freakykat | Fic: Indebted (QaF, Brian/Justin) Chapter Nine: Things You Don't Say...

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Title: Indebted
Chapter: Nine - Things You Don't Say
Sequel/Series: series
Author:

freakykat
Time Frame: Takes place during 3rd season starting after 3.04 - AU timelime
Summary: Justin and Brian find their lives intwine no matter what they do.
Rating: NC-17
Notes: Lovely beta

wouldbedorothy. As always I am in YOUR debt.
Disclaimer: I own none of this. I has no money. Please don't sue.

All previous Indebted chapters

Indebted

Chapter Nine: Things you don’t say...

“I made one fucking mistake!” Ethan argued, face red and blotchy from tears forced out.

Justin clenched his hands into fists and stuffed some more of his clothes into the duffel bag he’d borrowed from Daphne. He had stopped listening to the chattering an hour ago when he’d packed away his art supplies. He didn’t give a shit what Ethan had to say.

He was a liar.

He turned in that instant, threw a shirt across the room at Ethan, and spit out what was running through his mind. “You’re a liar!” Ethan’s mouth hung open in shock and Justin took it as his chance. “Everything you spewed at me about romance and love was bullshit. Bull. Shit.”

Ethan shook his head. “You never believed me. We were fighting all the time. You wouldn’t be with me.”

“Once!” Justin threw his hands up in exasperation. “I said no once! And I had my reasons for it.”

“Brian!”

“Yes! Brian! I didn’t want to share that day with you.”

Ethan crossed his arms and glared at him. “And you think that’s fair? That he gets to keep that part of you?”

Justin shook his head. “I loved him, Ethan. No, scratch that. I love him. Did I think it was fair not to taint that? Yes, I think it was fair. To all of us. Because I would have been thinking of him while I was with you. And I would have been with you while I was thinking of him. I didn’t want to do that.”

Ethan pointed at Justin. “I needed something, Justin. I was lonely.”

Justin laughed harshly. “So, because I wasn’t with you one fucking time, you decided to pick up an admirer?!” Justin thought of Jake’s face and rubbed a hand down his own. “And what about Jake? He’s a nice guy. He’s sweet, and he really cared about you. You fucked him over, Ethan. You weren’t just cheating on me. You were cheating on him with someone else.”

Ethan was struck speechless. There was no excuse for what he had done to Jake. He had cared about him, too. But it was all mixed in anger and jealousy. He’d used him. They had all used each other. “You never loved me, did you?”

Justin paused in mid-zip and sighed, turning to glance behind him. “Not the way I loved him, no. You were there when… I was lost. I didn’t know how to reach Brian, and without each other… we lose our way. I see that now. There was -- it was how it was. But I shouldn’t have used you to run away from him.”

Ethan’s eyes watered, real tears perhaps this time. “Is that what it was, then? Running away?”

Justin nodded. “Yes. See, I lost Justin. After the bashing, I was scared and I held on too tightly. The more I held on, the more Brian wanted me to stop. We wanted each other, we turned to each other, but it was all tangled with the pain of the bashing, the guilt and the anger.” Justin laughed a little. “If you had met me before Chris Hobbs and his bat, you wouldn’t have had a chance.”

Ethan snorted. “Thanks.”

Justin shrugged. “It’s true. That Justin… he wouldn’t have been scared to fight Brian. He would have given as good as he got. He would have stuck it out. He had the guts. He knew who he was. Me… this Justin? No idea.”

He flung the bag over his shoulder, heading for the door, turning to look at the flowers on the table that would wilt and die, at the apartment he’d wanted to believe he belonged in, and finally at the boy standing just inside the room. The one he’d convinced himself he loved.

“I am sorry about whatever I did that hurt you,” Justin said quietly, nodding at the phone. “Maybe you should think about making a few apologies yourself.”

Ethan took a deep breath. “Why can’t you forgive me? You forgave Brian!”

