

“Time to get head out, Charles.”

“Where to, sir?”

“Home.” Damian motioned outside. “Wait by the plane. I have a few things to take care of.”

He pulled his cell phone out of his pocket, finding the recently programmed number and pushing the call button.

“This had better be fucking good.” The pissed off, slightly drunk voice came over the line and Damian cringed at the uncultured vulgarity.

“Hello, Kevin. This is Damian Grimaldi, Luke's father.”

“Oh. Um.”

“I have something to tell you, Kevin, so listen carefully.”

*

It was not anything like he expected. Luke could admit that much, as he stepped out of the van and into the dawning morning. He had imagined a dark, large, looming building with bars and gates and guards. The truth was the house was large but nothing compared to his grandmother’s estate. It had yellow trim, like an old-fashioned Inn, with a veranda that wrapped all the way around. Flowers grew along the winding path that leads to the door. Even though there were some people at the gate, they were not dressed in military uniforms or carrying guns.

He was relieved despite knowing that this façade shouldn’t fool him. Things were not always what they seemed. He was convinced this place was one of those things. He forced his feet to move, to follow Kreeger down the path. The staff, smiled and waved but none were for Luke, they were all aimed at the good doctor.

No one looked at Luke. No eye contact. No acknowledgement. Nothing.

When they reached the door, Kreeger motioned for Luke to enter first. He was not sure he wanted to but until he was sure where he was, he knew running was not an option. He needed a plan. That plan's first step was to try to get a hold of his bags.

“Turn left and go into the schoolroom. Have a seat. You will be briefed there with rules and regulations.”

The words made Luke cringe but he did as he was told. He entered the room and took the seat furthest in the back. He glanced around, not finding anything out of the ordinary. It reminded him of every childhood classroom he had ever been in, with old-fashioned desks, bookshelves littered with papers, books, and weird little objects. Desk at the front of the room piled with more papers and -- Luke blinked.

A phone.

There was a goddamn phone on the desk.

“It won’t work for outside calls.”

Hearing the voice, he turned his head and met brown eyes that seemed to laugh a little. “I wasn’t -”

There was a snort and the kid just shook his head. “Then you’re an idiot, if you weren’t thinking about it. We all think about it when we first see it.” Brown Eyes sticks his hand out, looking behind his shoulder. “I’m not supposed to be talking to you but the name’s Marc. When you get out, find us at lunch.”

Luke shook his head, brow furrowed in confusion. “When I get out? Us?”

Marc stepped out of the room without another word and seconds later Kreeger walked in, followed by a grinning woman who introduced herself as “Marcie. Just call me Marcie.”

“So I guess we should begin.”

“What?” He looked at both of them, sneering just a bit. He is Lucinda Walsh’s grandson, after all. He knows intimidation tactics. “What exactly are we starting here, Marcie?”

She smiled then and Luke realized, it never reached her eyes. That was very disconcerting. “Well, Luke. We’ll just be going over the rules, the schedules you’ll be following, assigning your group, and of course your room space. You won't be able to occupy it just yet, but when you can we'll take you there."

She didn’t wait for Luke to respond and just began reciting a long list of rules and regulations, all of which Luke didn’t understand, and really could care less about.

He would not be there long enough to need them.

*

“Jack…”

“Holden, I can’t do anything. If Luke left voluntarily, and that note says he did, then it’s not kidnapping.” Jack closed the file he was studying, trying not to worry about what this could mean. He knew Damian was nothing but trouble. That he could care less about Luke. However, he also knew Luke, the kid was smart. He would not let Damian take advantage of him.

Holden ran one hand over his weary face. He hadn’t slept in three days. Between running to the hospital, the farm and searching for Luke, he had missed any chance of resting. “I know that Luke isn’t easy to fool, Jack. Normally. But in this situation. What's going on here isn’t normal.”

Jack paused his shuffling and glanced up at his cousin. “What aren’t you telling me, Holden?”

“Luke feels guilty. About Lily and Ethan. He hates the way this all went down. He’s been apologizing to me for days. Thinking I’m mad at him. That I blame him. And I thought -”, Holden choked a moment, taking a deep breath as he continued; “I thought I had assured him. That I had convinced him none of this was his fault.”

Jack placed a hand on his cousin’s shoulder. “Holden, I’m sure you did.”

