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freakykatTitle: Love’s Tender Refrain
Written for:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
plumduff
Series: Part One of Ten
Time Frame: All over the place post 513
Words: 1420
Beta: Thanks toakintay, who read forever ago and encourged me to keep going!
Summary: Excerpts of Brian and Justin's life.
Rating: G to NC-17
Warnings: Um…nothing much. A little angst, a lot of fun, romance, silliness…
Disclaimer: I own none of this - they belong to Showtime, Cowlip and others. I only play with them a little. Once I'm done, I'll dust them off and give them back.
A/N: This is dedicated entirely to the lovelyplumduff for her birthday and as tradition is seems to have become, it’s ridiculously late. This is a ten part series inspired by this meme I saw floating around. The gist of it was: put your iTunes on shuffle, and write a drabble based on each of the first ten songs that play. Don’t linger when the song is over, this is an exercise. Though this series ranges in length from drabblish to ficlet to not so ficlet.
I’m hearing what you say but I just can’t make a sound.
(Apologize - One Republic)
1.
New York invaded his soul like only one other ever had and when Justin walked down her dirty, gray streets all he could see where lines, curves…violent colors in neon and spray paint. A swirl of darkness and light that came together perfectly. She was sadness and joy together. A realm where dreams and nightmares actually materialized.
Like many before him, he was taken deeply and would have fallen completely in her grasp if there hadn’t been one thing holding him back.
Or rather one person…
“I think I’m cheating on you with New York.”
“…….”
“Brian, I said -”
“ I fucking heard you, Justin.” There was a shuffling of paper and Justin waited, tapping a beat with the brush in his hand on his knee.
“That doesn’t bother you?”
“Why the fuck would it?”
“Because I might never want to come home.”
There was a sigh and then, “I’m already operating under that assumption, Sunshine. So, if that’s making you feel guilty then just fucking stop.”
He hung up on Brian.
###
When he walked through the subways, the crumbling walls spoke to him, telling their stories of decades past. People milled around him, hyper aware of their surroundings but never seeing what was in front of them. His artistic eye took it in, the shapes and dimensions…would translate it in his mind so that when he was home, his hand could easily recreate it.
Sometimes it was in those moments that he thought New York might win out after all.
“That lasted a little longer than I expected.”
“What did?” Justin brushed one hand over his face.
“The silence…it’s been a week.”
“I know.” There was a pause. “You know, this new fangled invention works both ways.”
“I’ve heard that. You know what else? Proper phone etiquette seems to be going out of style. “
“I’m sorry I hung up.”
Silence.
“You just tend to not hear me sometimes.”
A sigh, deep and serious and Justin doesn’t roll his eyes. Restraint.
“I’m listening now.”
“I might not want to come home.”
“You are home, Justin. I told you I get that.”
Justin breathed in. “Do you?” Little bubble of everything he held inside expanded making it difficult to take in air.
“It’s New York. I’m not going to lie and say I ‘m thrilled about it but…I understand.”
Justin held his head in one hand. “You’re still not hearing me. I’m hanging up now.”
And he did.
###
Nights in the city consisted of an alternating cacophony of lights and sounds to a deadly silence where nothing moved…no one lived. The whispers of ghosts…of lives wasted away…dreams torn asunder permeated the air. Justin hated that part because it reminded him that everything he wanted couldn’t always be had.
And he wanted. A lot.
This city…this place borne of death and power, sometimes of beauty and love…it reminded him that he was leaving what mattered somewhere else.
“…..”
“Brian?”
“I fucking hate that you’re there.”
Justin held a breath, something tugging at his lips and heart.
“I see.”
“I want you here. But it’s not where you need to be.”
“Right.”
“So, you have to be there. Even if I want you here.”
“Brian.”
“Mmm?”
“Call me when you’re sober.”
This time Justin waited until there was a dial tone in his ear before hanging up his phone.
###
It could be said that New York offered Justin everything he wanted. Except for the dingy one-bedroom that he could barely afford with a roommate. Or the throngs of people knocking on his door to feature him as anything. He was less than nothing there. He waited tables at a near by diner and his tips were barely enough to cover expenses. He was starting to resent not being eighteen anymore.
But everything it didn’t give him was weighed by all those things it taught him. He was becoming his own man and he was happy for that. Those dawns where he stood at the grime-covered window of his four story walk-up looking out to where he knew one day he’d be, those were the moments it was worth it.
And in the end he knew it would afford him the only thing that really mattered.