Justin scowled at Ethan. “I never forgave Brian. I never had to. Because he never promised me anything.” He met Ethan’s eyes. “You did.”

“And that’s the difference?”

Justin shook his head. “Not the only one. The promises you made were lies, Ethan. You know that, and so do I. Brian gave me something else. He believed in me. He trusted me. And he thought I was in it with him. Even if he would never in a million fucking years admit that.” Justin could see clearly now, when he couldn’t then. “He treated me… like a man. Like I could make my own decision. Good or bad.”

When Ethan said nothing in return, Justin nodded one last time and closed the door behind him, soundly.

It was over.

Now he could begin again…

“Fuck you, Brian,” Mel hissed from her hospital bed, arms crossed across her chest, glaring at him. “That’s blackmail.”

Brian leaned one hip against the low table in the corner, one eyebrow lifting in response. He wasn’t in the mood to argue. That midnight call two days ago about Mel being in the hospital had made him feel something he rarely felt… guilt. When he’d seen Lindsey’s face at the townhouse, the way Gus seemed to sense what was off, Mikey’s worried expression… he’d felt like it was all his fault.

The fact that Mel was fine and going home, probably that day, hadn’t made him feel any better. So, he’d made a decision, and he was going to make sure she agreed, even if it killed her.

“Like hell it is. It’s a mutually beneficial agreement. You promise to take it easy, and I promise to let you keep handling everything in hopes of my death.” He said it matter-of-factly, half joking, but sobered when Mel paled.

She leaned forward, searching his face. “Is there something you aren’t telling me, Brian?” Her brown eyes narrowed, waiting for his response. “Did the doctor say something more? Something worse?”

“Worse? I’m not sure telling me the cancer has progressed and I’m going to need surgery or I’ll die can really be beat at the moment, Melanie.”

Closing her eyes, she leaned her head against the pillow. “I’m sorry…”

“Don’t.”

Her eyes opened and met his across the small expanse of the room. She opened her mouth, but he held up his hand.

“I can’t take you feeling sorry for me, Mel. If you give me pity, I’m dead.”

The truth of that was harsh, but she appreciated it. Nodding, she sat up a little straighter. “Fine. But we make a deal here and now.”

Brian quirked his eyebrow at her, and she took that as acquiescence for her to continue.

“You don’t tell me how to live my life.”

“I don‘t tell you how to live…”

She stopped him with a glare. “I wasn’t finished… You don’t advise me how to live my life unless you’re willing to listen to what I have to say about yours.”

Brian waved a hand in her direction.

“You need someone with you at the operation.”

Brian shook his head. “I can handle it. I told you.”

“I know you did. But I had planned on… It doesn’t matter. I don’t think you should do this alone. I want you to let someone go with you.” When he began to argue, she threw out her last card. “I’ll back off you about telling everyone, and I’ll take better care of myself if you do that.”

There was a pause and then Mel heard a muttered, “Bitch.”

She leaned back and smirked at him. “Asshole.” She stuck her hand out and Brian took it in his. Their deal sealed, she smiled up at him. “I already have someone ready to go. They have their ticket and will meet you at the airport.”

Brian shook his head. “Fucking lawyers.” He grimaced and asked. “Is it… you didn’t tell…?”

Mel didn’t say anything, just waved a hand and sent him out of her room. “Don’t fucking worry about it. Even I wouldn’t torture a sick man by sending Debbie or Michael. Besides, I promised, right?” She nodded at him when he opened her door to leave. “Trust me.”

He snorted and was halfway out the door when she called his name. Sticking his head back in, he looked at her.

Mel met his eyes as she spoke. “Tell him. He deserves to know.” When he didn’t say anything in response, she said quietly. “And Brian? I hope everything comes out okay.”

Brian nodded. “Me, too.”

Nothing like the sounds of Babylon… the groans, the wet smack of blowjobs, the smell of skin and sweat and fucking… to make him feel… like himself. Brian sauntered through the rooms, glancing at bodies surrendering to desires… nodded at Todd as he passed by… he waited for that familiar rush… for anything that made him want… only found emptiness.

