NaNo Fic: Find Your Way Through Me (ATWT, Luke/Noah, AU) - Chapter Three

[freakykat]

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Title: Find Your Way Through Me
Author: freakykat
Rating: R to NC-17
Chapter: Chapter Three
Pairing: Luke/Noah
Summary: Where there is darkness, find your way through me.
Disclaimer: Sadly I don’t own any of the boys I like to play with. All rights for the characters go to P&G, ATWT, JP, CG, etc.
Beta: The phenomenal and wonderful noelleleithe who took this monster on! I love you!
W/C: 3449
Warnings: MAJOR ANGST, some character death (NOT THE BOYS!), violence (It does have a happy ending, I swear!)
Author’s Note: Not quite as Epic as last time, this is a little over 50,000 words. My eternal gratitude to noelleleithe and reilael who listened to me bitch and moan and rhapsodize about this for MONTHS. Even if you're not in this fandom, feel free to read it. Enjoy! And feedback is yearned, loved and appreciated.
Story Notes: Found in Chapter One

All chapters found here.





Find your way through me


Chapter Three


Noah fidgeted at Luke’s side, casting glances at him every few minutes until Luke finally rolled his eyes and turned to him.

“What’s going on, Noah?”

He jumped at the edge in Luke’s voice and focused his attention on the television. Movie night at Luke’s was usually one of the highlights of Noah’s week. Hell, his life if he told the truth. No matter how bad his day at school was, no matter what fight between Carly and Jack he had to endure, no matter how shitty someone made him feel, movie night was his safe haven. It was that place where Noah Mayer – the strange dork – disappeared into.

And now with JJ and Carly…

The fact that it was Luke he shared it with wasn’t the reason he ran to Luke’s house every Wednesday. At least, that was what he’d told himself up until he’d walked up on Luke giving Kevin a massage on his front porch. The massage hadn’t been the problem. Kevin had hurt his shoulder. Noah would have probably done the same. It was the look on Luke’s face that had undone him. He knew it well.

It was the same one he wore when he stared at Luke.

It was new for him to see it on Luke. Newer still was the sudden jealousy he felt.

Noah had known he was gay – since as far back as he could remember. He hadn’t known what that meant right off the bat, but he knew what he liked. When Kevin and Casey commented on a girl’s legs, breast, body, Noah would simply nod in agreement. He’d tried to be interested but he wasn’t. Luke didn’t seem either, though, so he hadn’t really given it much thought.

It was Carly who had confronted him with the reality of it. She’d sat him down one day a few months ago - not long after he’d turned fourteen - and asked him, flat out. His first instinct had been to deny it. If his father ever knew –

But his father was dead.

The ghost of the man still haunted his days - and nights - making him forget sometimes.

He was still winning. His hatred and fear was still making Noah hide.

So he nodded, said yes. Yes, he was gay.

He had stood up ready to leave, blubbering out an explanation, asking her to not hate him because he didn’t know what to do if she hated him.

Carly pulled him into a hug, kissed his head and told him she loved him no matter what. That he didn’t need to be afraid to tell her anything. He’d clung to her, asking that she not tell anyone, not even Jack. He wasn’t sure he wanted to tell the world yet. Noah couldn’t take the disappointment he was sure he’d see in Jack’s eyes. Or Holden’s. Or his friends.

Especially Luke.

Figuring out he was in love with Luke hadn’t been a shock. Not really. Noah had subconsciously known that for years. Even realizing that Luke was probably gay, too, hadn’t thrown him for much of a loop.

Realizing that Luke was in love with Kevin?

That had been a blow he wasn’t expecting.

When he didn’t say anything, Luke glanced at him, apprehension on his face. “This is about the other night, isn’t it?”

Noah startled, blinking at Luke for a few moments. He thought he’d been careful with Luke. That he hadn’t noticed. Luke’s nightmares weren’t new but they’d worsened since JJ and Carly had disappeared. Noah didn’t think about that. Worry and heartache gnawed at him daily but he knew Jack would find them.

It had been on a recent night that Noah had heard Luke’s scared moans and muffled screams coming through the walls. He made sure Parker was still sleeping and quietly crept out of his room and into Luke‘s. He froze in the doorway, staring at Luke’s half naked body, tossing in the bed, covered in sweat. He closed his eyes at the sight. But the distressed noises Luke was making forced Noah to step into the room and place one hand on Luke’s warm skin. Luke had woken with a start and Noah had jumped back to the door.

Luke wouldn’t tell him what was wrong when he asked. After a few minutes, he left and laid awake the rest of the night torn between the vision of Luke on the bed and his frightened eyes on waking.

