NaNo Fic: Find Your Way Through Me (ATWT, Luke/Noah, AU) - Chapter Seven

[freakykat]

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Title: Find Your Way Through Me
Author: freakykat
Rating: R to NC-17
Chapter: Chapter Seven
Pairing: Luke/Noah
Summary: Where there is darkness, find your way through me.
Disclaimer: Sadly I don’t own any of the boys I like to play with. All rights for the characters go to P&G, ATWT, JP, CG, etc.
Beta: The phenomenal and wonderful noelleleithe who took this monster on! I love you!
W/C: 4627
Warnings: MAJOR ANGST, some character death (NOT THE BOYS!), violence (It does have a happy ending, I swear!)
Author’s Note: Not quite as Epic as last time, this is a little over 50,000 words. My eternal gratitude to noelleleithe and reilael who listened to me bitch and moan and rhapsodize about this for MONTHS. Even if you're not in this fandom, feel free to read it. Enjoy! And feedback is yearned, loved and appreciated.
Story Notes: Found in Chapter One

All chapters found here.






Find your way through me


Chapter Seven



Luke’s muscles tensed as he dug the shovel into the pile of dirt and crap, hauling up and depositing it behind him into the open plastic bag. Mucking had been his least favorite shore since he could remember. But it let him think quietly and he needed that. The house was filled with people. Ones he loved and, for the most part, liked to spend time with but today was the exception.

All he could think about was Noah. Which wasn’t particularly different than any other day except that after having touched him, kissed him, breathed him, it was taking all the willpower Luke had - and lord knew that wasn’t much - not to chase him down, sit on him and make him understand that they belonged together.

“Sometimes I wonder about your intelligence, big brother.”

Luke stopped working, leaning on his shovel and wiping his hand across his head. He raised one brow in Faith direction, shrugging. “I never claimed to be anything but the butthead you’ve called me your entire life, little sister.”

“This is true. But even for you, mucking out stalls instead of eating Gram’s food is a bit stupid.” She walked into the barn, stopping in front of Magic, letting the horse smell her before gently stroking her nose. Luke watched as Faith opened the stall door and led the horse out. She didn’t speak as she grabbed a brush and began working on the mare’s long coat.

“Are you going to tell me why you are avoiding us?”

Luke heaved another pile into the trash, shaking his head as he said, “I wasn’t avoiding anyone.” He glanced back and saw Faith pause to give him a look.

He sighed and made a face. “I don’t remember you being this astute when you were a kid.”

“That’s what studying to be a head shrinker does to ya.”

Luke rolled his eyes. “Save me from medical students.”

Faith grinned, shaking her head as she continued to wipe down Magic’s coat. The foal with the heart so sweet had turned into an impressive mare. Faith’s favorite horse of them all. She didn’t make it home enough to enjoy her company anymore.

“So. Noah, huh?”

He hesitated a fraction of a second before diving with even more vigor into his task. After the silence stretched for more than a minute, he shrugged his shoulders.

“Always.”

He stopped working to stare back at her when she turned to look at him.

“We talked about this didn’t we?”

“You talked and I didn’t stop you.”

“I’m just saying that we had agreed your tactic was to wait. He wasn’t ready.”

“He’s ready.”

Faith sighed. “Luke, come on, neither one of you was okay after that traumatic of an event, and it’s been sometime, yeah. You’re both better. But I don’t think he’s ready -”

Luke made an exasperated noise, dropping his shovel to face his baby sister. He loved her deeply but he was tired of being told what he knew. “Listen to me, Faith. I’m not saying that your well earned degree doesn’t give you some merit. It does. But we’re not some case study. This is me and Noah. I know him better than you ever will.”

Faith studied him, eyes boring into his, nodding to allow him to continue.

“He stopped healing months ago. He’s hiding now. Afraid because he thinks he sent me to the loony bin by having allowed some fucking psycho to kidnap and torture him.”

