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freakykatDisclaimer: I neither know nor own Jake or Van. Nor any of the other peoples. This is NOT real. It is fiction based on an overactive imagination and lots of ATWT viewing. None of the events in this story have happened. Thank you for your time!
Title: Lights, Camera...
Sequel/Series: series...maybe.
Words: 4150
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
freakykat
Time Frame: It's an AU kind of place. Um...future?
Summary: He’d almost gotten off on a photo shoot. Oh my god.
Rating: PG-13 actions with R-rated sensations (Credit towouldbedorothy for that!)
Notes: Lovely betawouldbedorothy. As always I am in YOUR debt. Thanks to her and forbiddenromanc for the browbeating encouragement. This was done for the ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
boys4all's "Photography" prompt.
Disclaimer: I own none of this. I has no money. Please don't sue.
Lights, Camera…
“Okay, a little more to the right, Van. Yeah. That’s it. Thank you.” The flash of the camera blinded him and he suppressed another sigh. He hated these shoots. Even the ones like this where he wasn’t alone. He could make out the noise from the sidelines where Marnie, Billy, Agim and Tala waited for their own individual shots. He caught Tala’s eye and she gave him a reassuring smile, mouthing, “He’ll be here soon.”
Van lost his footing and heard the smattering of laughter from the peanut gallery.
Billy hooted at him. “Looking hot, Hansis.”
“Don’t I always,” Van replied, winking at Marnie and Tala. They giggled in agreement and Van caught Billy rolling his eyes.
“Okay, you’re finished, Van. Thanks.”
Nodding, he moved to the side, heading straight for the craft services table. He was starving, having come straight from the studio to the photo shoot. He had been too nervous to eat earlier. It was too late for this. Sweeps taping had been ridiculous. Production had been running for sixteen hours or more a day. He couldn’t believe they were doing this at this late hour. He was exhausted… physically, emotionally and mentally. Today had been especially difficult… every emotion a thousand times more potent.
In the midst of the crises happening in Oakdale… with every character in the same huge set trying to survive an impending disaster (Van still wondering who he would have to make pay for this idea)…
Noah had returned.
Which meant…
Jake had returned.
Van could feel his hands shaking slightly, something he couldn’t name vibrating under his skin.
Jake had come back.
Elena would have rolled her eyes at him if she had been there.
He knew that it wasn’t like Jake had been lost for decades. It had only been six months since he’d been let go. Noah and Jake had both disappeared into the sunset leaving Luke and Van behind. It had hurt more than he admitted. Losing Jake had left him flying blind when it came to Luke, and if he was honest, Van had felt it as well.
Less than a month later, Jake had called to tell him he was headed to LA to help an old film school buddy make a movie and he wasn’t sure when they’d be done. He told him he’d miss him. Asked him to call and email.
Van had promised to.
But when it had become too hard to deal with how much he missed Jake, he stopped calling. Ignored as many emails as he could. And the months had passed and they’d lost contact.
Until two days ago…
“Okay, we’re taking a break. Then the next group comes up. Hopefully by the time we get that done, everyone will be here and we can get the fun underway.” David, the photographer, waved at the large blank area to his right. Van looked cautiously up at the hanging metal tubing overhead.
“Wonderful.”
Billy patted his shoulder as he passed his side, winking. “It’ll be okay.”
“I hate this.”
Billy nodded. “I know. But hey! Jake is here. He always made these things a little more tolerable, right?” Van nodded, smiling stiffly, and Billy walked off to the corner where Tala was standing.
Van glanced at his watch… Jake was late.
It was a habit with him. Always had been. Van knew that. Jake was never too late… just consistently a little late. A few minutes only, usually. More than likely, he’d gotten caught up in some filming, since Elena and Alex weren’t there yet either.
And on any other day, Van wouldn’t have been annoyed.