He felt like a complete bastard.

“The other night?”

Luke still wouldn’t look at him, nodding. “When you came into my room - when I was -”

Noah gulped. Oh god. Luke knew. He knew and Noah wasn’t sure what he would do.

“Yes, I remember.” He said it quietly and kept his eyes on Luke’s profile.

“I’m sorry about that.”

Noah blinked but said nothing.

“I didn’t mean to wake you up.” Luke ran a hand over his head, finally looking Noah directly in the eyes. “Noah, I need to tell you something.”

Noah took an inaudible breath in, nodding again. “I do, too.”

“Really?”

“Yes.”

Luke turned towards him, all attention on Noah. “Go ahead.”

Noah shook his head. “You first.”

Luke hesitated, then stared down at his hands. Noah felt his heart trip over itself.

“I can see things.”

It took a moment for him to catch up with the statement and he furrowed his brow in confusion. He waited for more and when Luke spoke again, his voice was tremulous.

“I have - I’ve always - remember when we were twelve - well, you were twelve - I was still a measly eleven year old that -”

“Luke.”

“Right. So remember when Thatcher got lost?”

Noah nodded. Thatcher was Kevin’s dog and he’d gotten out of his leash, running away. Kevin had been distraught. This was back when Kevin was still a great guy and not an asshole jock. Noah pushed the thought away. “I remember.” They had spent days searching until Luke had finally managed to find him. He’d been a hero. “You found him.”

“Yeah.” Luke took a deep breath and spit out his next words in rapid succession. “Well, I managed to get Kevin to give me Thatcher’s favorite toy - that’s the way it works, it something that the person or dog, whatever, is attached to. Something they love. Otherwise all I get is blurry spurts of thoughts or scenes or sometimes it comes with all this static in the background and that gives me a headache which sucks. But if it‘s important to them, then the picture is clear. When it‘s an item that they can‘t be without, that‘s when it‘s easiest cause I can practically smell and hear everything too, you know, which I never -”

Noah grabbed Luke’s shoulders, shaking him to stop the onslaught of confusing thoughts being thrown at him. “Luke! Take a breath. Calm down. Tell me what the hell all that meant.”

Luke stared at him.

“I can see - people. When they’re lost. Even when they aren’t. If I can touch something solid of theirs I can see them. I can feel them. “

Noah didn’t even know what to say. That was not what he had been expecting. He thought Luke was going to tell him about Kevin. Or admit he knew Noah was gay. This was the last thing he’d thought.

It made sense, though. Thatcher hadn‘t been the first time. There was the time when Natalie had hidden during a game of hide and seek that had gotten a little too serious when she couldn’t be found after a couple of hours. She’d fallen asleep inside a box in the cellar. Luke had found her.

And once, Noah had gotten lost in the woods while camping. He’d fallen and twisted his ankle. After hours of limping around he’d given up, leaned against a tree and prayed someone would stumble on him. Luke had shown up a few hours later with Holden.

Noah recalled that in his hand he’d been holding Noah’s favorite sweater - the one Carly had given him for his birthday.

Luke had found them all.

“You’re - what? Psychic?”

Luke shrugged. “I don’t know. I just - see.”

Noah rubbed his head. “But now - is something else happening?”

Luke glanced up, surprised. “I’m having dreams. I can see - well, I can’t see them, really. But I can sense Carly and JJ.”

Noah tensed slightly. “You know where they are?”

Luke shook his head, adamantly. “No! No, Noah. If I did I would have told you. I just - I can feel them. They’re alive. And it’s fuzzy but maybe - if I could -”

“If you had something of theirs, you could really see them. You could find them and bring them home.”

Luke nodded slowly. “Maybe.”

Noah took his hand, pulling Luke with him, heading for the door, stopping when he felt resistance. Luke held his ground, his face scrunched in panic.

“What are you doing?”

Noah pointed to the door. “We’re going to tell Jack.”

Luke pulled away, shaking his head. “No. Noah, everyone will think I’m a freak. Everyone will hate me. No one will believe me.”

Noah’s eyes softened. “I believe you.”

Luke stopped, staring at him. “Why?”

“Because you’re my best friend. You’ve never lied to me. You aren’t now.”

Noah held out his hand. Everything he’d wanted to say would have to wait.

“What if they - Jack might not -”

“If they don’t then it’ll be you and me. We’ll find them.”

Luke took a long moment to study Noah’s face, eyes falling on his hand and in a blink he was hugging Noah.