“So…”
“So…”
“This is total bullshit, Justin. You love it there. I understand that.”
“Good.”
“Okay. So what’s with you, then? Why -”
“Because you’re not listening. I may not want to come home.”
“Alright! I heard the first hundred fucking times you said it.”
“No! You haven’t! Cause then you’d stop your self-scarifying shit and know that if I don’t come home, I fully fucking expect home to come to me!”
No response.
“So you know…just wanted you to figure that out on your own but you’re too damn stubborn, apparently.”
After an eternity of silence, Brian mumbled under his breath and Justin quirked an eyebrow. “Excuse me?”
“I said I can’t fucking read minds, Sunshine.”
Justin blinked…because really. This was Brian. And then that little bubble of something that always resided inside him burst open, letting out just a little bit of happiness. He laughed loud and hard.
“Shut up, you little shit.”
“I love you, too, Brian.”
2. I'd encourage your smiles, I'd expect you won't cry.
###
Written for:
plumduffSeries: Part One of Ten
Time Frame: All over the place post 513
Words: 1420
Beta: Thanks to
akintay, who read forever ago and encourged me to keep going!Summary: Excerpts of Brian and Justin's life.
Rating: G to NC-17
Warnings: Um…nothing much. A little angst, a lot of fun, romance, silliness…
Disclaimer: I own none of this - they belong to Showtime, Cowlip and others. I only play with them a little. Once I'm done, I'll dust them off and give them back.
A/N: This is dedicated entirely to the lovely
plumduff for her birthday and as tradition is seems to have become, it’s ridiculously late. This is a ten part series inspired by this meme I saw floating around. The gist of it was: put your iTunes on shuffle, and write a drabble based on each of the first ten songs that play. Don’t linger when the song is over, this is an exercise. Though this series ranges in length from drabblish to ficlet to not so ficlet. I’m hearing what you say but I just can’t make a sound.
(Apologize - One Republic)
1.
New York invaded his soul like only one other ever had and when Justin walked down her dirty, gray streets all he could see where lines, curves…violent colors in neon and spray paint. A swirl of darkness and light that came together perfectly. She was sadness and joy together. A realm where dreams and nightmares actually materialized.
Like many before him, he was taken deeply and would have fallen completely in her grasp if there hadn’t been one thing holding him back.
Or rather one person…
“I think I’m cheating on you with New York.”
“…….”
“Brian, I said -”
“ I fucking heard you, Justin.” There was a shuffling of paper and Justin waited, tapping a beat with the brush in his hand on his knee.
“That doesn’t bother you?”
“Why the fuck would it?”
“Because I might never want to come home.”
There was a sigh and then, “I’m already operating under that assumption, Sunshine. So, if that’s making you feel guilty then just fucking stop.”
He hung up on Brian.
###
When he walked through the subways, the crumbling walls spoke to him, telling their stories of decades past. People milled around him, hyper aware of their surroundings but never seeing what was in front of them. His artistic eye took it in, the shapes and dimensions…would translate it in his mind so that when he was home, his hand could easily recreate it.
Sometimes it was in those moments that he thought New York might win out after all.
“That lasted a little longer than I expected.”
“What did?” Justin brushed one hand over his face.
“The silence…it’s been a week.”
“I know.” There was a pause. “You know, this new fangled invention works both ways.”
“I’ve heard that. You know what else? Proper phone etiquette seems to be going out of style. “
“I’m sorry I hung up.”
Silence.
“You just tend to not hear me sometimes.”
A sigh, deep and serious and Justin doesn’t roll his eyes. Restraint.
“I’m listening now.”
“I might not want to come home.”
“You are home, Justin. I told you I get that.”
Justin breathed in. “Do you?” Little bubble of everything he held inside expanded making it difficult to take in air.
“It’s New York. I’m not going to lie and say I ‘m thrilled about it but…I understand.”
Justin held his head in one hand. “You’re still not hearing me. I’m hanging up now.”
And he did.
###
Nights in the city consisted of an alternating cacophony of lights and sounds to a deadly silence where nothing moved…no one lived. The whispers of ghosts…of lives wasted away…dreams torn asunder permeated the air. Justin hated that part because it reminded him that everything he wanted couldn’t always be had.
And he wanted. A lot.
This city…this place borne of death and power, sometimes of beauty and love…it reminded him that he was leaving what mattered somewhere else.
“…..”
“Brian?”
