FIC: Say It Right: Part Four (RPS, Gale/Randy)

[freakykat]

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Disclaimer: I neither know nor own Gale or Randy. Nor any of the other peoples. This is NOT real. It is fiction based on an overactive imagination and lots of QAF viewing. None of the events in this story have happened. Thank you for your time!

Title: Say It Right (4/12)
Author: freakykat
Pairing: Gale/Randy...in the end
Rating: R
Series/Sequel: Part 4
Summary: Sometimes saying the right words is the hardest thing to do.
Warnings: m/m sex, if you don't like that kind of thing, away with you. If you do, enjoy! Tons of language, slight angst, illness, but much humor in this part.
Author's Notes: Deepest thanks to plumduff for beta'ing and her encouragement! Thank you dearest! The story seems to be moving now so I hope I can keep up. Feedback loved, nurtured and petted!

Parts: |1|2|3|

Say It Right (4/12)


These are the times
I wanna crawl in a hole

And these are the rhymes
that try to soothe my soul

But your grace is the drug
That makes the pain worthwhile

And your face shows the love
That reminds me how to smile -- AHS


He should have known that with Gale, nothing was ever simple. Or boring. Gale didn’t work in that manner. He was bursts of colors and noise wrapped in a perplexing enigma of heat that drove him insane. It never failed that being within ten feet of Gale, he would lose any perspective he might have gained.

So walking back into the hospital room he had run from five days ago wasn’t an easy task but he chose to face it, fuck the consequences. Finding Makyla and Gale stoned out of their senses didn’t throw him for a loop. It was a situation he’d found himself in many times before. It wasn’t even the thrill that ran up his spine or how his heart seemed to speed up at seeing Gale. That always happened. What threw Randy completely off kilter was Gale’s confession.

“You think he’s unattainable.”

They were deep in conversation and hadn’t noticed his entrance. Makyla’s words stopped him from making his presence known. He had a feeling he knew what or rather who they were talking about.

Randy smiled at the endearing snort Gale gave as he responded. “Of course he is.” He frowned when he realized what that meant.

“Because of --”

“No. I mean, that’s part of it but -- he’s too good for me.”

Randy scowled at that. What the fuck was he talking about?

“That’s not true.”

He almost voiced his agreement to that. Leave it to Makyla to speak the truth.

“He doesn’t love me that way, Mak. I don’t expect him to. I’m not enough.”

“Gale.”

He could feel his temper rising and he forced his breathing to remain normal. Gale didn’t know shit.

“I never am. But what I was trying to say before we got into all this, which I didn’t want to by the way, was that it shouldn’t matter to anyone who I love or why.” Randy raised an eyebrow, hearing the slurred speech. They’d had quite a bit to smoke it appeared. “It’s my business who I choose to love, how I choose to love and the rest of the world can go fuck themselves if they don’t get it.”

Randy tried not to let those words affect him. Gale was high. He said a lot of ridiculous gibberish when he got that way. It was then he noticed Makyla’s shocked expression, her eyes glued to his. He waved at her, crossing his arms once she half-smiled in return. “Um…Gale.”

Randy gave her credit for trying. But he could tell from the vague look in Gale’s eyes that his mind wasn’t completely with them. He seemed to be searching for something. Randy noticed his face light up as he said. “My point was love is love is love. No one has the right to tell me I can‘t love Randy, not even Randy.”

Randy wanted to be angry because fucking yes, he could tell Gale that he didn’t love him. But the lilt in Gale’s voice made him want to smile. He seemed to have run out of steam and had turned to stare at Makyla, brow furrowing that she hadn’t said anything.

“Mak?”

The jig was up now so Randy said, quietly but with his usual flair for the sarcastic. “Very eloquent, Shakespeare.”

It seemed to only take a moment for Randy’s voice to register with Gale, but as soon as it had, he was met with warm hazel eyes and a grin that could only be described as shit eating.

“Hi Rands.”

Randy didn’t smile in return, nodding. “Hi Gale.”

That seemed to please him though because he giggled and bit his lips in just that particular way and Randy felt his insides tighten. “Mak and I were just talking about you.”

“Yeah, I kind of got that.”

Makyla started laughing at the slightly annoyed look on Gale’s face and Randy sent her a glare. She was at fault here. She knew Gale could never resist smoking anything illegal. “Makyla…”

She grinned at him, waving happily in his direction. “Hey Randy. I’m so happy you came back. Gale didn’t think you would.”

Gale shook his head, hazel eyes widening as he looked at Randy. “I really didn’t.”

Mak patted his arm soothingly. “I know, honey. But he’s here. See?” She stood up, standing next to Randy and wrapping one arm around his shoulder. “Now you’re here, everything is good.”

Randy suppressed his need to correct that assumption. Visiting hours were going to be over soon and the nurses would be coming in to check on Gale. “What the hell possessed you to bring him that, Kyla?”