Her eyes widened slightly at that admission. It had actually crossed her mind on more than one occasion that Noah might have made that kind of jump in irrational logic. Dr. Martin was great but even he wouldn’t be able to get Noah to see things differently until Noah was ready to.

“He didn’t send you anywhere. That was Damian and Mom.” Her voice tensed at Luke’s biological father’s name. She hated the bastard and no amount of rational thinking made that stop. “Noah saved you.”

Luke roughly pulled his gloves off, sticking them in his jacket and wiping his face. “Don’t you think I tried that? I talked until I was blue. But with Noah - sometimes the silence is easier. So, I’ve given him space. Now, I’m claiming my life back. Which includes making sure my damn fiancé realizes that we belong together.”

“Harder said than done, huh?”

Luke closed his eyes, rubbing his head. The dreams were getting more frequent and he was starting to feel them while he was awake. “You have no idea.”

She watched him for a moment before stepping up to and giving him a hug. Luke held her with one hand, closing his eyes.

Noah needed Luke.

Whether he admitted that or not was the real issue they had.


*

“You’re no help at all, you do realize that, right?” Luke tugged at his tie, trying desperately to get it right.

Maddie rolled her eyes and looking at his reflection in the mirror, she grinned. “You look incredible, Luke. We established this earlier.” She raised an eyebrow at him and made a face at herself. “It is generally the guy’s job to make the girl feel pretty.”

Luke stuck his tongue out at her, smoothing out his jacket, looking at the mirror again. “If I was your date then, yeah, that would be true.”

Maddie giggled and jumped in place a little, swaying her dress around. “I can’t believe Noah asked you to the prom.” She wiggled her eyebrows at him and laughed when he rolled his eyes this time. “What? He totally did.”

“He didn’t ask me to the prom, Maddie.”

“Yes. He. Did.”

Luke shook his head, pulling on his suit jacket, adjusting it to fall over his shoulders.

“We’re making a statement, Maddie.”

“Yeah, the statement that you two are totally in love, even if you don’t admit it, and want to go to the prom together.”

Luke clamped one hand over her mouth, shuffling both of them to the door and sticking his head out to look in the hallway. Noah’s door remained closed and he breathed out, pulling his head back in and shutting his door. He let Maddie go, giving her shoulder a small shove.

“Would you please stop that?”

“What?”

Luke didn’t know how to explain it. When prom had rolled around and Luke had purchased two tickets, it had become a huge deal with the planning committee and even the school board. His English teacher - who he had come to truly loathe - was in charge of the whole shebang. The homophobe that he was asserted that Luke was only allowed to purchase one ticket. He didn’t want to corrupt the “sanctity of a wonderful rite of passage by having it become a cause.” Luke still remembered his parents’ faces when they’d heard that. It was a good thing his Dad had great reflexes because when his Mom got going, it was hard to stop her.

Luke had no intention of going to prom with anyone other than Casey and Maddie. He’d bought the ticket for Jade.

Until the moment he was told he couldn’t, Luke hadn’t been aware he’d wanted to go, really. It was just what he was supposed to do.

When it had been resolved, he had an extra ticket and no clue what to do with it. Jade had needed to leave town to visit her adopted parents so he was going to end up being a third wheel.

That had been up to the moment Noah had shown up at his door, nervous, and looking a little sick in the stomach. Luke had joked that he had warned him about eating sushi from a street vendor. When Noah hadn’t retorted, Luke had asked him what was wrong.

He almost fell out of his chair when Noah said quietly but firmly, “Luke, would you like to go to the prom with me?”

Noah explained that he didn’t want anyone to think that Luke was scared or that what he had gone through had been for nothing. So could they go together to prove everyone wrong, please?

Luke had said yes immediately. The part of him that loved Noah like nothing else was practically dancing even when his heart broke a little because it wasn’t real.

He looked at Maddie, shaking his head. “I don’t want to scare him, Maddie.”

His friend looked at him like he’d lost his senses, bringing her hands up to shake him. “Seriously, Luke, tell him. Please. Just - the guy is crazy about you, has been forever.”