“I fucking hate that you’re there.”
Justin held a breath, something tugging at his lips and heart.
“I see.”
“I want you here. But it’s not where you need to be.”
“Right.”
“So, you have to be there. Even if I want you here.”
“Brian.”
“Mmm?”
“Call me when you’re sober.”
This time Justin waited until there was a dial tone in his ear before hanging up his phone.
###
It could be said that New York offered Justin everything he wanted. Except for the dingy one-bedroom that he could barely afford with a roommate. Or the throngs of people knocking on his door to feature him as anything. He was less than nothing there. He waited tables at a near by diner and his tips were barely enough to cover expenses. He was starting to resent not being eighteen anymore.
But everything it didn’t give him was weighed by all those things it taught him. He was becoming his own man and he was happy for that. Those dawns where he stood at the grime-covered window of his four story walk-up looking out to where he knew one day he’d be, those were the moments it was worth it.
And in the end he knew it would afford him the only thing that really mattered.
“So…”
“So…”
“This is total bullshit, Justin. You love it there. I understand that.”
“Good.”
“Okay. So what’s with you, then? Why -”
“Because you’re not listening. I may not want to come home.”
“Alright! I heard the first hundred fucking times you said it.”
“No! You haven’t! Cause then you’d stop your self-scarifying shit and know that if I don’t come home, I fully fucking expect home to come to me!”
No response.
“So you know…just wanted you to figure that out on your own but you’re too damn stubborn, apparently.”
After an eternity of silence, Brian mumbled under his breath and Justin quirked an eyebrow. “Excuse me?”
“I said I can’t fucking read minds, Sunshine.”
Justin blinked…because really. This was Brian. And then that little bubble of something that always resided inside him burst open, letting out just a little bit of happiness. He laughed loud and hard.
“Shut up, you little shit.”
“I love you, too, Brian.”
2. I'd encourage your smiles, I'd expect you won't cry.
###
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2008-09-15 07:22 am (UTC)i feel kind of sad for the boys though. being apart and everything
but i like it.
no subject
Date: 2008-09-16 12:17 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-09-15 07:23 am (UTC)if i get more eloquent when i'm awake i'll comment again lol.
no subject
Date: 2008-09-16 12:18 am (UTC)You liked!
Woot!
no subject
Date: 2008-09-15 07:37 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-09-16 12:19 am (UTC)Thank you for reading!
no subject
Date: 2008-09-15 09:43 am (UTC)Thank you, so very, very much!
*Snuggles*
no subject
Date: 2008-09-16 12:22 am (UTC)You're welcome!
I'm happy you like it. :)
*hee*
no subject
Date: 2008-09-15 10:31 am (UTC)The part when Brian called Justin telling him he wanted Jutin home was heart-breaking:-'( I like Brian drunk cause then he'd say a lot of things he couldn't say sober, things that always make me cry.
And I'm glad Justin was laughing again in the end:)
I really liked this! :)) Looking forward to the next one tomorrow.
no subject
Date: 2008-09-16 12:25 am (UTC)I like the end. Laughter is always a good sign. :)
Thank you so much for reading! :)
no subject
Date: 2008-09-15 10:47 am (UTC)♥
no subject
Date: 2008-09-16 12:27 am (UTC)Thank you!
no subject
Date: 2008-09-15 10:50 am (UTC)Looking forward to part 2. And I hope your next chapter of It's Only Time will be ready soon too! =)
no subject
Date: 2008-09-16 12:28 am (UTC)It's one of the reasons I love it. It defies alot of things and it's complicated and shouldn't work but it just does and it's perfect. :)
Thank you! Working on more stuff so hopefully not too far off. :)
no subject
Date: 2008-09-15 11:52 am (UTC)*Hugs*
Amy
no subject
Date: 2008-09-16 12:30 am (UTC)I'm so glad you liked it. More tomorrow. :)
no subject
Date: 2008-09-15 01:16 pm (UTC)I loved these sort of one sided conversation with Justin waiting for Brian to... stop being as clueless as he is! Lol
Is it tomorrow yet?
no subject
Date: 2008-09-16 12:34 am (UTC)More tomorrow!
no subject
Date: 2008-09-15 01:55 pm (UTC)"So you know…just wanted you to figure that out on your own but you’re too damn stubborn, apparently.”
Poor Brian...he's his own worst enemy sometimes.
Can't wait to read the rest!
no subject
Date: 2008-09-16 12:37 am (UTC)I think this one is my favorite of all. Something about it just almost charmed ME. *lol*
More tomorrow!
