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Fic: Indebted (QaF, Brian/Justin) Chapter 4: Pretending to Be
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furribootsTitle: Indebted
Chapter: Four - Pretending to Be
Sequel/Series: series
Author:
freakykatTime Frame: Takes place during 3rd season starting after 3.04 - AU timelime
Summary: Justin and Brian find their lives intwine no matter what they do.
Rating: Hard R
Warnings: Justin/Ethan implied
Notes: Thanks to
wouldbedorothy for beta-reading like always. A different way Brian/Justin could have gotten back together. Just a reminder that some of the storylines from Season 3 will be here however, they may be gotten to and resolved differently. Things become more complicated.Disclaimer: I own none of this - they belong to Showtime, Cowlip and others. I only play with them a little. Once I'm done, I'll dust them off and give them back
|Chapter 1|Chapter 2|Chapter 3|
Chapter Four: Pretending to be…
“So, what you’re saying to me is that I have to pretend to be something I’m not?” Justin’s voice cracked slightly, his eyes pinning Ethan down. “That’s fucked.”
“That wasn’t what I said, Jus. You’re not listening.”
“No. I am listening. You want me to hide.” He felt the heated grip of anger inside his chest, constricting and crushing. Justin wanted to hit something. Fucking hard. “Pretend I don’t exist?”
Ethan shook his head, annoyance making his voice like ice. “I never said that. I don’t want you to hide. We just need to be careful.” He snapped his carrier shut and glanced at Justin. “All that Glen is asking is that we don’t publicize our relationship.”
“I see. So he wants you to jump into the closet, and you want me to keep you company there?”
“Fuck! Justin, that is not what I want.”
“Uh-huh.”
“Not publicizing does not mean hiding. It means keeping it to ourselves.”
Justin rolled his eyes. “Right. Right. Okay, let me ask you this. When someone asks you who I am, what are you going to say?” Ethan’s face registered surprise and Justin knew he’d stumped him. He laughed bitterly, shaking his head. This was not happening. “Fine. When they ask you if you’re seeing anyone, what are you going to say?”
“The truth, of course!” Ethan threw his hands in the air. “Damn it, Justin! This is my fucking career. My. Career. I don’t have the freedom to…”
“To what? Tell the truth.” Justin closed his eyes, speaking slowly. “Living a lie is not how I chose to do it, Ethan. No fucking way will I hide. Not for you or anyone.”
“I never wanted you to do that, but can’t you understand where I’m coming from?”
“No.” Justin shook his head. “I can’t.”
“Jesus. When did you become a selfish prick, Justin?” Ethan spit out, grabbing his case and heading to the door. He flung it open, almost knocking Daphne down as he rushed past her. She made a face at his back, waving a hand.
“Nice to see you too, Ethan.” She entered the apartment, closing the door soundly behind her. “Asshole.” Her eyes scanned the one room and she sighed, biting her tongue. Not one fucking word. She was not going to say anything. Her eyes fell on Justin, leaning against the wall, eyes closed, and she frowned. “Hey. Are you okay? What happened?”
Justin sighed. “We had a fight.”
Daphne’s face lit up. “Really?”
Justin opened his eyes to glare at her. “Do you mind not sounding so excited about it, Daph?”
She had the sense to look slightly apologetic. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to. What happened?”
“His agent told him that he couldn’t let anyone know he’s gay, and he wants me to pretend along with him.”
Daphne looked confused. “Who gives a shit who a violinist is fucking?”
Justin shrugged. “Don’t ask me.”
“Well, you told him where he could stick that fucking idea, right?” She stared at the door, wishing she’d tripped the jackass on her way in.
There was silence, and she looked at Justin, her eyes wide. “Justin, you’re not seriously thinking of…”
“I told him no.”
“Good.”
He looked at her. “It’s his career, Daphne. What he has worked for his entire life. How fair is it to ask him to give that all up?”
Daphne stared at him, horrified. “No. No fucking way are you feeling bad about this.”
“I didn’t even listen.” He rubbed a hand on his face, blue eyes dulled. “I didn’t hear him out or even give it a chance. Isn’t that what I’m supposed to do? Compromise?”
“It’s not fair that he ask you to pretend to be something you’re not. Damn it, Justin, you almost fucking died coming out.”
“I know that!”
“Then you know lying about it isn’t you.” She crossed her arms. “You know, maybe Brian wasn’t everything you thought you wanted in a boyfriend, but he never made you lie.”
“Please.” He couldn’t think about Brian right now. Those bleak hazel eyes staring into his, telling him he couldn’t let others dictate who he was. He shoved away the image. “That’s not a fair comparison, anyway. Brian wasn’t starting out.”