Before Luke could respond with disbelief there was knock on his door and when they turned, Noah was sticking his head around the corner.

“Hey, Casey is - wow.” He stared at Luke, mouth slightly open and Luke felt his face heat up. “You look - incredible.”

“Do I?” Luke smoothed fingers down his shirt, beaming out at Noah.

Noah stepped through the door, black suit covering his sleek body and Luke lost all train of thought. His shirt was open at the collar, tie still in hand and he looked so good, it actually hurt.

Maddie glanced back and forth between them and excused herself to see to her date. She grinned at Noah, winking as she passed him, closing the door on her exit.

They stared at one and another until Luke held his hand out. Noah blinked at it then back up at Luke who smiled, pointing at the tie Noah was holding. “That.”

Noah shook his head, laughing nervously. “Oh, yeah.” He handed it to Luke, taking a step closer into his space.

Luke pulled Noah’s collar up, sliding the silk over the back of his neck, brushing the warm skin there, fingers tangling in the damp hair on his nape. “You seriously need to learn to do this.”

Noah sighed, keeping his eyes on Luke’s face. “I have you.”

Luke flicked his eyes up, breath catching at the look on Noah’s face, gripping the lapels of his jacket. “What?”

Noah started to speak when the door burst open and his Mom entered with her camera.

“Boys, wait! I want to get a few pictures.”

His Dad followed behind slowly, glancing back and forth between them, knowing smile on his face. He pulled his Mom back some.

“Lily. Maybe we should just -”

She shook him off, turning to Luke and Noah, waving her hands at them. “Get closer and smile.”

They glanced at each other and Luke stepped nearer, one hand wrapping around Noah’s waist. Noah’s hands fell to his back, bringing him in and they stared at the camera, plastering smiles on their faces.


*

“I really thought that was going to be a disaster. Not gonna lie.” Casey pulled his tie off, opening his shirt and pulling it out of his pants. He leaned back against Maddie‘s side, feet up on the seat of the booth, and shrugged as he spoke. “But no assholes ruining the evening, decent music, food was great - thank you, Henry and Vienna! Not to mention all that awesome dancing.” His sparkling eyes fell on Noah who narrowed his own back at him.

Maddie giggled, arms coming around to hold Casey and nodded. “I think that was the highlight of the evening.

Noah felt his face heat up, glanced at Luke quickly, noticing the same expression on his face. They stared for one long second before bursting out laughing.

“Oh my god, we were so bad.”

Luke nodded, covering his face with his hands, snorting into them. “We were horrifically bad. I think we scared off all the other couples with our seizure-like grace.”

Noah held his head in his hands. “I told you I couldn’t dance.” He looked up at Maddie, shaking his finger at her. “But no. You had to insist we go out there and show them.”

Casey chortled, his lips drawn inward, and he clapped his hands together. “Yeah, they showed them all right. That being gay does not guarantee having rhythm.”

Noah raised his fisted hand into the air. “Hey, Luke and I are here to break down those stereotypical - uh - stereotypes.”

The other three raised their own hands and burst out laughing when Henry joined them from the counter with a “Power to the people!”

The door jingled as it opened, letting a stream of prom-goers into the diner and Noah froze, recognizing the drunken loudness of one in particular. He didn’t bother to glance over to see if Luke was watching Kevin make a fool out of himself. If he was and Kevin broke his heart, again, then Noah would be there. That was his job, after all. The one thing he’d learned those months he’d stayed away was that he couldn’t be without Luke in his life. So, whatever the outcome was, he’d stay.

But if Luke wasn‘t watching Kevin, then he didn’t want to know that either, and let his hopes rise like they had all evening.

He did feel Luke tense when Kevin sauntered their way, swaying from side to side and plopped down in the chair next to Noah. He swung an arm around the back, grinning stupidly at them all.

“It was a fucking awesome prom, wasn’t it?”

He spoke to the group but his eyes stayed on Luke, who was finding the table fascinating at the moment.

