FIC: Indebted (QaF, Brian/Justin, series) Chapter Eleven: What We Can't See

[freakykat]

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Title: Indebted
Chapter: Eleven - What We Can't See
Sequel/Series: series
Author: freakykat
Time Frame: Takes place during 3rd season starting after 3.04 - AU timelime
Summary: Justin and Brian find their lives intertwine no matter what they do.
Rating: NC-17
Notes: I know this took forever. Hope it's worth it. Feedback loved and appreciated but not required. No beta. All mistakes mine.
Disclaimer: I own none of this. I has no money. Please don't sue.

All previous Indebted chapters




Indebted


Chapter Eleven: What We Can’t See...



Cynthia hadn’t expected to find Justin Taylor sitting in her office, one leg casually crossed over his knee, and hands loose in his lap. He rose when he saw her, grinning as he did. It made her pause for all of two seconds, before she regained her composure, and having been Brian Kinney’s assistant for enough years now, recover from any bit of shock. “Justin. It’s so good to see you.”

And it was. She liked Justin. He’d been good for Brian, no matter what her former boss thought.

Switching the files in her arms to her desk, she took the hand Justin had reached out and smiled at the formality. “What can I do for you?”

His eyebrows furrowed a little and he looked honestly confused. “They told me to report to you?”

Cynthia blinked, then her eyes widened a little as she vaguely remembered one of the pages reminding her that the new intern was starting today. “You’re...you’re the new intern?”

Justin nodded, smiling and holding his hands out to the sides. “That’s me.”

“I see.”

Justin shrugged. “It’s for credit. I applied to the internship program at PIFA and part of the course requirement is work experience. I know how great Vanguard is…”

“So, you figured you could work here. With Brian.”

Justin looked at her innocently. “I know how good this company is, Cynthia. I wanted the best.”

“I bet.” She sighed as she took her seat, motioning to the one he’d been sitting in, and when he was settled, she laid it all out on the table. “Brian doesn’t work here anymore, Justin.”

“What?” He jumped from his chair, mouth a thin line, his head shaking. “But...this company...it’s Brian’s life. I don’t...what?”

Cynthia watched Justin’s face, the slow build of color, the way his eyes glared and realized that no matter what Brian had said, nothing between them was done. “He had to.” She wasn’t sure how much she could say without causing Brian to want her dead. And when he made it through everything, and opened his own goddamn company, she wanted a ringside seat there. “There’s some stuff he needs to take care of. Personal things, I suppose. So, he took what I guess is a sabbatical. He’s only working on two clients right now. “

“Let me guess.”

Cynthia raised one eyebrow. “Well, it is a major political campaign. Granted, we still do most of the work here but Brian is main consultant and that’s where everything come from first.”

Justin shoved one hand through his hair. “He’s going to make this fucking impossible, isn’t he?” This had been his plan. To see Brian. To force Brian to see him. To work on his resistance. He was going to show the son of a bitch that he still loved Justin and that Justin still loved him. “I’m never going to be able to...he‘s not going to make it easy at all, is he?” He knew he was repeating himself but...goddamn it! This was his life here and Brian’s.

Cynthia wasn’t quite sure what he was talking about, though it wasn’t hard to figure out, but she nodded her head anyway. “Probably not.”

“Is he working at the loft?”

Cynthia nodded, and when Justin started to walk out, she called out to him. “Um...he’s out of town, Justin. And, you still have the internship, kid.”

Justin hung his head, sighing and looking at her, lost and forlorn. He nodded his head, resigned. “You’re right. I made a commitment here. But what the hell am I suppose to do now?” He had it all planned out. He was going to corner Brian where he worked. Where he couldn’t get away from him. He was going to make him remember that he loved Justin.

Cynthia rolled her eyes because sometimes the answers were so clear, that people couldn’t see them. “Leave that up to me. I have an idea.”

Justin looked up at her. “You do?”