But this was their first shoot since Jake (and Noah) had returned to the show from his “hiatus” as the show called it. Van wanted to be near Jake. To spend time with his friend. His partner in crime. His acting soul mate, as his mother had once called Jake.
When Chris had approached Jake at one of the meetings six months before and asked him to stay behind, Van’s heart had plummeted. He had walked slowly back to his room, trying to convince himself that he was paranoid. That it could mean anything. But when the door had opened a half hour later and he’d looked at Jake’s eyes, he’d known.
He had ranted and raved for another half hour, wanting to punch something and threatening to quit. Jake had grabbed his shoulder and hugged him tight, thanking him for that but saying that Van still had a lot to tell as Luke and it wouldn’t be fair to their and his fans. That had been when it happened.
Van had felt so much… so many emotions running under his skin… and when he leaned away from Jake, they had overwhelmed him, and before he knew it, he’d kissed Jake. It wasn’t much. His lips on Jake’s warm ones. Maybe five seconds. When they pulled back, Jake’s eyes had darkened, heat flashing in them. Van inhaled deeply then, eyes widening slightly as Jake’s mouth inched closer…
And the door had burst open with Billy and Marnie, hands waving around, upset and yelling. Jake and Van had jumped apart, eyes meeting for a brief moment before they turned to comfort their friends.
Everything after that had been a blur. Final scenes to shoot… some of the hardest of Van’s life… parties to attend… boxes to pack… Jake’s dressing room to clean out… and as much time with other people as Van could manage.
Van knew he had avoided Jake. Every single time Jake wanted to talk, Van found something else for them to do. Afraid to find out that it had all been a fluke. More afraid to know it wasn’t. He’d convinced himself that whatever happened had been in his head. His straight co-star had not responded to a kiss. Not at all. Once he was convinced of that, he’d laugh and call himself a liar.
It had happened. It should be dealt with…
And then Jake was gone.
Leaving Van with all these questions and wants that he had no answers for. Answers he avoided getting. If he didn’t know, it wouldn’t break him.
Except Jake had come back.
Van smiled at the memory of walking into the rehearsal hall, a little irritated that Billy had summoned him there. He’d found a couple of new scripts, half the pages in pink at his dressing room door. More rewrites. He had glanced at the dates, groaning that it was for the two upcoming shows he was filming, and had started to open them when he’d gotten the call.
“Get down to rehearsal, Hansis. Now.” Then a dial tone.
Van almost didn’t go. But Billy had been acting weird for a few days and he was one of Van’s closest friends on set. Especially now….
When he’d walked in the room, it was Billy’s grinning face that had greeted him, and then his eyes had focused on dark hair… tall… and Van had gotten such a sense of déjà vu that he had skidded to a halt. Jake had turned then and grinned at him. The scripts fell to the floor and he had crashed into Jake. And then Billy had joined them, hugging them both. The next hour had been filled with laughter and reproaches. No one had told Van that Jake was back. The show had wanted to keep it as secret as possible.
Billy had been told two days before when he had received a few extra sheets of script indicating scenes with Noah. He’d been sworn (READ: threatened) to secrecy.
Van hadn’t cared.
Jake was back. For good. Or as long as they wanted.
Chris assured Van that this had been the plan all along. That he had wanted to tell this love story with valleys and peaks… blah, blah, blah.
All Van knew was that his partner, his friend… whatever else Jake was to him had come back. Luke would see Noah soon and it would begin all over again. Scenes where they touched. Where their bodies would cover each other. Where they would kiss. Jake in his space. Jake making him laugh. Jake touching his hand, his face, his skin…
Van wasn’t sure if that was good.
Staring at the entrance, he frowned, realizing he had no idea what Jake wanted. They’d never spoken about that day. Granted, Van had avoided it at all costs. But Jake had never pushed.
What if it had meant… nothing more than a goodbye?
His heart thudded then. What if Jake had met someone? He hadn’t tried to talk to him in the last two days. Of course, if he wasn’t working, he was probably settling back into his life. Maybe he didn’t have the time yet.