Makyla blinked at him. Once. Twice. “Hello. This is Gale.” Pulling away, she gestured grandly toward the bed. “Fucking pothead extraordinaire. And really, if there’s any moment where it should be okay for him to smoke, this is fucking it.”

There was another giggle from the direction of the bed and Randy chose to ignore it. He didn’t have the time or the patience for this. He knew the schedule thanks to Peter’s constant updates and the nurse would be coming in at any moment. He glanced at Makyla. “It’s time to go now.”

Makyla pouted. “But we were having a good time. He needs to unwind, Randy.”

“I think he’s unwound enough, Kyla.”

Sighing, he copied Makyla, wrapping one arm around her small frame and guided her toward Gale. “Let’s get you out of here before the nurse has you escorted out for contributing to the delinquency of a lunatic. Say goodnight, Kyla.”

“Goodnight, Kyla.” Mak winked, and bent down, kissing Gale noisily on the forehead. She paused for one achingly sober moment and whispered, though Randy heard her clearly, in Gale’s ear. “Don’t you ever fucking scare us like that again, Harold. You hear me?”

Gale kissed her hand quickly and nodded. “I hear you, Smith.”

“Good.” She straightened up, pulling away from Randy, and smiled. “You take care of our guy, Randy.” Her eyes held on to his and she seemed to be waiting for his answer.

Randy swallowed thickly, voice strained when he spoke. “I promise.”

That seem to satisfy her and she bounded toward the door, turning to wink and wave before disappearing through it.

They were alone.

Randy ignored the flash of heat that shot through him at that thought. At being alone with Gale. Who he knew was staring at him intently, or as intently as Gale could, through the haze of numbness he was currently in.

He was afraid at what he would see in Gale’s eyes so he fiddled with the blankets, adjusting and readjusting, keeping his own eyes downcast ,until warm skin against his, made him stop moving. Randy closed his eyes as Gale’s hand skimmed over his arm, sending sparks through nerve endings that burned under skin and bones.

“Randy.” Gale’s hand pulled gently on his. After a long moment, he whispered harshly. “Fucking grow up, Harrison and look at me.”

Blue eye clashed with dark hazel ones and something shuddered, breathed between them, forcing Randy to remove his hand from Gale’s. “I’m looking at you.”

“Barely.” One beat passed and Randy wondered if that would be the end of that.

“You’re scared shitless.”

Apparently not.

“I am not scared.”

“Of course you are.”

Randy sighed, “I didn’t come here to argue with you, Gale.” He moved away, from eyes that made him…feel….made him ache and want…that made promises he knew would never be kept. He wanted to bolt. Get on the first plane and run back to the life he told himself was the right one. To order and normalcy…

“You’re so fucking adorable when you do that.”

Randy glanced at Gale, who was smiling softly at him. “When I do what?”

“Crinkle your nose. You only do it when you’re scared or worried.” Gale grinned at him, eyes shining at him. “It was how I first knew I loved you.” He whispered the last part as he leaned up slightly.

Randy quirked an amused eyebrow at him. He really shouldn’t be finding any of this endearing. “The way my nose crinkled?”

“Fuck yeah. I figured if your nose crinkling made me…want you as much as it did, like it still does actually, it had to be love.” Gale nodded at his own genius conclusion and Randy covered his mouth with his hand, hiding the smile that was threatening. Before he could respond, the door opened and a plump nurse with the nametag Dolores entered.

“Well hello honey. How is my favorite patient tonight?”

“Dolores.” Gale smiled at her, sitting up in bed as she approached. “I hadn’t seen you in a couple of days.”

“Baby, I had me a mini-vacation. Did you miss me?” Her grin was both sincere and comforting. Randy found that he liked her immediately.

“Completely. No one else changes my IV quite like you do, D.”

She chuckled at him, quickly taking his vitals and when Randy moved, her eyes found him, widening slightly. “Well who do we have here?” She adjusted the stethoscope in her ears, listening to Gale’s heartbeat.

Gale glanced at Randy, his face softening when he met his eyes. “This is Randy.”

Dolores leaned in closer to Gale’s ear, whispering something that Randy couldn’t make out. Gale nodded and she straightening, studying him. “You’re a handsome devil, aren’t you?”

“Don’t sell him short, D. He’s fucking beautiful.”

Randy knew he was blushing. He would let this go. “Thank you both.” He gestured toward Gale, meeting Dolores’ amused stare. “Is he…okay?”

She nodded. “He’s doing really great. He’ll be going home tomorrow.” Dolores ruffled Gale’s hair as she gathered her instruments. “We’re going to miss him even if he is a pain in the ass.”

Gale grinned at her. “You know you love me, D. It’ll be boring around here when I go.”

She snorted and leaned down, speaking slowly. “You’re lucky you’re so cute or I’d have to report your herbally-enhanced state.” Laughing at Gale’s pout, she brought her eyes to Randy. “Honey, visiting hours are over.”

Randy took a deep breath and gave her one of his biggest grins. “I was hoping to stay with him tonight. I’m his ride home in the morning.”