“Yes. I’ll have to make some arrangements but I think I have something that can work. In the meantime, we can’t do anything until Brian comes back at the end of the week. So, you can work with me like originally planned.”

Justin realized that he had been standing in Cynthia’s office for over twenty minutes without really thinking about. He grinned at her, despite his stomach churning with disappointment, and clapped his hands. “Way to go, you.”

“Just junior executive. Not like I run the place.”

“Yet.”

Cynthia grinned. “I have a feeling someday I’ll be running a similar company.”

Justin understood completely. “Sure of that, huh?”

Cynthia shrugged. “You know, Brian. He takes care of you.”

Justin smiled softly, voice quiet. “Yes. He does.”


###


“Well, good morning, Sun-”

Brian rolled his head away, slowly opened his eyes, cutting off Vic’s greeting before he finished it. “Vic. Don’t.”

Vic put the magazine in his hands down on the table and bit back the rest of what he was going to say. He’d forgotten for a moment about that nickname. How he couldn’t tell you, since it was all he ever thought when he thought of Justin. It was his old age kicking him in the ass again. “Sorry. Got away from me there.”

He watched Brian’s eyes focus on the room, the bed and finally on Vic. It was always amazing to him to see the walls go up around Brian. He’d been that way for as long as Vic had known him. It’d only gotten worse over the years. Something about Brian had made him ache inside since… he’d shown up at their house. He’d only been there for a visit at the time and seeing this skinny, awkward kid try to pretend he wasn’t in pain or that he didn’t’ need anything had broken Vic just a little.

It was why he had such a soft spot for the kid.

Brian leaned up, trying to sit and Vic placed his hand on Brian’s shoulder, shaking his head. “Not a good idea, kiddo.”

Brian looked away at the sentiment, furrowing his eyes and trying to jerk free of Vic’s hold. “I’m fine, Vic.”

“I don’t think so. Remember that time I took you and Michael to Six Flags and you insisted that you could get on Thunder Dome twice then proceeded to throw up all over the ride and yourself and Michael halfway through the second time?”

Brian’s mouth twitched a little and Vic refrained from laughing at the memory. “Well, that was a walk in the park to this, so, please. For my sake. Stay still and get your strength before you try to walk out of here.”

Brian leaned his head back and Vic scooted his chair closer, flipping open his magazine, knowing that it would be up to him to be there when Brian needed something. The silence in the room stretched into minutes and Vic assumed Brian had fallen back asleep but when he glanced up, he saw that Brian was staring sightlessly at the ceiling. Vic's heart constricted a little and when Brian blinked, he let out a quiet sigh of relief.

“Does it always hurt this much?”

Vic didn’t even pretend not to understand. “Most of the time. The worst part is always being so tired. That’s what I hate.”

Brian nodded but didn’t turn his head to look at him. “I fucking hate this.”

“I know.”

He remembered how it had felt when they’d told him. How angry he’d been at himself, at the world. That he couldn’t be who he was. Vic motheringfucking Grassi. Jesus, he’d been beautiful once. Almost as beautiful as Brian if that was possible.

“Why, Vic?”

Brian’s voice brought him back and he turned a questioning glance to the man in the bed. The person that looked back at him was in a lot of ways, the boy that Vic had grown to love, and admire. That lost soul who wanted love but would refuse it at every turn. Lord knows he made it hard enough. Justin had his work cut out for him.

“Why what?”

“Why did you say you would come? Why did you say yes?”

Vic blinked…because the answer was clear to him why. “We’re family.” Those words had a lot of meaning between them. When he’d returned home from the hospital that first time, when everyone that cared for him, except for a few close friends, Debbie and Michael, had turned their backs and he’d felt like nothing, like no one, and he’d entered his house, it was like time stood still.

Everyone stared, unsure and uncomfortable and he knew they loved him but no one knew what to do.