Or maybe he didn’t care.
Jesus Christ. Van thought Luke could take lessons from him on queening out.
The doors opened and Elena walked in followed closely by Alex… and bringing up the rear was Jake.
Jesus. He looked good.
Apparently, Noah had learned how to dress in the six months since he’d been gone, because Jake’s wardrobe was incredible. It was the leather jacket that Van coveted the most. He caught Jake’s gaze and smiled, waving him over. Jake grinned, shaking his head slightly and motioning to the changing room.
Right.
The damn shoot.
He watched as the three disappeared through the doors and then felt a hand on his shoulder. Kyle smiled at him, handing him some shorts. “I believe they want us to change, Mr. Hansis.”
Kyle had become a good friend. Luke’s slight romance with the “new” Kevin had met with lukewarm response, though. Kyle had said it best once… “Dude, I watched Luke and Noah. After that… this… well. You know. Eh.” Maybe it had been making Kevin bisexual… maybe it had been too soon… maybe doing another triangle… maybe people hadn’t wanted to see Luke fight again for love. Maybe it was that neither Luke nor Van’s hearts were invested in it. Whatever the reason, it hadn’t worked. And the show had now veered Kevin toward Ali… Marnie was thrilled to play all the meaty stuff with Kyle.
Van was a little envious.
He snapped out of his slight reverie and followed Kyle to the changing rooms. Making quick work of it, he traded his clothes for swim shorts and flip flops. He walked out and watched as Jake, Elena and Alex all got their individuals shots. When it was over, they’d stripped, their suits under their clothes, to hoots and whistles provided by Billy because… come on. It was Billy.
Everyone was finally in their swimwear, and David, their photographer, clapped his hands together. “Okay, guys! Here’s the fun part.” He held his hands up at the snorts and muttering (except for Billy’s “woot!”), nodding his head. “I know. You’re tired. You’ve been shooting all day. It’s sweeps. It’s late. You want to go home. I know.”
Van made a “No shit” face and caught Jake glancing at him, laughing. He rolled his eyes and tucked his arms across his chest.
“But listen. You can let out some steam here, guys. The water’s going to be turned on, okay. We’re going to do some group shots. Everyone just splashing each other. Dancing…”
Jake cleared his throat. “Dancing?”
Van grinned now. Jake was a decent dancer… at times. But he wasn’t fond of it.
David smiled, too. “Yes, Jake. Dancing. You know, the young set… the future of Oakdale dancing. It’s a photo. No one will really see you doing it.” Van snorted at Jake’s unhappy face as David continued. “Then, we’ll take some standing all together. Different positions. And finally we’ll finish off with couple shots… um… Billy, Elena and Alex, Billy and Elena, Marnie and Kyle, Tala and Agim, and the last will be Van and Jake.” David looked at them then. “Yours is a little longer, so I figured everyone else could get theirs done first.”
Van swallowed, sighing. “Great.”
Jake nodded. “Yeah. That works for me.”
Their eyes met across the room and Van turned away quickly.
He so hated this.
“I so hate this.”
Van had to admit that the group shots were fun to do. Once they had all been placed on the stage, the overhead sprinklers were opened, and after an initial moment of frozen shock at being wet, they had all started playing around. Cupping hands to gather water and splashing one another. Someone had thrown in a big beach ball. They’d started a game with it. The water gathered at their feet, the stage having been designed to allow that, and Van had reached down to splash at Alex. He’d slipped and fallen, bringing her down with him. Jake laughed and almost immediately tripped, falling down as well. Alex clutched her stomach, the three rolling around.
Van was aware that in the background David was snapping away, giving instructions, but for the most part he seemed to let them do whatever they wanted. The group still shots were a lot more interesting. He was facing Kyle’s back, one hand on his shoulder, waiting for David’s next instruction. He watched as he placed Billy and Elena facing each other, heads touching. Van smiled. It would be a nice shot.