“So?” Daphne held her hands out. “What fucking difference does that make? You really think he ever pretended to get where he is?” She shook her head. “I doubt it.”
Justin snorted. “He’s fucking working for an asshole who hates us, Daphne. Not exactly the poster child for gay pride.”
Daphne shook her head. “Whatever that’s about has more to do you with your breakup than anything-”
Justin scowled. “That’s enough. Just drop it.”
“But Justin…”
“Drop. It.” He picked up his jacket and motioned to the door. “Let’s go.” He walked past Daphne, refusing to hear the voice in his head that told him he had to be the best homosexual he could be. The one that gave him the choice… that always gave him the choice.
“I fucking hate this.” Brian whispered harshly, dropping his head on the desk. He couldn’t keep this up. It was grinding against every fiber of who he was.
Cynthia patted his shoulder. “Then why the hell are you, Bri?”
He smiled at that. Good old Cynthia could always be counted on to ask the hard questions. He shrugged, head coming up to look at her. “Because I want to get the fuck out of the Pitts. And this is my ticket.”
She stared at him. “Maybe it’s not worth it.”
He’d been having the same thoughts lately. They sneaked in when he wasn’t paying attention. Nagging in Debbie’s voice. He shuddered, leaning his head down again at the wave of nausea that suddenly hit him. “Fuck.” He closed his eyes, counting to ten like he was supposed to. He heard the clink of glass and turned his head to see a glass of water on the desk.
Raising his head, he glanced at Cynthia, who looked at it pointedly. “Drink it.” She was silent while he gulped it down. But he knew her well. That wouldn’t last.
“You can tell me it’s none of my business…that I should butt out…but Brian-”
Brian glanced at her. “It none of your fucking business. Butt out.
“You need to tell someone.”
He almost wanted to smile. “Let it go.”
“Brian…”
He looked up at her. “Let it go.”
She paused for only a second before nodding. “Okay. I’ll set up that meeting you wanted with Eyeconics.”
He called after her as she opened the door and met her worried gaze.
“I appreciate it.”
She only gave him a silent nod before exiting, and he waited until the door had closed behind her to let his head fall on the desk once more. He had to go home. His cell phone rang and he nearly threw it across the room. Glancing at the caller ID, he sighed and answered. “Hey. What’s the news?”
The voice on the other end spoke calmly, slowing… almost soothingly. And, as he listened, Brian’s hand began to tremble. His eyes closed and he nodded.
“Okay. What do I have to do?”
“Sunshine.” Debbie threw her arms around him, squeezing, and Justin tried his best not to let out a squeak. He glanced over her shoulder into the room, not meeting Michael’s stare. He was not in the mood to deal with him.
“Hi, Deb.” He pulled away and smiled at her. Raising his hands to show the bags he held, he said, “Brought some comfort food. Thought maybe we could use it.”
She nodded somberly. “We can. We still don’t know what’s going on with Ted. But, sweetie, you shouldn’t have spent your money on us.” She smiled at Daphne as she spoke. “Hi, sweetheart. How are you?”
“I’m good, Deb. Thanks. I’m so sorry about all the shit poor Ted is going through.”
“Thank you, baby.” She waved them in, heading with the bags to the kitchen and coming back with full plates of her home-cooking.
Justin smiled. “I should have known you’d be prepared.”
Vic laughed. “Debbie likes to think marinara sauce is the remedy for everything.” He winked at her. “Practically cured me, didn’t it?”
Justin laughed at the look Debbie sent Vic. He missed spending time in this house. He’d refused to think about the fact that he hadn’t seen them outside of the diner since he and Ethan had gotten together. It wasn’t on purpose. Things were just different. He looked over at Michael, who seemed in deep conversation with Ben. Okay, maybe it had been on purpose. He couldn’t handle another of Michael’s speeches.
Sensing Justin’s stare, Michael looked up and simply nodded before returning to what he had been doing. Justin frowned. That was strange. Michael never once turned down an opportunity to tell Justin what an idiot he was for leaving Brian. What the hell was going on?
“Jus-jus!”
He looked up in surprise as Gus came down the stairs on Lindsey‘s hip, stretching chubby little arms in his direction and sending him the same crooked smile his father had. Justin stood up, meeting Lindsey as she came around the couch. He took the squirming two-year-old from her, planting a kiss on her cheek as he did. “Hey, Lindz. Hey, Gus!!”
“Jus!” The two-year-old patted Justin’s cheeks affectionately, and he couldn’t help but laugh.
“It’s me, kiddo.”
