Say It Right: Part Three (RPS, Gale/Randy)

[freakykat]

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Disclaimer: I neither know nor own Gale or Randy. Nor any of the other peoples. This is NOT real. It is fiction based on an overactive imagination and lots of QAF viewing. None of the events in this story have happened. Thank you for your time!

Title: Say It Right (3/12)
Author: freakykat
Pairing: Gale/Randy...in the end
Rating: R
Series/Sequel: Part 3
Summary: Sometimes saying the right words is the hardest thing to do.
Warnings: m/m sex, if you don't like that kind of thing, away with you. If you do, enjoy! Tons of language, slight angst, illness, but much humor in this part.
Author's Notes: Sorry everyone for the delay of this part. I got distracted by other fics and couldn't give this the attention it needed. I should get it out more frequently now. Deepest thanks to plumduff for beta'ing and her encouragement! This chapter was a mess before she oh so wonderfully cleaned it up for me. Thank you dearest! Feedback loved, nurtured and petted!

Parts: |1|2|

Say It Right (3/12)


These are the times
I wanna crawl in a hole

And these are the rhymes
that try to soothe my soul

But your grace is the drug
that makes the pain worthwhile ~ AHS


He hated hospitals.

Gale almost laughed at the thought because really who the fuck liked hospitals, aside from the doctors and nurses that lived to torture the patients with endless tests and tubes and disgusting food. He pushed his head back into his pillow, listening to the soft padding outside his door. The soft murmur of quiet voices grated on his nerves making him want to jump out of his skin with impatience.

He scratched at the itch in his arm, careful not to pull out the IV drip that was connected to it, remembering the pain in the ass it was to get back in. Apparently his veins liked to rebel against having bits of metal stuck in them and it had taken the two nurses an hour to find them. In the process he had been stuck repeatedly with the needle. He glanced at the purple and black bruises that were fading to yellow.

He hated this feeling of listlessness that seemed to spring up whenever he was alone, which these days was often. His mind would wander to places and…people he knew it was better to forget. He hated being here. He hated being sick. He was pissed off and with no strength to do anything about it.

His eyes scanned the darkening room, restless and irritated at his lack of mobility. His gaze fell on the dozens of bouquets that lined every available space in his room. It made him slightly nervous that complete strangers knew his whereabouts. He was aware that his collapse and hospitalization had made the news but it still left him feeling uneasy. But he was grateful for their kindness. The flowers, letters and presents were designed to make him feel better and he knew that most were selfless acts of caring. Something had changed between him and the general public in the last few months. He was grateful for the fans that before had seemed almost a nuisance. They had helped pass the long days and nights.

Punching his pillow hard, he flipped it over to the cool side, sighing at the feel of it against his skin. His eyes fell to his bedside, smiling at the book that sat there. 1001 Dirty Jokes lay face down where Hal had left it during his visit. Gale actually laughed remembering the look on the nurse’s face when Hal had read her the filthiest ones he could find.

Hal had been a rock. Visiting as often as he could. It was a haul from California to New York and each time he showed up he would reassure Gale that he was there for a show or audition. Gale pretended to believe him. This was his fourth visit in almost as many days and though Gale appreciated it, he was determined to tell Hal to go home regardless of his condition.

Not that Gale planned to be in the hospital for much longer. This had been his second go round, the first a bad reaction to the medicine he was given. It had been fairly routine. This time had been very different. But now the infection had cleared up and his doctor had assured him, notwithstanding any other complications, he could return home in a few days.

The scare had been enough for Gale and everyone around him. The pneumonia had hit swiftly and hard. His immune system weakened by the chemo had given in quickly and it had been touch and go for a while. Gale had barely realized the cold had turned to something more serious. He’d collapsed at home and no one had been sure how long he’d been out.

He remembered waking up for a moment and seeing -- or at least thinking he’d seen through the haze of drugs and pain -- Randy’s face hovering, cool fingers on his head and then darkness. He was unconscious for a few more days before waking and not knowing where he was. He’d been surprised to see Neil and Peter talking quietly in the corner of a room he’d never been in before.

When he’d croaked out a “Hello boys”, they’d both jumped a foot. Neil ran out of the room to get the doctor and Peter had stroked his hair while explaining to him in a low voice what had happened and where he was. He had felt the weight of sleep falling on him but forced his eyes to remain open and he’d asked, words slurring,

“whey’sandi?”

Peter had glanced at Neil as he burst into the room, followed by the doctor, before asking, “I couldn’t understand that Gale.”