Noah had promised he’d be there.

But he wouldn’t watch.

He nodded toward the counter, taking Luke’s hand for one second. “Hey. Do you want another one?” When Luke met his eyes, he smiled kindly, letting him know everything was fine. Noah felt Kevin’s glower on him and their joined hands but he ignored it.

Luke nodded, squeezed Noah’s hand in return. Noah took that as his signal, got up, never once looking at Kevin, and headed toward Henry and Vienna’s friendly faces.

Henry hit him with the kitchen towel he was carrying, grinning at him. “Look at you! All spiffy and fragrant!”

Noah rolled his eyes. “Just because you’re a slave driver that has me doing chores which leave me greasy and disgusting, does not mean I don’t know how to clean up nice, thank you.”

Vienna came out of the kitchen, eyes lighting up when she saw Noah. “Oh, look at my gorgeous boy. Come here.” She stepped away from the counter, smoothing his jacket over his shoulder, straightening his collar. He’d taken his tie off at the door, leaving a few buttons on his shirt open and Vienna nodding approvingly. “You would make a great model, sweetheart.”

Henry raised one brow. “She would know, so, keep that in mind as a career move.”

Noah grinned but Vienna cut Henry off. “No, our boy here is going to be a famous movie director.”

He heard sharp voices coming from the back table but refused to turn around. Henry tilted his head to the side, looking around Noah, then made a “Don’t worry about it” face.

Before Noah could ask what was going on, he felt a hand on his shoulder and turned.

“Hey there, handsome, I happened to see you dancing tonight.”

Noah groaned inwardly. “Oh, yeah, I’m sorry about that.”

The other guy laughed, his hand trailing down Noah’s arm, stopping at his elbow to squeeze gently. “You’re funny, too. I like that in a guy.”

He was speechless and brought wide eyes over to look at Henry who was leaning down, scrubbing at a non-existent stain on the counter. Noah knew he was trying not to laugh.

“My name’s Tony.”

Noah shook his head, clasping the hand that had been presented to him. “Uh, Noah.”

Tony smiled widely, blue eyes dancing and Noah actually smiled in return. His heart wasn’t going to co-operate with anyone that wasn’t Luke but it was nice to know the rest of him still functioned properly.

“Listen, I was thinking we could get out of here. Get to know each other better.”

Noah took a step back, smirking. “We don’t know each other at all, Tony.”

“Well, that’s true but we could change that.” His hand slid down from Noah’s waist - which Noah hadn’t actually noticed was there - to press on his thigh.

Noah knew his mouth had fallen open but before he could respond, he watched a blond blur move angrily by him, shoving Tony slightly with a terse “Excuse me.”

Noah closed his eyes, stepping away from Tony with a quick apology and ran into the bathroom behind Luke.

He found him pacing the length of the room and when he noticed Noah, his eyes narrowed at him. “What the fuck was that?” He panted slightly and Noah told his body to stop finding that in any way hot.

“What?”

“That.” Luke spit out, pointing toward the door, indicating the diner. “You just let some random stranger put his hands on you.”

Noah tensed, blinking until he was sure this wasn’t in his head. “I didn’t let him do anything.”

“Oh, really? Because I didn’t notice you shoving his hands away.”

He didn’t even realize he moved until he was standing in front of Luke, leaning into his space, watching his eyes blown wide with everything Luke hadn’t said. He rested one hand on Luke’s waist, gripping lightly, mouth hovering over lips and when he spoke it echoed back on his skin.

“Why does that bother you?”

Luke’s stare focused on Noah’s lips, watching the words form, leaning closer.

“I didn’t -”

“Say it.”

Luke met his eyes, swallowing down past what Noah knew was fear. He understood it. He had for too long.

“Tell me.”

The air between them shivered, a stretched out line of desire and love and denial until Noah couldn’t take it anymore. He let go of Luke, taking a step back, shaking his head, letting out the breath he’d been holding for longer than he could remember.

He wasn’t willing to go there. The next step had to come from Luke.

