Fic: Affliction (Luke/Noah, follow up to ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
noelleleithe's "Over",
Aug. 5th, 2010 03:28 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
freakykatTitle: Affliction
Author:freakykat
Rating: NC-17
Characters/Pairings: Luke/Noah
Warnings: Angst, huge spoilers
Word count: 853 words
Summary: They were afflicted with him and paid a price that was too high. .
Author's notes: Yes, it goes on and on my friends. Continued due tonoelleleithe's ridiculous amazingness. Follow-up to Wrong (by noelleleithe), Maybe (by me), and Over (by noelleleithe), be sure to read those first. Beta by the awesome wouldbedorothy!
Affliction
He stood in the middle of the long hospital hallway and stared at the large image displayed on the wall just inside the newly built wing.
Reid's voice was loud in his head: I died and all I got was this lousy Kinko's blow-up picture.
Luke felt that tug of disbelief just beneath his skin, that hot rush of guilt and pain every time he thought of Reid. How in the last minutes of Reid's life, all Luke had wanted was someone else, had belonged to another man.
He had loved Reid. He had to have.
Reid had been what Luke told himself he needed. Someone who wanted him, who wasn't afraid to risk showing it.
His mind flashed to those moments beside Noah's truck before it all shattered apart… the look of utter joy on Noah's face when he took Luke into his mouth, eyes fluttering shut at the first taste… and Luke wiped a hand across his face.
He was hard.
Luke felt the bile rise up in his mouth. Reid was dead and Luke still wanted someone else. It ate at him every time he looked at Noah. Every time his friend – because that was all that Noah was now, all he could be – comforted him. A part of Luke wanted to run screaming from the room but the bigger part, the selfish part, leaned into the warmth.
It always left a throbbing ache in his chest.
Sometimes that ache would spread to his entire body and Luke could barely breathe.
He stood in the middle of the hallway, gasping for air, hands leaning on his thighs to ease the constriction in his throat.
And then Noah appeared. Like he always did.
He took Luke's hand, turning one corner then the next until they reached an empty hospital room and slipped inside. Noah turned Luke to face him, holding onto his arms, and looked directly at him.
“Just breathe, Luke. It's okay. Just... breathe.”
The room began to close in around him, wavering at the sides, and Luke's vision focused on Noah, looking at him with so much concern and other things Luke couldn't want.
Luke realized that he was the problem. He did these things to people.
They were afflicted with him and paid a price that was too high.
Noah had died all those months back, however briefly, and that heat of guilt doubled with intensity. He almost lost Noah. It could have been Noah. The relief he felt that it wasn't Noah, that he hadn't left him...
“I think maybe I should get--”
Luke crushed his mouth against Noah's, ignoring the way he froze immediately, his hands working the buttons of Noah's shirt. He swatted Noah's fingers away when he tried to grasp onto Luke's hands, pulled back, whispering a hollow, “I need you. Please.”
He felt Noah struggle in silence, several moments passed and then hands moved over his hips, clutched Luke. It was too much and not anywhere near enough. They fumbled their way across the room, falling on the bed, fused together at the mouth. He pulled back hard, wanted to run his hands over Noah, to make sure he was real and there. He glanced up at cloudy blue, unsure and afraid.
They reflected back at him all that he felt.
Luke crawled up Noah's length, thighs straddling his hips and pushed down, groaned with the contact of their hard cocks through denim. Luke's hands groped for Noah's dick, pulled it out and worked on his own. Noah arched underneath him as Luke gripped them both together, slow and gentle thumb running over both their heads.
He brought his empty hand down on Noah's chest, flexed it over his heated skin. He rotated his hips, pushed their cocks into his strokes, gasping at the heat that pooled in his spine.
Luke felt that stretching in his chest, breathed the scent of them in, closed his eyes when Noah's hands clamped on his shoulders. He shuddered and came hard, felt the burning on his face. His breath hiccupped when Noah followed, warmth dripped sticky over his hands.
He felt Noah tense beneath him but couldn't stop the stuttering of his breath, the tears running down his cheeks. Noah shifted and Luke wasn't sure what he was doing when he reached for him. He wiped him clean with the sheet, tucked him back in and then his arms were around Luke. One of Noah's hands stroked his hair, rested on the back of Luke's neck and he buried his face there, in the crook that smelled like Noah underneath the scent of sweat and sex and Luke.
The dam Luke worked so hard on constructing tore apart and he held on to Noah, his apologies sinking into Noah's skin, his guilt pouring over them both. He wanted Noah so much. Still. Now. Probably forever.
Noah breathed into Luke's hair, soft kisses falling randomly.
“I'm here. I'm not going anywhere, Luke.”