Returning to where Van, Marnie and Kyle stood, David nodded at their positions, then looking over at Jake, who was standing quietly to the side, he motioned with his hand. Jake moved to where David pointed, right next to Van. “Okay, Jake, turn your back so that it faces Van’s back. Awesome. I want you to reach one hand back. Okay. Now, Van you reach your free hand back, too. Touch fingers.”
Van closed his eyes. Well, shit…
He stretched his fingers out, colliding with Jake’s skin and fighting the urge to pull away from the sensations. But he didn’t. He was a professional, god damn it! He could do this. When their fingers grazed, clutching and releasing, almost but not quite holding on, David grinned. “Perfect. Keep doing that.”
Van snorted. Sure, just keep torturing yourself. It’s no big deal. He felt Jake’s fingers tense for a second and Van looked back, smiling in assurance. Jake held his gaze, the smile he gave Van was his slow burner one, growing as Van stared.
It really wasn’t fair of Jake to look so good.
David stopped snapping, looking at them. “Oh! I love that. Keep looking at each other. No smiles, though. Longing. Can you do that?”
Jake cleared his throat, speaking softly, eyes on Van. “I can do that.”
Van held his breath through the shots, ignoring the tingling that ran straight down his spine and spiked into desire somewhere between his heart and his stomach. He realized, not entirely shocked, that he was hard. He let out a long sigh, keeping his body away from Kyle’s. He needed this to be over. Like yesterday.
“Okay, that was great. Van and Jake, why don’t you two go change into dry clothes. Then I want you guys over there near the wall.” Van glanced at Jake, who smiled at him, and in unison they moved toward the dressing room.
“You so hate this.”
Van glanced at Jake, startled that he was so transparent. “Is it that obvious?”
“No. I mean, not unless someone knows you.” Jake paused for a moment then motioned behind him. “I’m gonna… I’ll meet you at the wall.”
“Right.” Van entered the one of the other changing rooms, and when the door closed, leaned his head against the wall with a thud.
“Oh god… this sucks.”
It had taken them less than five minutes to change and meet at the far end of the room near the wall David had specified.
It was almost awkward between them. Something neither was prepared for or used to. They always had an ease with each other. Falling into a friendship for them had been like breathing. Now… it was different.
“This is stupid.” Jake turned to look at Van. “We need to talk.”
Van glanced out over the room. “Um… right now? I mean, you know. This isn’t exactly…” Van stopped and cut a glance over to Jake. “Wait, talk about what?”
Jake ran a hand down his face. “I swear, Van, I am going to kill you.” He glared at him. “Why did you stop calling? Emailing?”
“Why did you?”
“Because you weren’t responding, dumbass. I wasn’t going to make MORE of a fool out of myself by stalking you.” Jake grimaced at the thought. “For almost a month, I’d wake up every day and have to stop myself from getting on a plane and coming back here.”
Van stood still, not daring to look over at Jake. “Really? Why?”
“I was planning on kicking your ass.”
Van smiled despite Jake’s tone. “That I would have liked to have seen.”
Jake inched closer, his arm brushing Van’s. “Probably would have ended up with a black eye.”
Van nodded, swallowing past the lump in his throat. “Probably.”
“Or we would have ended up…” Jake let the sentence trail off. The look in his eyes finished it for him, and Van opened his mouth to comment on the weather, the floor… whatever… anything to avoid what he really wanted to say, when David appeared.
“You guys ready?”
“Um… sure. If you tell us what you want.” Jake stammered a little, glancing at Van before turning his attention to David.
Van knew he was safe. Jake was a professional.
“Yeah. What exactly are we doing, David?”
David rolled his eyes. “It’s not the first time you two have had to do this, right? I know it’s been a long time, but you know… just stand next to each other.”