The effort had cost him but he’d asked again, more clearly. “Where’s Randy?”

Peter had smiled then. “He had to go home but he said he’d be back as soon as he could. Told me to give you something if you woke up before he got back.” He’d leaned in and planted a warm kiss on Gale’s lips as he’d drifted back into unconsciousness.

That had been five days ago and Gale had constant visitors except for the one he wanted. Not that he wasn’t moved by his former co-stars and friends’ show of support. Scotty had come bearing books and CDs. He told him news of the outside world and of his own life. Suddenly, in the middle of a sentence, he’d stopped and in an extremely uncharacteristic move, he’d hugged Gale, whispering, “If you ever do that to us again, I’ll kill you.“ He’d let go of him then and returned to the story he’d been telling.

Michelle was stuck on set of her newest movie but she’d called everyday, promising to come see him when she was done. He hated to admit but he was relieved she couldn’t make it. They had a complicated history.

Thea and Bobby had flown in from LA, bringing his favorite Italian dishes and each taking turns fussing over him. There was some awkwardness between Bobby and Peter. Gale wasn’t sure when they had broken up and he made a mental note to ask whenever he had some time alone with Peter.

Hal had shown up almost every day with new jokes, new stories and a new idea as to how they could work this into a Queer as Folk reunion show.

“Brian gets cancer.”

Gale had looked at him. “Are you high? That already happened, Hal.”

“Yes but this time it would be, you know, important.”

“Hey! What, losing a ball was nothing?! I think Brian resents that, Hal.”

“Maybe this time it could last for more than, like, four episodes.” Hal rolled his eyes and Gale laughed.

“Oh shut up.” Then after a moment, he’d grinned. “Maybe Michael can get cancer.”

“Hey!” Hal started, then paused. “It could work.”

“I was kidding. He’d be too whiney. You’d want him to kick the bucket by the end.”

Hal thought for a moment, nodding and handing him one of the brownies he’d snuck in. “Good point.”

They’d laughed between mouthfuls of chocolate and vowed to write to Ron and Dan about it. Gale knew it would now be an inside joke they’d share for years to come.

His biggest surprise had been the visit from Jack and Harris. They’d shown up together, both having been in New York to work on what had turned out to be the same project. As soon as they heard, they’d rented a car and driven up to see him. Harris had hugged him hard when he’d seen him and Jack had kissed his forehead, vowing, like Scotty, to cause damage if he ever scared him again.

Harris had brought his laptop and an array of movies to pick from. They’d spent the better part of a day, watching some old favorites while attempting to figure out which actors were gay. Gale had assured Harris that it wasn’t as simple as it seemed to tell. He’d ignored Jack’s knowing look.

When Sharon had shown up, grabbing a hold of him, teary-eyed and cursing like only she could, Gale had wanted to break down. He had no real family and Sharon’s tenderness reminded him of how much he missed that in his life. She’d fussed over him, finding extra blankets when he got cold, asking about his medication and the status of his illness. Squeezing his hand whenever a wave of nausea would pass over him. She’d told him about her niece, Bridget’s, new baby boy. He’d laughed at the stories she’d told of Barney and his insistent need to putter with her garden.

She’s brought up what he had avoided thinking about.

“Has your better half been around to see you?”

Gale met her questioning gaze with one of his own. “Sorry?”

“Randy. Has Randy been up to see you?” Sharon had pressed, her hands playing with the strands of her sweater. “I was expecting him to be here.” It was said nonchalantly and Gale had hidden his smile. Sharon had always been more perceptive then most.

“They tell me he was here when I was brought in and stayed until the day before I woke up. He had to go home.”

“And he hasn’t come back yet?”

“Sharon, I’m sure he’s busy.”

“Has he called?”

Gale refused to answer and heard Sharon’s muttered cursing. Randy would have to be careful and avoid her for a while. He squeezed her hand and smiled. “He was here, Sharon. It’s all that matters.”

At least to Gale, it was all he needed to know. That he hadn’t destroyed their friendship with his fear-induced confession of love. That Randy still cared enough to have spent sleepless nights alongside Neil and Peter while his condition had been bad. Peter had seemed happy that Randy had been there. Gale knew that Neil’s silence was his way of keeping Gale from hoping too much. Since Randy hadn’t returned to see him since before he’d woken up, Neil’s mood would darken anytime they would mention Randy. Gale was starting to suspect there was more than what Neil was telling him.

There was a knock on the door and it opened to reveal a head of curly brown ringlets. The head turned to look at him and grinned, “You awake, you handsome devil?”