Holden shook his head. “I left him alone. I let Damian take advantage of my son. And when Lily’s wakes up and Luke isn’t there.” He looked up then, blinking away the itch in his eyes. “I need to find him. For all of our sakes.”

The tremor broke Jack. In all his life, in the years that he had known Holden, this was the closest to a breakdown he had ever seen his cousin experience. He was family and he was suffering. If there was one thing Jack hated was seeing his kin in pain.

“Alright. I’ll call in some favors. See if I can have someone track Damian and Luke down.”

He squeezed Holden’s shoulder before walking back to his desk and picking up his phone. “Hey, Rita. It’s Jack. Yeah. Let me talk to Bobby.”

*

The list of rules they gave him was actually a small book, full of biblical passages that punctuated what was expected from him. Dress, comportment, manners. It was all laid out before him.

He was not allowed to wear his hair long.

He was not allowed to dress with comfort.

He was not allowed to write anything while in the program.

He was not allowed to speak to anyone outside of the program for a month.

He was not allowed to speak to anyone AT ALL for a week.

That didn’t even begin to cover it.

It was incredibly detailed and absolutely one of the most frightening lists he had ever seen. Luke’s eyes widened as he read, fear turning to anger and then solidifying into something even more: determination.

“How exactly, is not talking to anyone going to help you fix me?” He used air quotes on the word “fix” and earned a glare from Marcie. First time any real emotion seeped out of the old bat.

“The rules are there for your well-being and moral fashioning, Luke. They are there to educate you and ease you into our life here.” She bared her teeth, that was the only way to describe it, at Luke and he raised an eyebrow.

“Uh-huh.” Moral fashioning? He was not exactly sure how moral it was to kidnap someone’s kid and stick them in, what could only be called prison. “So, basically, this is like, a prison for queers?”

“That is enough, Luke. One of the basic rules here is respect. If that can’t be followed, you will be taught how to do so.”

Luke swallowed silently, not allowing them to see his fear. This place, with its bright colors and sunny rooms, decorative warmth and fake smiles, scared the shit out of him. It all felt wrong. He could see kids walking in groups, all dressed the same, some with blank expressions, others looking like they were trying too hard.

All with one thing in common. Their eyes belied more than fear. What he saw was hopelessness.

“It's time to go to your room, Luke.”

He would have argued but something in Kreeger’s tone warned him off. He wanted to be able to get out of this with sound mind and body. “Fine.”

The walk to his room was long and just this shy of horrifying. It was like something out of those bad sci-fi movies that he and Kevin used to watch at his Grandmother's guesthouse. Back when looking at Kevin didn’t hurt so much.

The walls were some off-white color, almost too stark, too clinical. Hardwood floor paneling as far as Luke's eyes could see and as they walked, he realized that what he had first assumed where pictures on the walls were actually rules and scriptures.

Kreeger stopped at one of the closest to them. "They're here as a reminder of what is expected of you, from us, and from God."

Luke narrowed his eyes at him. The God that his family had taught him to believe in, accepted of all his children. He could... No, scratch that. Would not believe that he and Kreeger believed in the same God. He didn’t respond, simply stared until Kreeger began to walk again. He talked animatedly about all the amenities Luke would find there. The stables where they kept horses. Luke would be able to ride once he passed his first levels. It was a privilege to do so and he should look forward to it. He pointed out a small door, which led to a library. They had made sure to collect the kind of reading that would make Luke aspire to being something better.

As they walked past another door, Luke glanced inside when Kreeger pointed it out as the group therapy room. In there, they would work together to help each other become who they were supposed to be.

“I am who I’m supposed to be.”

The words left of their violation, as if his mouth had a mind of its own, which it often did.

Kreeger said nothing in return, turning and walking down another corridor, then down a couple of flights and stopping at the first door they came to. He waved grandly as if presenting some grand gift to Luke. “These are what we call our initiation rooms. You will stay here for the first week.” He opened the door to reveal a small room with a bed, desk and lamp, dresser and nothing else. “You will take your meals here as well. In a few minutes, one of our other members - what we call our seniors - will bring you reading material and workbooks. You’ll need them for your therapy. He will also give you a schedule for activities. For the first week, you may only do one, of course. But if all goes well and you make it through this with no problems, you can do as many as you like once you’ve finished with your self-improvement classes for the day.”

Luke could only blink because what the hell else was he supposed to do. This was beyond irrational and surreal. “So, I have no contact with anyone for a week?”