Van felt rather than saw Jake move to his side. He kept his eyes firmly on the camera pointed in his direction. There was heat and scent and skin… too much of it swirling around him. Too much of Jake, and he closed his eyes for just a moment to center himself. There was a flash and he opened them to see David grinning at him.
“That was perfect, Van! I liked that decision to close your eyes. I think these are going to turn out really great if you keep this up.”
Immediately, Van felt the tension in his limbs, and the longer David snapped away, the tenser he seemed to get. Jake was following suit, because he was pretty damn stiff himself. It wasn’t long before the flashes stopped and Van looked up at David, whose face was more than a little bemused. “Um… guys. Maybe you could relax a little.”
“Sorry.”
“Yeah. Sorry.”
David sighed, shaking his head. “Okay, look. Just loosen up a little. Get closer. Go into character if you have to. It’s been what, six months since you’ve been together? You’re still supposed to be in love. Add to all that the longing that comes from separation and well… give me something!”
Van nodded. “Okay. We can do that.” He glanced at Jake, caught his eyes, dark and teasing. “Jake?”
“I can do that.”
Van swallowed past the lump in his throat, nodding when Jake reached out a hand, and taking it in his. The jolt that ran over his skin… into his heart and down to his cock was instantaneous. They hadn’t touched like this for what seemed, like, ever. He waited to see what the next move was.
Jake turned to David. “Can I make a suggestion? You tell me if it works.”
David nodded. “Feel free.”
“I think we should go against the wall.” Jake ignored the wide-eyed look Van was giving him and tugged Van toward the back of the room. He turned to David. “What exactly are you looking for, David?”
“Intimacy. Something that hasn’t been before. Times are changing. This is a big deal. I want a splash. I want something real. It‘s got to be meaningful but, well… hot.” David laughed that time, even though it was the truth.
Jake nodded at him before glancing at Van. “We can do real.”
Van sighed. “We can.”
“Good.”
Pushing Van’s back against the wall, Jake leaned his whole body flush against him. Without taking his eyes off Van for a moment, he spoke to David. “Whenever you’re ready.”
“Ready.”
The clicking had begun already and Van blocked out the sound, the smell of burning images, the whiteness that followed the bulbs. He concentrated on Jake’s blue eyes, so close to his. Jake’s hands skimming over Van’s skin, up and over and under… When he felt the first one against his stomach, there was no stopping the shudder. His eyes closing, Van leaned his head back against the wall, lips parting slightly. Van gripped at Jake’s hips, pulling him closer, and he heard the sharp intake of Jake’s breath.
Opening his eyes, he met dark blue and leaned his face closer, skimming lips against Jake’s. Hands reached for his face, held him still and tasted slowly, purposely. There was a sudden flash of light and Van remembered where he was.
And suddenly realized he didn’t care.
He could hear David muttering instructions, praising them for their job, but it was muted by the sound of his own heart beating in his ears. By Jake’s ragged breathing against his cheek, where he was leaning in an effort, Van thought, not to fall.
“Jake.”
The whisper fell from his lips and Van felt the tension in Jake’s back, and wanting to help, he ran his hands over the muscles, catching the trembles on his fingertips. He wanted to say so many things, and maybe without Jake looking at him, he might have a chance.
As Van opened his mouth, his words were cut off on a strangled groan… Jake’s knee had found its way between his legs, and the pressure on his hard cock shot pleasure-pain all through him. He clamped fingers on Jake’s shoulders, steadying himself. “Oh, god.” The pressure lessened and then just as quickly increased. Van leaned into it, seeking more contact… more of heat and hardness… more Jake. When his hips began to move, he felt hands at his sides. Jake’s voice in his ear. “Van. The camera….”against the side of his face…
Van shook his head. He knew the camera was there. He couldn’t help it. “Then, stop!”
Jake did suddenly, leaving Van with desire swirling around him. They pulled away and David’s voice came to them.