He set him down on the floor, joining him a second later, and they spent ten minutes playing with the toy trucks and cars scattered all over the floor. Justin glanced up at Debbie as she walked past for the twentieth time. “Deb. It’s going to be okay. Mel will figure it out.”
Daphne agreed. “Yeah, Deb. She’s really good, right? Everything will be fine.”
Debbie nodded. “I hope so. It’s been hours since she called, though.” She glared at the phone and continued to pace. “That fucking Stockwell. If it weren’t for his homophobic ass, none of this would be happening.” She shook her head. “And goddamn Brian.”
Justin suppressed the need to say something. He wanted to stop the rant that was coming, needed to defend, but there was nothing he could say. No valid excuse he could make for Brian. He was wrong to work for Stockwell. Period.
“Fucking asshole. You would think, seeing as he sticks his dick in every guy he can, he would be the first to protect queers.”
“We don’t know what he’s thinking, Deb.” Daphne stated quietly, looking at Justin as she spoke. “Maybe he has his reasons.”
“What good reason could there be? Hell, what bad fucking reason could there be?” Debbie was furious, and somewhere in her where she wouldn’t admit it, she was terrified that they had lost Brian for good. The boy she knew once had disappeared completely and she couldn’t do anything to stop it.
The door opened suddenly and a grinning Emmett entered. “Hello, all. I now give you a free Theodore Schmidt!” He clapped his hands as Ted appeared through the door, tired, disheveled, and more than a little worn out. But the relief in his face was evident.
Debbie crushed him in a hug. “Teddy! Oh, baby, I’m so happy to see you’re okay.” She pulled away and turned to Mel, giving her a gentler hug. “Thank you so much for whatever you did.”
Mel shook her head. “It wasn’t anything I did, Deb.”
Justin watched as everyone greeted Ted. Hugging, kissing… letting him know how much they missed him. He saw the look in his friend’s eyes and stood up to welcome him. He hugged him tightly. “I’m glad you’re okay, Teddy.”
There was a slight response and then Ted pulled away, smiling before walking to Emmett, who threw his arms around him. Justin smiled at them, then turned to Mel. “How did you do it?”
Mel looked at him, pausing before she spoke, as the room suddenly became silent. “Like I said, I didn’t do anything. Let’s just say that Teddy has some friends in high places.” She let the words sink in and then turned to take her son from Lindsey.
Justin looked at Daphne, who grinned at him triumphantly and mouthed, ‘See?’
Ben held his hand out to Vic, who was digging into his wallet. “Pay up.”
“I can’t believe it.”
Ben smiled. “Like I said, sometimes you’ve got to think the best of people.”
Justin turned to look at Debbie, whose face registered shock, happiness, and something else he couldn’t quite make it out. He could hear Teddy and Emmett talking.
“I still can’t believe he did it.”
“Well, you know how great your powers of persuasion are, Teddy.”
The doorbell rang, and Justin glanced around the room. No one else seemed to have heard it. They were gathering around Mel for details, though, from the look of it, she wasn’t about to tell them anything. The bell rang again and he headed for the door, taking his jacket as he did. He needed to do something.
Flinging the door open, he looked up and felt his mouth turn up into his famous smile before he realized it had. A small laugh escaped as he spoke.
“Brian.”
|Chapter 5|
Just wanted to leave this for you guys before I left. Have a great day and I'll post from Pride if I get a chance. :)
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So much going on in this chapter! But what will stick with me is that I worry about what's going on with Brian. Or was it all about getting Ted out of trouble? Well, we'll see ...
"Jesus. When did you become a selfish prick, Justin?”
Look in the mirror, Ethan, before you accuse other people ...
Justin sighed. “We had a fight.”
Daphne’s face lit up. “Really?”
*snickers* You write the truest and funniest Daphne.
The one that gave him the choice… that always gave him the choice.
Oh, I love that sentence. It's so painfully true, and for Justin to remember and to realize what it really meant and what he gave up ... *sighs*
Debbie was furious, and somewhere in her where she wouldn’t admit it, she was terrified that they had lost Brian for good. The boy she knew once had disappeared completely and she couldn’t do anything to stop it.
Thinking back to the first time I watched season 3 I can so relate to Debbie's feeling here. Like she said after Brian lost his job and they had their "herbally enhanced" conversation, she thought he had finally gone too far. But she of all people should have known that deep inside Brian is the most caring person ever.
Love the scene in Debbie's house with the whole gang around. It's so vivid, and, yay, it has Vic in it. He is the one I miss the most post 513. *sighs*
Hope you had a fantastic weekend and a safe trip home. :-)
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So much going on in this chapter! But what will stick with me is that I worry about what's going on with Brian. Or was it all about getting Ted out of trouble? Well, we'll see ...