“Well, with me, of course. Marcie as well. And, of course, the senior that will be bringing your materials and food. Though, you are not allowed to speak to him.”

Luke stared. “I can’t speak to him?”

Kreeger shrugged, almost carelessly. “I suppose you could begin a conversation but he won’t respond. He has been told not to. He knows the rules and he will follow them. They all will, Luke. The process is what everyone goes through.”

“So, if one of them decides to talk,” Luke crossed his arms and glared at Kreeger. ”What happens exactly?”

“Your silence will be extended to them.”

Luke shook his head. “What?”

“They will be punished. It’s that simple.” Kreeger raised one brow, smirking at Luke, “My suggestion is that you think about what you do before you involve someone else and ruin their own progress.” He left then, closing the door soundly behind him.

Luke waited a few minutes; looking around the room for any places, they could hide cameras or bugs. It was not as if they were not capable of that. It took him a moment to realize he had forgotten to ask for his things. Slamming the folder and papers on the desk, Luke hung his head.

This was going to be harder then he thought.

He glanced out the small window that shone some light into the otherwise dark room, taking note that there seemed to be little to no security. Why would anyone stay here if that were the case? He couldn’t begin to imagine that any person here was doing it out of his or her own volition. There was no way.

There had to be a way they were keeping everyone in check.

His body ached, cried for some rest and Luke knew that if he didn’t give his body what it needed, it would not help him get the hell out of there. Taking a deep sigh, he sat on the bed, his eyes falling repeatedly to the door. The person that walked in that door was sent here like him.

He wanted to see what had been done to them, so he would know what he had to look forward to, if he didn’t make it back home.

*

Marc walked quietly through the library, nodding to some of the seniors, as he went. They smiled back, waved, and then returned to their books or their juniors. He caught sight of Paul and Ryan, who seemed to be sitting a little too close. He hoped none of the staff saw them. He made a mental note to mention it to Evie, so that she could caution Ryan. Paul should know better, especially considering what had just happened. Rounding the corner, his eyes fell on a patch of dark hair and he sped up. Gossip was always something he liked to share around these parts. It kept them all going.

“Hey.”

The dark head turned to greet him. “Hey.”

Their whispered conversation echoed through the silent room and Marc remembered why it was he hated the library. It never afforded them enough protection against the enemy. Nevertheless, he had to get this out there. “We got us a new one.”

Dulled crystalline eyes glanced at him, mouth frowning slightly, before returning to look at the book they had been skimming. “Hmm.”

“They brought a new one in today, “Marc tried again because this was important. “I got Kitty from admissions to slip and give me his name. Snyder -”

“Luke Snyder. I know.”

Marc plopped down in the chair next to his friend, eyeing him cautiously. “How the hell did you know?” He was met with a shrug of the shoulders, which Marc supposed was to pass for nonchalance, and a shake of the head. “Oh, no. You’re going to tell me now.”

He didn’t get a chance to ask anything else because there was a rustle of noise, then Evie was sitting next to him, leaning across his space to hiss at their friend. “When were you going to tell us?”

Marc glanced between them, whispering harshly, “Tell us what?” The staff could have heard and would be coming by to remind them that conversations in the library were not wanted.

Evie sighed, motioned to his other side. “That one over there. He got put in charge of the new kid.”

Marc resisted the urge to screech out his “What?” but barely. He turned to look at his friend. “Okay. Wait, what are they up to? I thought, you know, after David…”

There was a long sigh; those same dulled eyes looked at him, a flash of heat warming them briefly. “Marc.” It was a warning, low but trembling and Marc wondered what would happen, if they pushed his friend to the brink again.

It would not be pretty.

Marc nodded. Fine, he knew better than to mention that. “I’m just saying. They must have a reason.”

“Yes, they do.” Eyes darkened a shade and fell back down to his book. “It’s a test. For both of us.”

Marc glanced at Evie, then back over at his friend’s profile. “You need to be careful. You’re almost out of here, man.”

Noah turned to look at him, expression blank, closed off from its previous emotions. His voice low and deep so Marc knew Noah meant the words he said.

“Whatever they plan to do, it’s not going to work. I’ll make sure of that.”

*

“Let me get this straight, darling. Luke is missing. That’s what you’re telling me.”

Holden clenched and unclenched his fists, struggling to keep his voice calm and flat. Getting into a fight with Lucinda would make him feel better, he knew that, but it would not help him find his son. “Yes, Lucinda. That’s what I’m saying.”