“That was… wow. Guys. Amazing.”
With the distance between them, Van could think rationally, and he covered his face with his hands. He’d almost gotten off on a photo shoot. Oh my god. He didn’t look at Jake as he walked past him to the changing room. He wanted to go home. Van would avoid Jake until this was just another…
Jesus. He could never see Jake again. Van’s head fell with a thud against one side of the dressing room. He couldn’t look at him because if he did… he’d take him. He would.
The knock on the door made him jump, and Van turned to see Jake open the door, eyes meeting his.
“I’m sorry.”
Van pulled his shirt over his head and smiled slightly. “It’s okay. I was decent.”
Jake slipped through the door, closing it behind him. “That’s not what I meant.”
Van’s heart sunk a little. He was sorry… for… what?
“I shouldn’t have done that like that. In there. It’s wasn’t the right time.”
Van’s eyes widened when Jake closed the distance between them, grabbing the back of his head in one hand and crashing their lips together. Van opened his mouth, licking at Jake’s lips, grabbing hold of Jake’s shirt… hearing the groan he let out. His own hand found Jake’s face, sliding over skin to his neck and firmly stilling his movements.
God, it was good. Better than good. It was everything he wanted and wouldn’t allow himself.
When Jake pulled back, he made a noise of protest and grabbed for him again. He felt the cold air hit him when Jake moved further away. He stared, confused, into darkened eyes, seeing a lot of words in them that he wasn’t sure he knew what to do with.
“Jake.”
“I waited for you.”
Van blinked, heart thudding in his chest, breath held.
“I waited for you to call or write or even just fucking email. You didn’t.”
“I know.”
Jake nodded. “I want you, Van. Always have.” He glanced up to make sure Van was paying attention. “We could be good.” When he received no confirmation nor denial, Jake sighed and continued. “You’re going to have to make the next move.”
He turned to the door, glancing back once.
“Please don’t… wait.”
Van watched the door close behind him, his words echoing in his ears…
Well. That was kind of fun. *grin*
Title: Lights, Camera...
Sequel/Series: series...maybe.
Words: 4150
Author:
freakykatTime Frame: It's an AU kind of place. Um...future?
Summary: He’d almost gotten off on a photo shoot. Oh my god.
Rating: PG-13 actions with R-rated sensations (Credit to
wouldbedorothy for that!)Notes: Lovely beta
wouldbedorothy. As always I am in YOUR debt. Thanks to her and forbiddenromanc for the boys4all's "Photography" prompt. Disclaimer: I own none of this. I has no money. Please don't sue.
Lights, Camera…
“Okay, a little more to the right, Van. Yeah. That’s it. Thank you.” The flash of the camera blinded him and he suppressed another sigh. He hated these shoots. Even the ones like this where he wasn’t alone. He could make out the noise from the sidelines where Marnie, Billy, Agim and Tala waited for their own individual shots. He caught Tala’s eye and she gave him a reassuring smile, mouthing, “He’ll be here soon.”
Van lost his footing and heard the smattering of laughter from the peanut gallery.
Billy hooted at him. “Looking hot, Hansis.”
“Don’t I always,” Van replied, winking at Marnie and Tala. They giggled in agreement and Van caught Billy rolling his eyes.
“Okay, you’re finished, Van. Thanks.”
Nodding, he moved to the side, heading straight for the craft services table. He was starving, having come straight from the studio to the photo shoot. He had been too nervous to eat earlier. It was too late for this. Sweeps taping had been ridiculous. Production had been running for sixteen hours or more a day. He couldn’t believe they were doing this at this late hour. He was exhausted… physically, emotionally and mentally. Today had been especially difficult… every emotion a thousand times more potent.
In the midst of the crises happening in Oakdale… with every character in the same huge set trying to survive an impending disaster (Van still wondering who he would have to make pay for this idea)…
Noah had returned.
Which meant…
Jake had returned.