Love's Tender Refrain
Date: 2008-09-15 05:09 pm (UTC)Re: Love's Tender Refrain
Date: 2008-09-16 12:45 am (UTC)And *blushes* at all the lovely compliments. :)
More tomorrow.
AND -- YOU ROCK ON WITH YOUR RIPLEY ICON! \O/!!!!!!!
no subject
Date: 2008-09-15 05:57 pm (UTC)I hate when they're apart, but Justin knew what he wanted. Brian had to actually hear the words to really understand what Justin wanted. I was clueless at first, but then I got it.
I loved the drunken phone call with Brian speaking from his heart.
Kim
no subject
Date: 2008-09-16 12:50 am (UTC)Thank you so much for reading, Kim.
Technically, they are together, just in different places. But you know...that could change. :)
no subject
Date: 2008-09-15 06:52 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-09-16 12:52 am (UTC)Thanks for reading!
no subject
Date: 2008-09-15 08:11 pm (UTC)and yes, sometimes Justin expects too much from Brian's comprehension... he hasn't learned how to read minds yet :)))
well done.
no subject
Date: 2008-09-16 12:54 am (UTC)They are still together, though. Just not physically together. *lol*
I know...this is Brian for cripes sake.
no subject
Date: 2008-09-15 10:17 pm (UTC)Love the strong and confident Justin who is not at all willing to give up anything in his life without a fight. His current life might not be perfect, but he feels so certain that he's exactly where he wants to be. It pours from every word. =)
I also love Brian, who is ready and supportive, but doesn't hide that he's hurt, in his own patented way.
Aw, these two, seriously. lol
You got them both post-S5 perfect here.
Justin breathed in. “Do you?” Little bubble of everything he held inside expanded making it difficult to take in air.
It's those little, gorgeous details that make your stories so special and unmistakably yours.
He was becoming his own man and he was happy for that. Those dawns where he stood at the grime-covered window of his four story walk-up looking out to where he knew one day he’d be, those were the moments it was worth it.
You go, Justin!
Love that image. It's so apt and vivid.
“No! You haven’t! Cause then you’d stop your self-scarifying shit and know that if I don’t come home, I fully fucking expect home to come to me!”
Yes, you tell him!
And Brian's reaction was so priceless and somewhat cute, no wonder Justin had to laugh.
Wonderful start! Can't wait for lots more of these beautiful installments.
♥
no subject
Date: 2008-09-16 06:06 am (UTC)It's those little, gorgeous details that make your stories so special and unmistakably yours.
Oh, thank you! *blushes*
Justin going off on Brian is my favorite part. *lol* I think Brian's reaction is very IC.
no subject
Date: 2008-09-16 01:36 am (UTC)chelle
no subject
Date: 2008-09-16 06:08 am (UTC)Thank you!
no subject
Date: 2008-09-16 01:42 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-09-16 06:08 am (UTC)Plum is the best and I wanted to do something great for her. :)
no subject
Date: 2008-09-16 02:10 pm (UTC)“I’m already operating under that assumption, Sunshine. So, if that’s making you feel guilty then just fucking stop.”
.....so sad, he is still so insecure about Justin's love for him.
Justin, next time, less of the subtlety o.k.?
As he said....“I said I can’t fucking read minds, Sunshine.”
Absolutely loved this, and we get nine more chapters. Does happy dance.
no subject
Date: 2008-09-17 03:42 am (UTC)I love Justin here, though. He didn't push Brian right off the bat. Just kinda nudged him to see if he would GET it. He didn't LOL.
Thank you! More is up now!
no subject
Date: 2008-09-16 07:30 pm (UTC)Wow! I love. More?
no subject
Date: 2008-09-17 03:43 am (UTC)Part 2
Date: 2008-09-17 04:31 am (UTC)Re: Part 2
Date: 2008-09-19 04:14 pm (UTC)Thank you!
no subject
Date: 2008-09-18 03:48 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-09-19 04:20 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-09-25 07:00 am (UTC)On to the next, Rory
no subject
Date: 2008-09-26 05:50 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-11-04 02:33 pm (UTC)No response.
“So you know…just wanted you to figure that out on your own but you’re too damn stubborn, apparently.”
*cheers*
Brian is stubborn and sometimes clueless.
Thanks for sending me the link. :X
no subject
Date: 2009-03-03 01:25 am (UTC)