When he started to move away, Luke grabbed his arm and Noah froze, staring at the floor.

“Don’t go.”

He brought gaze up, wide and hopeful, “Why not?”

Luke fidgeted, opening and closing his mouth before finally breathing out a quiet, “I don’t know what to say.”

Noah deflated slightly, gently pulling his arm out of Luke’s grasp, smiling sadly. “I know. I know you better then I know anyone. I know when you’re scared you lash out. I know that when you’re angry, really angry, your hands start to shake. I know how you look in the morning before your first cup of coffee, how cranky you get when you‘re sleepy. I know you.”

“Noah.”

“I’ve been in love with you before I even knew what that meant, Luke. You have to know that.”

Luke closed his eyes, swallowing deeply, giving Noah his answer with that small gesture.

He’d put it out there, despite knowing it would break him. Noah felt his chest lighten with the truth. He’d kept it from Luke for so long. Somehow, he had even managed to blame Luke for breaking a heart he really didn’t know he owned. It hadn’t been fair.

“I never thought you’d feel the same.” He laughed sadly, shaking his head when Luke looked up at him. “I never expected that you saw me. You’re - Luke. You’re everything I kind of wanted. I’m - not.”

He didn’t catch the angry glare Luke sent him.

“And I didn’t tell you that because I was scared that you wouldn’t feel the same. That, maybe, you wouldn’t know me like I do you. That I would be alone in this and that wasn’t right to do to you at all.”

Noah brushed one hand down his face, glancing at Luke before turning to the door, where he paused.

“But before I was this guy in love with you, I was your best friend. So, I made a promise to myself that’s who I would be for you. No matter what happened at the end of all this, I will be your best friend.”

He stepped through the door, closing it behind him and walking back into the diner. He noticed several heads turn away from his direction and would have laughed if he wasn‘t so miserable.

He started back toward Henry and Vienna, watched Henry’s mouth fall open before he felt something hit the back of his head hard. He glanced down at the plastic drinking glass spinning in circles at his feet. The clatter of the diner dimmed to a murmur as he turned around to see Luke standing at the other end of the room, face red, eyes a little watery. Suddenly, he picked up another glass, hitting Noah in the shoulder this time.

Noah took a step closer, one hand out to protect himself from more flying dinnerware.

“What the hell, Luke?”

“You stupid son of a bitch! You really think I’m just going to let you walk away again after that?” He pointed toward the bathroom and Noah heard Casey ask from behind him “After what?” but ignored it. He kept his eyes on Luke, balloon of happiness rising in his stomach and he tried not to get ahead of what was going on.

“Luke.”

“No, it’s my turn.”

Luke pulled his shoulders back, raising his chin up and took a deep breath. He kept his gaze steady, looking Noah in the eye. “You bite your bottom lip when you want to say something but think it’s better not to. If you like someone, your eyes crinkle at the sides when you smile at them. If you love someone, you can’t even look them straight in the eyes when you smile. If you’re pissed off, your ears and neck get all red and warm.” Luke took a few steps closer and it was like the whole room hushed to complete silence. “It happens, too, when you think about kissing me. If you’re worried, your eyes lose their light and your hands get clammy. When you wake up in the morning, you’re so fucking chipper and present, that it should be annoying. But you always wait until everyone else wakes up before bothering them. When we were twelve and I lost my favorite notebook, you spent half the night and the morning looking for it until you found it. But you didn’t tell me. You just left it on the doorstep. You’ve never admitted that.”

Luke had taken a step every time he spoke until he was right up against Noah, so close that when he whispered Noah felt it on his lips. “I see you. I’ve always seen you. But you’re - you’re Noah. I didn’t even - I know, now, of course I do. But back then - there was no way I would have thought -” His eyes searched Noah’s and with a deep breath in, Luke reached up, wrapping arms around Noah’s neck.

“Kiss me.”