Emotions he was not sure he expected crossed her face, before settling on anger. “How? When?”

“Damian convinced Luke to go with him. Supposedly to Malta. Two days ago.”

“Two days? And you’re telling me this now, Holden.” Lucinda glared at him, her hands stretching out to her sides. “We could have had him back by now. Let’s take my plane and go get him.”

She started to march past him and he grabbed at her arm, spinning her around to halt in front of him.

“It’s not that easy, Lucinda. You think if it was, I would have hesitated in going there already.”

“And why haven’t you?” She pulled her arm out of his grip, patience wearing thin in her voice.

“Because they aren’t in Malta. We know that much.”

“We?”

“Jack is looking into this, too.”

Lucinda looked worried, even afraid, if it was at all possible for Lucinda Walsh to look that way. “You can’t find them?”

“No. It’s like Damian disappeared off the face of the earth and took Luke with him.” He massaged his forehead, the ache that had began two days before was now a pounding throb. “I have to go look for him, Lucinda.”

She nodded her approval, starting forward again. “Yes. We have to. I have my jet. We can go right now.”

“No.” Holden said and prepared for the ensuing argument with the only thing that would keep Lucinda in check. “One of us has to stay here for Lily. When she wakes -” he choked for just a moment on the words but managed to get them out because she would - “one of us has to be here for her. To keep her calm.” He looked straight at Lucinda. “I need you to do this for me, Lucinda.”

Lucinda closed her eyes. “That was not fair, Holden.” Every instinct in her wanted to run and find her grandson. However, Holden, in all the time he had loved her daughter, had never asked anything of her. She couldn’t deny him now, that he had. “Darling, I’m only agreeing because you need to go now and can’t waste time arguing with me. I’ll take care of things here. You take my plane.” She opened her eyes, moist with unshed tears. “Bring Luke home.”

Holden nodded, leaning in to kiss one of cheeks. “I promise. You keep Lily safe.”

“I promise.”

They nodded at each other, then he was gone. Lucinda fell into one of the hard, waiting room chairs she was now accustomed to, and prayed to a God she was not sure existed.

*

“There have been more inquiries made about you, sir.”

Damian glanced up from the paperwork he had been pretending to read for the last half hour and nodded, unsurprised. “I’m sure there has been. Holden Snyder is not a man that gives up easily.”

“I imagine not, sir.” Charles carried in a tray with Damian’s favorite meal, placing it gently on the desk; he met his employer’s gaze. “When it comes to family, some men can be relentless.”

Damian nodded once. “He’ll find us, eventually.”

Charles glanced up from serving Damian, his eyebrow quirking. “I was under the impression you didn’t want that, sir.”

“No. I just wanted a chance - I want my son to get better, Charles. Holden would have deterred that. When it’s time to contact my son, when he is ready, Snyder will find out. Not a moment sooner.”

“Sometimes things don’t work out how we planned.”

Damian looked up. “What does that mean?”

“It means that maybe your son can’t be healed, sir. Maybe, it doesn’t work that way.”

He said it quietly, in that tone that Charles always used on Damian, the one he had been using since Damian was a child. He knew that perhaps he should pay heed to it but he couldn’t believe, couldn’t accept that his son…

He wanted an easy life for Luke.

This would give him that.

“I have try, Charles.”

There was a heavy sigh, ripe with disappointment. Damian ignored it. This was for the better.

“If you say so, sir. Excuse me.”

Damian was left alone with his dinner, his thoughts and his dawning doubts…

*

Luke drummed his fingers on one knee, glancing between the door and the small window.

Any moment now, he was expecting whoever it was, with the papers and food. It was nerve wracking for him. It had been an hour. He hadn’t even managed the nap he knew he needed. He was too afraid to sleep in this place.

Standing up to look out the window, he caught sight of the first students, strolling through the grounds in pairs or groups, always followed by, what he assumed were counselors or staff. There was little to no privacy. They were scared to leave the kids alone. He had been watching them for the last hour, how they stood behind listening. He could tell who was used to it, who was not, who minded, and who could care less.

The grounds were huge from his view, green and beautiful. The actual place itself was creepy as hell. The surrounding forest kept them from view of the road and he assumed any nosy neighbors. Not that he had noticed many on the way in. It was going to be more than a little difficult to find somewhere to call for help.