Gale raised one eyebrow, having been unaware of that particular plan since Randy had just come up with it but he said nothing, only staring at him with a befuddled expression. Not unlike the one Dolores seemed to have. She shook her head slightly, trying to refocus and Randy moved closer, speaking quietly. “I just haven’t had a chance to be with him for a few days. I don’t want to leave him alone.”

Dolores nodded, patting his shoulder as he came to stand next to her. “Of course, I remember you now. You were here with him, weren’t you? That first week. It was you that sweet Peter gentlemen called.”

Randy nodded, pushing away the memory of panic that had run through him when he had heard Peter use the words “Gale” and “hospital” and “it’s not good” all in one sentence. He had rushed to the bathroom as he‘d hung up, falling apart at thinking he had lost Gale. It had taken him ten minutes to get it together enough to make the call for the cab. He’d left his apartment, the one he shared with Simon, without clothes except the ones he wore and no explanation. No note. All he could think of in that moment was getting to Gale.

“Yes it was. I’m his…”

Dolores smiled at him, patting his cheek this time. “You don’t have to explain. I understand love when I see it, sweetie.”

Randy opened his mouth but before he spoke, Gale did. “Explain it to him, D. He doesn’t believe me.”

“You hush up now. This boy knows it. I can tell.” She winked at Randy as she made her way to the door. “I’ll have one of the orderlies bring you a cot so you’ll be more comfortable.” She paused and grinned after a moment. “He talks about you all the time, you know.” Leaving Randy with a surprised look in her wake, she disappeared from the room.

“She’s right. I do.”

Randy shook his head. “Shut up Gale.” He returned to stand by his bed, glaring at him. “I’m only staying tonight under one condition.”

Gale raised an eyebrow. “What?”

“No more crazy talk about love. You don’t say that word again tonight.” Randy couldn’t handle it and he needed to be able to do this. He had made himself a promise and he was going to keep it. He would take care of Gale. Make sure he got better, that someone was there to help him…and then he’d walk out his life.

“That’s not fair.”

“Why not?”

“Because I lo-” Gale bit off the word. “Because I do.”

Randy rolled his eyes. “Gale, it took you almost 7 years and fucking cancer to tell me that you think you love me, I think you can handle one night.”

“I never said think. I don’t think. I know. And it’s done. I’m not scared anymore so it’s easier to say.”

Randy sighed. “It’s not easier to hear, Gale.” He ran his hand through his hair. “It hurts because I know you don’t really mean it.”

Gale’s jaw tensed and he glanced away. “Fuck you, Rands.” He crossed his arms and stared hard at the white wall his gaze had fallen on.

Randy touched his shoulder. “It’s the fear talking.” That was what Randy kept telling himself. Gale was scared. He needed something, anything to hold on to. And he loved Randy…sure they were friends but he couldn’t be in love…because if he was…then he’d wasted years now that they could have been together…happy…and Randy…

He couldn’t think that. He couldn’t allow it. It had been years since he’d given up on what he wanted…years since he’d locked away his heart in a box he never opened.

If Gale loved him…then it was all for nothing. The pain of letting him go…of ignoring his desires….his dreams…

Gale shook his head, turning to say something -- but he didn’t. Something he saw in Randy made him stop and he closed his eyes, sighing.

“Whatever you say, Rands.” He leaned his head back on the pillow. “I won’t …say it.”

Randy breathed. He could do this now. Smiling, he brushed back the hair from Gale’s forehead, placing a kiss there, lingering for a second to take in Gale’s scent. “Thank you.”

When he pulled back, dark hazel eyes locked onto his. “Just for tonight, Rands. That’s all I’m giving you.” Gale reached for Randy’s face, cupping one cheek with his hand, thumb stroking Randy’s lips, parting them. It was hard to think when Gale touched him…

“That’s all you get. One night.” Gale’s strained voice rumbled out into the silence. “I spent years denying it. To you. To me. If I survive this fucking disease, I refuse to hide it.”

Randy bit at the pad of Gale’s finger as it skimmed over his lip, receiving a shuddered breath in response. “Gale…”

“Don’t.”

The hand was pulled away and Randy opened eyes he hadn’t known he’d closed. He meet Gale’s tortured gaze and felt his heart squeeze at the lost look he found there. “I’m sorry.” It had been instinct…need…wanting to taste some part of Gale.

Gale shook his head, slumping down on the bed. “It’s…fine. I should get some sleep.” He turned his back to Randy. “Will you be here in the morning?”

“Yes.”

Gale nodded once in response, settling into what they both knew would be a fitful sleep.

Randy pulled one of the chairs closer, finding a comfortable position while he waited for his promised cot. He doubted he would sleep. He had too much to organize and much too little time to do it.

Tomorrow he would drive Gale home…he would settle him in before letting him know that Randy had made a decision.

One that had cost him everything he’d pretended he’d wanted…and he hoped that he could get it back.

Tomorrow he would tell Gale his plans…

Tomorrow…everything would change…

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