Noah leaned forward, catching Luke’s mouth, his hands reaching up to clasp Luke’s face. His insides were trembling and this feeling - this complete rush of power - almost like light - hit him hard. It was staggering in its weight and he couldn’t breathe. Not for that moment when Luke opened his mouth and pulled him in.

The sounds around them - the clapping and cheering from his friends, even from strangers - cushioned them, held them up.

This was everything Noah had thought and nothing - nothing like he imagined.

This was him and Luke.

*

“Mrs. Robertson, I really don’t think anyone is trying to steal your grass.”

Noah glanced over at Harrison’s desk as he fidgeted with his pencil, face calm and friendly but voice stern. Dealing with Mrs. Robertson was something every rookie had to face. He remembered his first dealings with her - someone breaking into her house and stealing her groceries. They couldn’t turn anyone away who insisted there had been a crime committed.

Mrs. Robertson - he had learned - was almost ninety and just lonely. He knew the easiest solution was to go to her house, check out what she was saying, assure her everything was fine and accept a cup of tea. He walked over to Harrison’s desk, placing a hand on Mrs. Robertson shoulder and squeezing gently.

“Mrs. Robertson.”

“Noah, dear, how are you?” Her eyes lit up when she looked at him and he smiled back sweetly. He understood loneliness better than most, could relate to how it gnawed away inside until it left a hole.

“I’m doing well, Mrs. Robertson. Is everything okay?”

She shook her head, eyes serious, frown on her face. “I think someone is trying to take some of my yard. Use it for something.”

Harrison calmly pulled out his notebook, flipping it open. “Mrs. Robertson reports strange noises in the vacant house next to hers. It’s been happening for a couple of nights. She filed a report with Johnny the night clerk two weeks ago but the noises stopped. This morning she woke up with a patch of grass and dirt missing from her front yard.” He looked up at Noah, closing the notebook with a snap, turning his kind gaze to the elderly woman. “Did I get that right, ma’am?”

“Yes, you did. He is a sweetheart, Noah.” She patted Harrison’s hand before looking back up at Noah. “I just don’t want any criminals thinking they can get away with taking an old woman’s yard.”

Noah gave Harrison credit. That had really sounded like a cough. He kept his eyes on Mrs. Robertson, “Of course not. Tell you what. Harrison will drive you home, take a look around and make sure nothing else has been taken. We’ll make sure to file another report.”

She nodded, thanking them, and allowed Harrison to lead her out. Noah sent him a grateful look when he glanced back, watched him blush then run out of the door. Noah blinked for a few moments at the spot where Harrison had stood.

What the hell had that been about?

Shaking his head and moving back to his desk, he picked up Tommy’s file, opening it to the coroner’s report, trying desperately to find a needle in a haystack. Tommy’s file read like a simple trick gone wrong. Maybe a john that panicked and shoved Tommy around. Maybe they didn’t want to pay up. Blunt force trauma to the head, nothing taken, no DNA found inside Tommy’s mouth, hands and clothes were clear of hair or skin. There was no evidence of anyone having intended to hurt him.

Other then the cold body lying in the morgue, that was.

“I don’t give a damn, Brad. I know something is wrong! Let me go.”

Noah turned around quickly at Henry’s panicked shouting, meeting his eyes as he burst through the doors and toward Noah. He reached his hands out to steady Henry, holding him by the shoulders, feeling the tremors running through his friend.

“Henry, calm down. Please. What’s going on?”

Brad skidded to a halt behind Henry, his face drawn and pale, lines sketched over his forehead. Noah’s heart jumped to his throat. He knew that look on Brad’s face too well. Bringing his attention back to Henry, he looked into worried eyes, asking calmly, “Henry. Just tell me what’s wrong.”

Henry swallowed and his voice shook when he spoke.

“Vienna.”

Noah felt his heart stop.

“She never showed up to work this morning. When I came in this afternoon -” Henry closed his eyes, gripping Noah’s elbows hard before opening them, his watery eyes boring into Noah’s.

“Nobody knows where she is, Noah. Vienna is missing.”




-Chapter Eight-