Gale felt his face break into a grin. “Mak! Get your ass in here sweetheart.” She hurried through the door, hair sweeping behind her and she pounced on him, kissing his cheek and hugging him at the same time. Gale brought his arms around her waist, squeezing lightly.

Makyla had been one of the best people he’d ever met. At eighteen, she’d made him laugh with her wicked sense of humor and very grown up wit. It was the reason he knew she and Randy had gotten along so well. And despite their more then a decade age gap she and Gale had clicked from their first real conversation, which had been, strangely enough, about the Phoenix tattoo that covered her lower back. It had ended with Randy catching them stoned out of their minds and laughing about the worst tattoos they had seen. It had been the start of a wonderful friendship.

After the show had ended, she’d made an effort to keep in touch with him, calling him once a month or sending a letter. He’d returned the gesture, even though he’d never been very good at that, and their friendship had deepened despite their many differences.

At twenty-six, she was now more beautiful then ever. In their last exchange, she’d mentioned wanting to return to acting part time between saving the environment. He’d told her she was a promising lawyer and her mind would go to waste if she re-entered the entertainment industry. She’d told him to fuck off and had managed to get a role in a Toronto based version of “A Raisin in the Sun”.

When she pulled back, he saw the wetness on her face and wiped it with his hand. “Hey. I’m good. Don’t worry about it.” Gale frowned, recalling something. “Oh shit. I missed opening night didn’t I?”

“Fuck opening night Gale.” Her serious brown eyes looked pained. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

He sighed at her quiet accusation. “I didn’t want anyone to worry Mak. It was -- it is under control and I --”

“And you’re a stubborn son of a bitch who thinks that you have to do everything on your own. Who refuses to admit that there are people who love and care for him.” She patted his hand gently. “We’re not like them, Gale. Family is family to us.” When he refused to acknowledge that she asked, exasperated, “Did you at least tell Neil?”

“Yes I told Neil. I had no choice since he was the one who made me go get a check-up.” Gale paused, looking down at his fingers. “And I told Randy.”

Makyla nodded, then hearing the implications of what he had said, stared at him, mouth gaping open. “You told Randy?” She held her hands up. “Told told Randy?!”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“But Gale --”

“Mak.” He raised bleak hazel eyes to hers. “Please.” He patted the seat next to him. “Tell me what’s happening.”

She sighed, holding her hands out in surrender. “Fine.” Gale found he was annoyed that she felt he couldn’t take a fight. She answered his query. “Nothing much going on. Did I tell you one of my dearest friends is in the hospital from complications he received while fighting the cancer he never mentioned he had? And apparently, he declared his love to the only person he has ever loved but won’t tell me about it. Other than that, it’s all peachy.”

Gale chuckled. So much for her giving in. “You don’t give up do you?”

“Nope.” She pulled something out of her pocket, palming it and saying slyly. “How often do they come check up on you?“

Gale raised an eyebrow. This was interesting. “Unless something is off on the monitors, I guess every four hours or so. Why?“

Mak grinned at him, checking his charts. “So they were just in here?“

Gale laughed. “Yeah. Less than an hour ago. What are you doing, Mak?“

“You’re going to want to be nice to me, my dear.” She opened her hand, revealing the toke in her hand. “Peter told me they re-started the chemo treatments yesterday. I figured you could use this.”

Gale smiled like a kid on Christmas morning. “Mak.”

“Shh!“ She took a lighter out, running to the window and prying it open. She signaled him to be quiet while she stuck her head out the door to check the hallways. “All clear.“ She brought her head back in, walking to his side and joined him on the bed, giving him a curious look. “What were you going to say?” She lit the toke, handing it to him for his first hit.

Gale knew it was probably bad for him but -- fuck-- it felt good to hold it, smell it…he inhaled…long and deep. Let the smoke burn until he sensed that numbing in his lungs and released it into the air. The smile he sent Makyla was wobbly and sweet. “Will you marry me?”

“In your dreams, Harold.”



The edges of his vision were hazy, almost like one of those old movies where everything was out of focus except one object. For him it was the hand that held the smoking nub of chronic near his face. There was an earthquake shaking his whole body, Gale thought. Except that was the only thing shaking. Everything else in the room seemed firm and steady. He realized the vibrations were coming from Mak’s laughter.

What were they talking about? He grabbed what was left of the home-made blunt from Mak’s hand, trying to focus his mind.

Oh right. Embarrassing moments.

“I can’t believe your braces got stuck together!” Mak convulsed with laughter, body coiled on the space next to him. “That’s just gross.” She stopped, sputtering between air and giggles. “I can’t believe that didn’t turn you off women completely.”