He was so caught up in his thoughts that the sound of the door opening reached his ears a moment too late. Luke wanted to be prepared when he met the ‘senior’, whatever that meant.

He turned to look, prepared to smile, and his voice caught in his throat. He blinked a few times when he was met with surprising blue eyes. Luke watched what looked like shock and some other emotion, he couldn’t tell, sweep over the face in from of him. He ignored his own reaction. He hadn’t expected him to be…

“Hi. I’m Luke.”

There was a nod, gaze skirting away from Luke’s, and he watched as a tray was placed on the desk. He followed the figure with his eyes as he disappeared from sight. Luke waited patiently, watching as he brought back some books in one hand and his backpack in the other. Luke made a happy sound and Blue Eyes, as he was going to have to call him it seemed, met his gaze. He held out the bag, shaking it slightly, in an effort to get Luke to take it.

“Thanks. I wanted to ask about this.” When he reached for the bag, the other boy’s hands pulled away so quickly, it almost fell to the floor. Luke wanted to ask if he was okay, but he was itching to look inside, to make sure his possessions were still there. His connections to home. It felt lighter and he knew they must have gone through it already. Looking for what, he was not sure. When he opened it, he realized his books and journal were missing.

He turned, angry and accusing at the boy in the room. “What did they do with my things? Where are they?”

There was no response.

“Can you talk?”

After a moment, there was a shake of the head and one finger was pointed at the list on the table. Rule number one in the long list. He had forgotten. No one could talk to him for the first week.

“That is such bullshit.”

Eyes widened slightly but other than that, there was no change of expression. The boy pointed at him than traced one finger across his lips.

“Are you telling me to shut up?”

Some frustration crossed Blue Eyes features and he nodded in answer. Luke was not sure whether he wanted to laugh or punch the guy. He guessed he was only trying to help, but Luke was not exactly feeling it, right now. “I just want to know what happened to my books. My journal…I had a journal.”

He glared at… ‘Jesus, couldn’t he at least wear a badge or something?’ Blue Eyes until the other boy sighed. It took Luke a moment to realize that Blue Eyes had moved to his desk. He turned with the list in his hand, rifling through the pages until he found what he was looking for and then pointing to one particular line, he handed it to Luke.

10. Absolutely no journaling or keeping a diary outside of the MI process unless directed or approved by staff.

“Of course not.”

He sensed warmth next to him, not close enough to touch but that didn’t seem to matter, he still felt it. One finger pointed at a second line.

1. All new residents will be placed into Safekeeping for the initial two weeks of their program. A client on safekeeping may not communicate verbally, or by using hand gestures or eye contact, with any other clients, staff members, or his/her parents or guardians. In case of a practical need, Safekeeping clients may write down their question or request and show it to another client, staff member. Writing may only be used when necessary.

Luke wanted to go home, to see his sisters and brother, to see Kevin. He needed to get out of there. He needed to find a way to escape. Being stuck in one small room was not going to allow him to do that.

“So, to get out of here. I have to do this. Follow these rules.”

The nod was so quick that at any other time Luke would have found it funny. “Okay. Fine.” He could stop talking, any minute now.

He would work on that non-breathing thing, too.

He placed his face in his hands and groaned. “Can I at least know your name?”

One eyebrow pulled up slightly, and Luke could have sworn blue eyes narrowed.

“Oh, for - dude, I just want to know the name of the only other person I’ll be in contact with.” He gestured at his head. “So you know, I can have a name to curse out in my head.”

Lips quirked up for a moment and Luke held in a breath. It would probably be a nice smile.

They held gazes until the other boy broke it, reaching for one of the books on top of the pile that sat on Luke’s bed. It was the Bible. Luke rolled his eyes. He was not looking for scriptures to help here. The boy handed the book to him and Luke shook his head. “I don’t need to read the Bible, man.”

The other boy shook his own head and tapped the page that was open. Luke sighed, and looked down. It was open to story of Noah’s ark. He glanced up and then at the name, smiling a little.

“Noah.”

Noah turned from his place at the door, nodding to let him know he was right.

“Thanks.”

Another nod and the door closed, leaving Luke one part annoyed and one part relieved.

Noah.

It was a nice name at least.

Part Two

###

Current Mood: calm
Current Location: home...

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NaNo Fic: What Is Undone (ATWT, Luke/Noah, AU) - Part One

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