He wanted to fuck until he had nothing left. Before he became less of what he was. He needed that release. The fucking treatments had wiped him out. He hadn’t wanted, needed to… except when he and Justin….

It was like his thoughts materialized suddenly and he found that he was looking at the back of familiar blond hair. He blinked a few times, sure that what he was seeing was his mind playing tricks. It tended to do that a lot with Justin. Brian saw him in every fucking corner. When Justin didn’t dissipate into thin air, Brian let the confusion peek through his cold exterior. He watched Justin thrust into the twink he had pinned to the wall, and that desire that eluded him flared inside almost painfully.

When the fuck would he stop wanting the little shit?

Justin’s head turned slightly and caught Brian’s eyes, and he faltered for a second. When Brian didn’t look away, Justin slowed his thrusts, blue eyes smoldering at him… challenging… wanting…

Waiting.

He was waiting.

Brian turned away, but the pull of those eyes brought him back. He grabbed at a nearby body, pushing the guy to his knees, and stared at Justin. Returning the challenge. He didn’t wonder why he was here and not with his boyfriend. He didn’t think about the fact that he wasn’t with Brian. He just stared into blue eyes. Stomach dropping when Justin’s mouth opened slightly and his body bent forward. He could feel him now. He could pretend that the warmth surrounding his hard cock was Justin. He could do that and it wouldn’t be like he’d given in.

Justin gave a soft groan, eyes fluttered shut just a fraction, but still on Brian’s face. Brian pushed into the mouth on him harder, faster. When Justin’s eyes glanced down for just a moment, Brian let out his own groan. He watched the slow entrance and retreat of Justin’s cock into the warm body in front of him. Remembered the taste… the smell…

Brian knew this wouldn’t do. He wanted. Now. Fuck everything else.

Pushing off the mouth wrapped around him, he ignored the comments that followed his steps. Blue eyes followed his approach, deepening into a darker hue when he stopped at their side. No words. They’d never needed them. Brian stroked his cock, smirking when Justin’s eyes flicked down to watch. Stepping directly behind Justin, he heard the distressed moan Justin made at losing sight of Brian.

He could make that better.

One hand slid over the exposed skin of Justin’s back, trailing fingers until they rested on one hip. Gripping tightly, Brian leaned his forehead on Justin’s shoulder, inhaling deeply. He licked a stripe of exposed skin, biting down firmly and quickly placing a kiss in the same spot. Justin leaned back, trying make contact with Brian. He whimpered when he felt nothing but air. “Brian.”

“Shut up, Sunshine.”

Justin bit his lip when Brian’s hand smoothed a path from his hip to rest at his stomach. He felt when the fingers splayed out on his skin, and he leaned back again. He could feel the movement of Brian’s other hand behind him. Knew that he was stroking, pumping… jerking off to Justin fucking.

Brian was panting in his ear, soft groans escaping, and Justin wanted to see him. Watch Brian bring himself off. Wanted to do it for him. He remembered suddenly that they weren’t alone when there was a muttered complaint from the body he was still pinning to the wall.

“Hey, come on.”

Justin blinked, rock hard inside this stranger, but wanting only Brian. Out of nowhere, Brian’s voice whispered in his ear, “Fuck him, Sunshine. I want to see you make him come.”

Justin shuddered, snapping his hips forward, hearing the relief in the other guy’s voice. He hurried his pace, every pull back bringing him into contact with Brian, and he found he was begging. “Brian…. please….”

He felt Brian stop, his hands now both on Justin’s hips, pushing him forward, hard. Deep. Justin choked on his own scream, seeing stars behind his closed eyelids. He gritted his teeth, forcing himself not to give in. The rhythm was sloppy, fast and hungry. Justin heard and felt the body in front of him stutter and moan and then still.