Luke closed his eyes, tightened his hold and wished that it could have been true.
#
Author:
freakykatRating: NC-17
Characters/Pairings: Luke/Noah
Warnings: Angst, huge spoilers
Word count: 853 words
Summary: They were afflicted with him and paid a price that was too high. .
Author's notes: Yes, it goes on and on my friends. Continued due to
noelleleithe's ridiculous amazingness. Follow-up to Wrong (by noelleleithe), Maybe (by me), and Over (by noelleleithe), be sure to read those first. Beta by the awesome wouldbedorothy!Affliction
He stood in the middle of the long hospital hallway and stared at the large image displayed on the wall just inside the newly built wing.
Reid's voice was loud in his head: I died and all I got was this lousy Kinko's blow-up picture.
Luke felt that tug of disbelief just beneath his skin, that hot rush of guilt and pain every time he thought of Reid. How in the last minutes of Reid's life, all Luke had wanted was someone else, had belonged to another man.
He had loved Reid. He had to have.
Reid had been what Luke told himself he needed. Someone who wanted him, who wasn't afraid to risk showing it.
His mind flashed to those moments beside Noah's truck before it all shattered apart… the look of utter joy on Noah's face when he took Luke into his mouth, eyes fluttering shut at the first taste… and Luke wiped a hand across his face.
He was hard.
Luke felt the bile rise up in his mouth. Reid was dead and Luke still wanted someone else. It ate at him every time he looked at Noah. Every time his friend – because that was all that Noah was now, all he could be – comforted him. A part of Luke wanted to run screaming from the room but the bigger part, the selfish part, leaned into the warmth.
It always left a throbbing ache in his chest.
Sometimes that ache would spread to his entire body and Luke could barely breathe.
He stood in the middle of the hallway, gasping for air, hands leaning on his thighs to ease the constriction in his throat.
And then Noah appeared. Like he always did.
He took Luke's hand, turning one corner then the next until they reached an empty hospital room and slipped inside. Noah turned Luke to face him, holding onto his arms, and looked directly at him.
“Just breathe, Luke. It's okay. Just... breathe.”
The room began to close in around him, wavering at the sides, and Luke's vision focused on Noah, looking at him with so much concern and other things Luke couldn't want.
Luke realized that he was the problem. He did these things to people.
They were afflicted with him and paid a price that was too high.
Noah had died all those months back, however briefly, and that heat of guilt doubled with intensity. He almost lost Noah. It could have been Noah. The relief he felt that it wasn't Noah, that he hadn't left him...
“I think maybe I should get--”
Luke crushed his mouth against Noah's, ignoring the way he froze immediately, his hands working the buttons of Noah's shirt. He swatted Noah's fingers away when he tried to grasp onto Luke's hands, pulled back, whispering a hollow, “I need you. Please.”
He felt Noah struggle in silence, several moments passed and then hands moved over his hips, clutched Luke. It was too much and not anywhere near enough. They fumbled their way across the room, falling on the bed, fused together at the mouth. He pulled back hard, wanted to run his hands over Noah, to make sure he was real and there. He glanced up at cloudy blue, unsure and afraid.
They reflected back at him all that he felt.
Luke crawled up Noah's length, thighs straddling his hips and pushed down, groaned with the contact of their hard cocks through denim. Luke's hands groped for Noah's dick, pulled it out and worked on his own. Noah arched underneath him as Luke gripped them both together, slow and gentle thumb running over both their heads.
He brought his empty hand down on Noah's chest, flexed it over his heated skin. He rotated his hips, pushed their cocks into his strokes, gasping at the heat that pooled in his spine.
Luke felt that stretching in his chest, breathed the scent of them in, closed his eyes when Noah's hands clamped on his shoulders. He shuddered and came hard, felt the burning on his face. His breath hiccupped when Noah followed, warmth dripped sticky over his hands.
He felt Noah tense beneath him but couldn't stop the stuttering of his breath, the tears running down his cheeks. Noah shifted and Luke wasn't sure what he was doing when he reached for him. He wiped him clean with the sheet, tucked him back in and then his arms were around Luke. One of Noah's hands stroked his hair, rested on the back of Luke's neck and he buried his face there, in the crook that smelled like Noah underneath the scent of sweat and sex and Luke.
The dam Luke worked so hard on constructing tore apart and he held on to Noah, his apologies sinking into Noah's skin, his guilt pouring over them both. He wanted Noah so much. Still. Now. Probably forever.
Noah breathed into Luke's hair, soft kisses falling randomly.
“I'm here. I'm not going anywhere, Luke.”
Luke closed his eyes, tightened his hold and wished that it could have been true.
#