“You really believe me?”

Noah closed his eyes, pushing down and down all that he was feeling. This was about Carly and JJ. This was about Luke. This was more important.

“I believe you.”


*

Noah rolled his shoulders, cracking his neck, relieving some of the tension that had bunched there since he’d run into the hospital, frantic for any news on Luke. Chris had met him in the waiting area, telling him Luke was fine. Still unconscious, but his vitals were stable and he seemed to just be sleeping. His brain was active and the MRI had shown nothing out of the ordinary.

He was just sleeping.

Noah rubbed his face with shaking hands.

Just sleeping.

His gaze fell to the bed. All pale smooth skin and light. His hand drifted to Luke’s head, playing with the silky strands. It had felt that way for as long as he could remember. Leaning in, he dropped a kiss, maybe two, into the softness, muttering quietly.

“I’m so sorry.”

He pulled away when Luke shifted, dropping his hand away to lie on his own lap. When Luke didn’t wake, he breathed again. Movement caught his eye and he focused his attention into the hallway. Holden and Lily, tense and scared, were talking to Luke’s attending physician. Right behind Lily, Damian stood, casting a shadow. Noah frowned at the sight. He couldn’t handle him tonight. Making sure that Luke was still in deep sleep, Noah moved quietly out of the room and into the hall.

Lily glanced at him, face suddenly losing all real anger. She looked sad, slightly even shamed if Noah read it correctly. The petty, little part of him that remembered all the words thrown at him in despair, all the ways she’d made everything worse felt like it was a victory. Years and truths opened people’s eyes. The part that loved her still - because she was Lily - made him reach out and squeeze her shoulder.

She looked relieved, even happy and smiled. “I’m glad you were with him, Noah.”

Noah didn’t acknowledge Damian’s reaction, the short puff of noise that came from his direction, just stepped back to let a passing nurse go by. He brought his focus to Holden, reaching out to touch his arm. “He seems to be okay.”

Holden only nodded, old memories and nightmares evident in his eyes and Noah wanted so much to take it away. From everyone that had to endure this. Even if this time it was different.

Dr. Bob Hughes rounded the corner. His walk steady but slow, careful, making Noah’s chest constrict. Bob had been a constant in his life. Grandfather he’d never known and his best advisor when he needed someone fair. The thought that one day he wouldn’t be there -

“Lily. Holden. I’m glad you’re here so soon.” His eyes flickered over, shadowing slightly. “Damian.”

“Dr. Hughes. How is my son?”

Noah cringed, held his tongue, folding his arms to wait for whatever news Bob was bringing them.

“Luke is perfectly fine.”

Their combined sighs of relief filled the air and Holden actually hugged Bob before catching himself.

“I’m sorry, Bob. It’s just -”

Bob placed a gentle hand on Holden’s shoulder, smiling serenely. “There’s nothing to apologize about.”

Noah took a step closer, glancing from Bob to the folder he was holding and back. “So, the tests came back okay?” He heard the tension in his voice and ignored the glare Damian sent him.

“Yes. Everything is clear. The MRI of the head showed nothing abnormal. We’ve been monitoring his brain waves and aside from the usual increased activity that is standard for someone with Luke’s abilities, everything is fine. It’s nothing to fret about.”

Holden threw his arm over Noah’s shoulder, giving him a fatherly squeeze. “Bob, you’ve known Noah since he was what - eleven? Do you really think he won’t keep worrying?”

Bob’s eyes shined with humor and warmth. Noah felt like that eleven year old. This was the problem with growing up in a small town. Everyone knew every detail about who you were and how you got there. Noah loved and hated that at the same time.

“I just think it’s best to be prepared.”

Dr. Chris Hughes stepped through the swinging emergency room door into the waiting area, catching the last of what Noah had said. “I have to agree with Detective Mayer.” He paused and shook his head. “I will seriously never get over that, Noah.”

Noah rolled his eyes and ignored the chuckles around him. He knew it was mostly relief, not aimed at him, that giddiness they all shared. He wished he could feel the same way.

“Chris.”

His tone serious and Chris dropped his joking manner, looking directly at Noah. “It’s pretty clear what happened. Psychometry is a relatively unknown phenomenon even in paranormal studies. All the research that you did, Noah, when Luke was –“ Chris paused, stumbling at the flash of pain in Noah’s eyes. Noah waved him on to continue.

He took a moment to assess Noah before he did. When he was satisfied that Noah could handle it, Chris looked back down at the file he’d carried in with him. “The research done when Luke was in the coma only gave us a superficial understanding of what he is capable of. Of what exactly his ability is. And ever since he woke up, he hasn’t used it. Not to any real extent like he once did.”