And they were back here again…talking about his preferences. Gale never understood that. Who the fuck cared if he liked men, women, monkeys…

“Monkeys?” Makyla almost shrieked with laughter now.

Had he said that out loud? “It was just an example, Mak.” He liked monkeys. They were cute. Funny even. He wouldn’t marry one but he wasn’t one to believe in marriage anyway…He pulled up, leaning on one elbow to stare at her. “Why is the world obsessed with my love life?”

“Or lack thereof.” Makyla added, searching her pockets for the other joint she’d snuck in.

“Right. It’s my business, you know. Mine. Me and me alone. No one else needs to know or care or bother with it. Just moi. You get what I’m saying?”

“That’s your business if you’re in love with your ex-costar?”

“Exactly!” He brought one finger to his nose. Mak understood. She got it. Heck, she had been the first one to figure it out and confront him about it. Gale smiled at the memory, some random getting high party they’d had in his trailer with Peter. He giggled at the memory. They had both pretended to not know afterwards but it had been out there.

He sobered slightly as a thought hit his head. “Mak?”

“Hmm?”

“How many people know about the thing -- you know the thing with Randy?”

“You mean that you’re in love with him?”

Gale smiled at that, saying wistfully. “Yeah.” Somewhere the logical part of his brain was screaming that he was being a complete retard but happy Gale refused to listen. He’d deal with him later.

“Oh. Pretty much everyone. Me. Peter. Scotty. I think Sharon knew. Thea for sure. Hal has some sort of bet going. Robert asked me once. Probably Michelle. Not sure about Harris. Jack must have. Even Ron and Dan suspected but of course they never said anything cause…well it doesn’t matter.”

Gale tried to focus. That was everyone. Everyone knew. “Fuck.”

“Well Gale. I mean it was obvious. Especially after the debacle when Randy started dating Simon.”

“What debacle?”

Makyla rolled her eyes. “Gale, you didn’t speak to him for a good six months.”

“I talked to him.”

“Going over the script and bullshit small talk notwithstanding, you avoided Randy like the plague. You have no idea how much that hurt him.”

Gale had hurt Randy? “I didn’t mean to hurt him.” He barely heard the words as he said them. He had a thought. “Should I send him something to apologize? Flowers or something?”

Makyla squinted at him. “What the fuck?” She waved her hand in his face. “You’re high, Gale.”

Gale snorted. “Kettle. Meet Pot.”

“Touché.”

They laid in silence, breathing steady and Gale felt the pleasure of numbness, the quiet of it wash over him in waves. It was the first time he’d felt comfortable in as long as he could remember. “So I love him.”

“I know.”

“Why is that such a big deal? People fall in love all the time. Especially with unattainable people.”

Makyla scrunched her forehead. “You think he’s unattainable.”

Neither one of them heard the scrape of the door as it opened, letting in a lone figure, who stood and stared at them.

Gale gave another snort, longer this time. “Of course he is.”

“Because of --”

“No. I mean, that’s part of it but -- he’s too good for me.” Gale finished plainly.

“That’s not true.”

“He doesn’t love me that way, Mak. I don’t expect him to. I’m not enough.”

“Gale.”

“I never am. But what I was trying to say before we got into all this, which I didn’t want to by the way, was that it shouldn’t matter to anyone who I love or why.” His tongue was heavy, words slightly slurring. “It’s my business who I choose to love, how I choose to love and the rest of the world can go fuck themselves if they don’t get it.”

Makyla had caught sight of something and froze, one hand gripping Gale’s shoulder. “Um…Gale.”

He ignored her, passion and lulling smoke filling him with courage. “My point was love is love is love. No one has the right to tell me I can‘t love Randy, not even Randy.” He tried to continue that thought but found only blank space so he just shrugged to end it. He turned his head to look at Mak, whose face was buried in one hand.

“Mak?”

“Very eloquent, Shakespeare.”

The voice drifted from somewhere in the room and even in his bubble of pain-free, medicated bliss, Gale recognized it. He pushed up, eyes finding blue ones across the room. Despite the wariness and maybe even fear he saw there, he grinned brightly.

“Hi Rands.”

|4|

Comments

Re: B

[freakykat.livejournal.com]

Girl you crack me up! LOL. I understand the warm fuzzy while Gale suffers. Though I'm nothing like Mak. And though I doubt I would be like you around Gale,(God help him lol) I know I probably wouldn't be able to speak LOL.

Thank you so much for reading sweetie!

Love you back!