And then Brian had walked out the kitchen, straight to Vic, and hugged him tight. Told him he was happy to see him. Then, he’d walked away and back to the where he’d left his trick waiting. It had made Vic feel like his entire world hadn’t ended.

When he’d been back in the hospital, close to death’s door, and Brian had come by to see him, sitting with a magazine, just sitting for hours, while Vic just faded, he’d asked Brian why he came to see him every day, why he would put himself through that.

His answer had been simple.

“We’re family.”

Brian looked at him, nodded, and let his eyes close, let himself feel safe enough to drift off to sleep. Vic reached one hand out and smoothed the hair from Brian’s forehead back, that deep ache inside his heart spreading.

If something happened to Brian, he wasn’t sure how anyone would handle it. No one realized it but he was their most important piece.

And without him, Vic doubted they could function.


###


“What the fuck do you mean he quit his job?”

Debbie had her hands on her hips, chewing gum in mouth and her ranting stance all ready. “And where the fuck is he?”

Mel concentrated on cutting up her breakfast into small enough pieces she could chew on and actually keep in her stomach. Morning sickness was a bitch, and on days like today, she wondered what the hell she had been thinking - agreeing to carry the baby. She placed one hand on her slightly swollen belly and smiled.

She knew why and she loved it, for the most part.

Lindz patted her hand and she glanced up, everyone’s expectant faces looking at her. “I’m sorry, I wasn’t listening.”

Michael took a deep breath, waving a hand at her. “Pregnant ladies go deaf or something?”

Mel nodded. “When they want to, yes.”

Lindz frowned, taking Mel’s hand in hers. “I know you don’t like him but no one has heard from Brian in three days. No one.”

Mel bit her tongue and nodded, squeezing Lindsey’s hand. “I know that, honey. But Brian is a big boy. He’ll be okay.”

“It’s just not like him to disappear like that.”

Ben chimed in. “He would have told Michael, at least, if he was going out of town.”

Emmett, pale and tired, nodded his head in agreement. “Brian is an asshole. But he wouldn’t just walk away without saying anything. It’s not…Brian.”

“And if he was going on some fabulous vacation, he would happily rubbed it in all our faces.” Debbie wringed her hands together, her face a mask of worry, and Mel felt twice as sick as before. She wanted to say something, to reassure, but a promise was a promise.

And what she had to say, what she knew, wasn’t exactly comforting anyway.

“Look, guys. For weeks, everyone, all of us, have been on his case because of Stockwell. And even though he deserved everything we said, maybe he got sick of it and decided he needed a break from hearing what a piece of shit he is. Ever think of that?”

She hadn’t meant to rant. It wasn’t their fault and she knew half of the anger she felt was at herself. Because she’d never been able to see Brian as anything other then a threat. And he’d still confided in her. At the end, he’d believed in her to keep his secrets.

They were all staring at her again. She couldn’t take it. “I have to go to work.” She threw down enough money to cover the breakfast for herself and Lindsey, then bolted for the door and her car.

She heard Lindsey behind her. “Mel! MEL!”

Stopping at the door, she turned and kissed Lindsey quickly. “I have to go.”

Without looking back, she got to the car, inside it and started the engine, pulling out and into traffic. All within a minute of having almost completely lost it in the diner. She couldn’t do this anymore.

Brian would be back tomorrow and then they would stop asking questions. Then, she could stop avoiding her wife and maybe, life would turn back to normal.

Or as normal as it would get knowing that Brian had cancer, that it had spread and that he might not survive. Her stomach clenched, and she pulled the car over, parked, opened her door and threw up the contents of her breakfast.

She was going to kick Brian Kinney’s ass when he got better.

If he got better...


Chapter Twelve



###

Holy crap. Look what I did.

*blinks*

Heh.

###

Comments

[gerri71.livejournal.com]

Tonight is the night for catching up, thank you for the one thing worth loosing sleep over.

[freakykat.livejournal.com]

Oh, you did manage to find them! Yay! I'm so glad you caught up! Thank you for reading!