Noah thought he understood what Chris was trying to say. “So, what happened today - the seizure, the blackout, happened because - Luke is out of practice?”

Chris nodded. “Essentially, yes. The brain is a muscle. Luke used it like a football player would use his hand or legs. If an athlete stops using his body, stops training and working out, when he starts again, what happens is that the body revolts.”

Holden raised his hand, tilting his head. “So what you’re saying is that Luke’s brain - what - cramped up today?”

“That’s exactly what I would say. Yes. It wasn’t used to that kind of exercise anymore.”

Noah shook his head, hissing through his teeth. “I don’t even know what the hell he was thinking doing that.”

“Don’t you?”

It was the first Damian had spoken to him and Noah had forgotten he was even in the room. Not that it was a hardship for him to do that.

Noah turned to him. “You have something to say, Damian? Because I’d love to hear it. Really.” The bitterness dripped from his words despite all the time that had passed. Damian had never been his favorite person but he would never forgive him for what he’d done.

“My son was there because of you. Like always, he risked his life so you could have another award on your mantel. Another victory in your career.”

Noah lunged at him and if Holden hadn’t been expecting it, hadn’t grabbed him, Noah would have had Damian flat on his ass before he could blink. “Listen to me. You are the one that broke him. You put him in that place. You kept me from him. Don’t think for one minute, Grimaldi, that I will ever forget that.”

“Don’t sell yourself short, Detective. I think you had something to do with it.”

“Damian!”

They all turned to the doorway.

Luke stood there, hands braced on the wall at either side of him, glaring at Damian.

“Don’t you fucking dare blame him.” He wobbled in place and Noah was standing next to him before he realized it. His arms circled Luke’s waist, jolt shocking through his system. He backed Luke up to the bed, keeping his gaze away from Luke’s, setting him down on the thin mattress.

“You shouldn’t be out of bed.”

“I always like the sound of that when you say it.”

Noah glanced up, meeting Luke’s eyes, crinkled at the edges with amusement and when he looked closer, dark from something Noah refused to acknowledge.

He let go, taking a step back. “Is that so?”

There was some loud arguing taking place in the hall and Noah debated whether he should close the door. Luke was aware about everything going on outside his hospital room.

“Noah.”

His gaze met Luke’s.

“I think I made a mistake. Before.”

Noah raised an eyebrow. He bit back the No shit that threatened to come out and just shook his head. “I don’t get it though, Luke. Why would you do that?” Luke threw him an exasperated glare and Noah sighed.

“Okay. I know why but -- it’s - you just can’t do that. Please.”

“I can too do that. It’s my choice. But that’s not what I’m talking about.”

Noah stared at him. “What?”

Luke pushed to his feet, hands cradling Noah’s face, holding when he tried to move.

They watched each other for some time.

Luke’s mouth caught Noah’s, teeth biting gently on his lower lip, tongue testing his mouth, dipping in. Noah held his control, tried not to respond, but this was Luke, this was contact his body hadn’t been able to have in too long and his hands reached up, gripped into Luke’s hair. Luke made a desperate, almost triumphant noise, arms circling Noah’s neck, pulling him closer.

He felt it start at the pit of his stomach - that tingling of awareness, like electricity pooling and then spreading. Over and inside and under. Noah angled his head and Luke opened up to him, easy, ready, like it had never changed. When he heard his own groan, Noah tore his mouth away. Luke’s mouth tried to follow and when it couldn’t get contact again, Luke opened his eyes, tightening his hold.

“Listen to me, Mayer.”

Noah shivered at the tone, responding despite the control he was wielding.

“The mistake I made was letting you assume that this time away - the time we needed to heal - you needed - to find strength after what happened - was permanent.” Luke tugged at the hair on Noah’s collar forcing Noah to look at him. “I’ve never given up, understand? I still love you. I still want you. I still plan to marry you.”

Noah closed his eyes, breathing out his name. “Luke.”

“I heard you.”

Noah’s eyes opened, his mouth turned down, brow furrowed. “What?”

“When I blacked out earlier, I heard you calling me. I felt you. I know you still love me, always have.” Luke let go of Noah, settling on the bed, before looking back at him. “I just thought you should know that I have every intention of living the rest of my life with you. No matter what that stupidly good intentioned heart of yours may think is better.”

Luke lay back down on the bed, rearranging the blankets before looking back up at Noah.

“We’re forever, baby. Get over it.”


-Part Four-



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