Oh your very welcome! And I can def. say there's more going on... :)
Yeah...Ethan is a bit of an ass isn't he? He was sucha putz lol...
*snickers* You write the truest and funniest Daphne.
Oh thank you! That makes me so happy because I just adore that girl lol...
Oh, I love that sentence. It's so painfully true, and for Justin to remember and to realize what it really meant and what he gave up ... *sighs*
You know he doesn't think about it too much on purpose. It tends to sneak up on him but yeah...he'll address what you're talking about really soon.
Thinking back to the first time I watched season 3 I can so relate to Debbie's feeling here. Like she said after Brian lost his job and they had their "herbally enhanced" conversation, she thought he had finally gone too far. But she of all people should have known that deep inside Brian is the most caring person ever.
Love the scene in Debbie's house with the whole gang around. It's so vivid, and, yay, it has Vic in it. He is the one I miss the most post 513. *sighs*
Hope you had a fantastic weekend and a safe trip home. :-)
You know up until Season 3, Debbie was always hot and cold with Brian. He was, I think to her, like that kid that you may have who you love completely but may not like very much. But after the Stockwell thing I think she truly SAW him and would always understand where he was coming from. It started in the "herbally enhanced" scene lol.
Oh Vic...I miss Vic. Indebted might make you happy then...lol.
We had a great time! Thanks!
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all he is family. I'm still wondering if what
has been bothering Brian was the Ted situation
or is it something else.
You have me worried!!
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I see an other nice work of you :D
I like this idea AU about the 3° season *___*
I am pretty curious :D eheheh
see soon :D
have a nice day ;D
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Have a lovely time at Pride!
Hugs,
Arlad
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*Hugs*
Arlad
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AND YAY! I gots me a buddy now! I'm so excited about your story. :)
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Ahh... Daphne and Cynthia! Where would Justin and Brian be without them. ;D
I absolutely LOVE Ben betting on Brian to help Teddy out. :D
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Have fun!
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Thank you for reading! And if you still are...more soon lol.
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I can't wait to read more. And since I'd hate to miss the new chapter, I'll add you to my f*list, if you don't mind.
jojo
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Hmm. I've been thinking that Brian might be sick, but now, I'm wondering if he's being blackmailed...can't wait to find out!
I've always thought that Justin would have a pretty strong relationship with Gus after babysitting him over the years and being so close to Mel and Linds (and Brian, of course), so it's fun to see Gus so excited to see Justin.
And I really like the incorporation of canon elements and situations, from various episodes into this story. I eagerly await the next installment. This one was wonderful, as usual. :)
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Justin and Gus practically grew up together LOL. Okay, not really but yeah...I always imagined they had a close relationship.
Thank you so much. I'm trying really hard to keep some of the canon while adding my own twist. You should see the notes I have on this story lol...
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p.s. Have fun at Pride!
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Thank you. We had a blast!
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I loved Daphne's reaction concerning Ethan, Ben betting that Brian will help Ted and Justin playing with Gus on the floor.
And now I'm curious about what will happen next.
Susanne
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Sometimes I forget which one this story is, lol, and then I remember and I get excited :) I think I know a good deal about *plot* here, but maybe not so much about the best part, which is the B/J interaction... so I want more of that! He showed up, that's a good sign! Now where's the next chapter??
*mwaa*
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OT: Dude, I just wrote a scathing email to my Film teacher. I hate that bitch.
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You know I'm beginning to think the show could have been so much better if *this* really had happened *G*
Loved this: “Like I said, I didn’t do anything. Let’s just say that Teddy has some friends in high places.” She let the words sink in and then turned to take her son from Lindsey.
Justin looked at Daphne, who grinned at him triumphantly and mouthed, ‘See?’ :D Daphne is amazing *nods*
Of course now I'm eager to see what happens next...
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It's kinda way I'm doing it. I LOVED the reunion, wouldn't have changed that for anything in the world, but I always wanted more from both characters about it. Mostly Justin. I wanted him to have a had made a more clear choice lol. AND I kinda wanted Brian to play a little more hard to get lol...
Daphne is just -- dude, she's just the best lol!
Thank you for reading and the lovely comments!
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I love how you worked everyone in this chapter. We got to see Cynthia and Daphne also, favourites of mine. And Gus, that wonderful, tiny vignette of Gus patting Justin's cheeks because he is happy to see him was so sweet. You are doing a wonderful job with all the characterizations.
More soon please?
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More soon, yes... :)
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I did find this sentence problematic however...
Daphne shook her head. “Whatever that’s about has more to do you with your breakup than anything-”
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