Not giving a damn about anything else but being with Brian. Touching Brian. Just them. He pulled out, turning to stare at darkened hazel eyes. He was still hard, and all he needed was Brian inside. Now. He gripped Brian’s shirt, bringing their faces barely an inch apart. Justin’s words fell against Brian’s lips. “I want you inside. Now.”

Brian started to speak, but Justin stopped the words with his mouth, sucking on tongue and lips and skin. He brought one hand down and gripped Brian’s flushed cock in his hand, slowing pulling on it.

“I need you inside me, Brian.” Licking the small jut of Brian’s chin, he muttered a needy, “Please.”

Justin was pushed against the wall. He grinned at the face that looked down at him, helped the hands that pushed his pants down, and Justin stepped out of them, not giving a fuck where he was. He heard the foil of the condom, the click of lube, and arched out a moan when Brian’s fingers penetrated him, pushing and opening. Justin lifted one leg, resting it on Brian’s hip, and he wanted to cry when another finger joined the first. He wanted Brian… the hard flesh filling him up. He was ready to promise anything when he felt Brian’s cock push against him, stretching and burning. The gurgle he let out was indiscernible.

Justin’s hand gripped on Brian’s shoulder for balance, and he pushed down when Brian moved in. He moved his other leg up, wrapping both of them around Brian, and felt the shift when Brian leaned down, gripping Justin’s ass. They groaned in unison at the tightness. It felt fucking wonderful.

Brian pumped frantically, his heart pounding in his ears. Justin’s ass sheathed his dick and he felt… so fucking much. Everything he had been missing. His legs were shaking from the exertion of holding onto Justin. He could hear Justin’s head hitting the wall, the now unending groans and calling of his name. It made him harder, if possible, and he pushed in more. Knew he hit that spot when all Justin could say was, “Fuck me.”

Justin had one hand braced on the wall, the other sliding on his cock. His half closed eyes were focused on Brian’s face, swollen lips glistening in temptation. Brian breathed in, wanted to have his mouth on those lips, taste the skin, fill his mouth with the purple, engorged head of Justin’s cock. Tasting Justin…

He managed to nip a kiss or two, suck in Justin’s bottom lip, and then he felt as Justin’s orgasm hit him hard. Felt sticky heat on his chest and that was all he needed. One, two more flicks of his hips, and he came. Brian growled out Justin’s name, let it roll out and through him.

They stayed still, Brian inside Justin for several minutes, both wanting to find a sense of steadiness before releasing one another. He felt Justin shift his legs down, not looking at him as he heard the rustle of clothes, the sound of a zipper. Brian concentrating on straightening his clothes. When he was done and ready, he looked up into blue eyes that locked with his.

Justin closed the distance between them, wrapping arms around his neck, and attacked his mouth, licking his way inside. Brian clenched his hands at his sides, but when the kiss softened and Justin moaned sweetly, he gave in, wrapped his arms around Justin’s and pulled him in. Justin craned his neck back, dueling for power, his insides becoming a torrent of happy emotions.

When Justin pulled back finally, he could see the fear in Brian’s eyes, and now he knew what it meant. And he knew what to do.

He kissed him softly and whispered, “I’m on to you, Kinney.”

Brian blinked in surprise, and Justin grinned at him, releasing his hold and taking a step back.

“I love you, you son of a bitch. You love me, too. Whether you accept it or not. So fucking deal with it.” He kissed him one last time before stepping around him and heading toward the exit. He could feel Brian’s eyes follow him as he walked away…

Taylor: One.

Kinney: Zero.

Chapter Ten

***

Yes, it is indeed an update. *grins*

Current Mood: chipper
Current Location: sleepy town...
Current Music: nothing...

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From:

msv713.livejournal.com

Smiles!!! Loved the update. Intrigued who is going to go with Brian.

From:

like a skyscraper

Fic: Indebted (QaF, Brian/Justin) Chapter Nine: Things You Don't Say...

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