Van could feel his hands shaking slightly, something he couldn’t name vibrating under his skin.
Jake had come back.
Elena would have rolled her eyes at him if she had been there.
He knew that it wasn’t like Jake had been lost for decades. It had only been six months since he’d been let go. Noah and Jake had both disappeared into the sunset leaving Luke and Van behind. It had hurt more than he admitted. Losing Jake had left him flying blind when it came to Luke, and if he was honest, Van had felt it as well.
Less than a month later, Jake had called to tell him he was headed to LA to help an old film school buddy make a movie and he wasn’t sure when they’d be done. He told him he’d miss him. Asked him to call and email.
Van had promised to.
But when it had become too hard to deal with how much he missed Jake, he stopped calling. Ignored as many emails as he could. And the months had passed and they’d lost contact.
Until two days ago…
“Okay, we’re taking a break. Then the next group comes up. Hopefully by the time we get that done, everyone will be here and we can get the fun underway.” David, the photographer, waved at the large blank area to his right. Van looked cautiously up at the hanging metal tubing overhead.
“Wonderful.”
Billy patted his shoulder as he passed his side, winking. “It’ll be okay.”
“I hate this.”
Billy nodded. “I know. But hey! Jake is here. He always made these things a little more tolerable, right?” Van nodded, smiling stiffly, and Billy walked off to the corner where Tala was standing.
Van glanced at his watch… Jake was late.
It was a habit with him. Always had been. Van knew that. Jake was never too late… just consistently a little late. A few minutes only, usually. More than likely, he’d gotten caught up in some filming, since Elena and Alex weren’t there yet either.
And on any other day, Van wouldn’t have been annoyed.
But this was their first shoot since Jake (and Noah) had returned to the show from his “hiatus” as the show called it. Van wanted to be near Jake. To spend time with his friend. His partner in crime. His acting soul mate, as his mother had once called Jake.
When Chris had approached Jake at one of the meetings six months before and asked him to stay behind, Van’s heart had plummeted. He had walked slowly back to his room, trying to convince himself that he was paranoid. That it could mean anything. But when the door had opened a half hour later and he’d looked at Jake’s eyes, he’d known.
He had ranted and raved for another half hour, wanting to punch something and threatening to quit. Jake had grabbed his shoulder and hugged him tight, thanking him for that but saying that Van still had a lot to tell as Luke and it wouldn’t be fair to their and his fans. That had been when it happened.
Van had felt so much… so many emotions running under his skin… and when he leaned away from Jake, they had overwhelmed him, and before he knew it, he’d kissed Jake. It wasn’t much. His lips on Jake’s warm ones. Maybe five seconds. When they pulled back, Jake’s eyes had darkened, heat flashing in them. Van inhaled deeply then, eyes widening slightly as Jake’s mouth inched closer…
And the door had burst open with Billy and Marnie, hands waving around, upset and yelling. Jake and Van had jumped apart, eyes meeting for a brief moment before they turned to comfort their friends.
Everything after that had been a blur. Final scenes to shoot… some of the hardest of Van’s life… parties to attend… boxes to pack… Jake’s dressing room to clean out… and as much time with other people as Van could manage.
Van knew he had avoided Jake. Every single time Jake wanted to talk, Van found something else for them to do. Afraid to find out that it had all been a fluke. More afraid to know it wasn’t. He’d convinced himself that whatever happened had been in his head. His straight co-star had not responded to a kiss. Not at all. Once he was convinced of that, he’d laugh and call himself a liar.
It had happened. It should be dealt with…
And then Jake was gone.
Leaving Van with all these questions and wants that he had no answers for. Answers he avoided getting. If he didn’t know, it wouldn’t break him.
Except Jake had come back.
Van smiled at the memory of walking into the rehearsal hall, a little irritated that Billy had summoned him there. He’d found a couple of new scripts, half the pages in pink at his dressing room door. More rewrites. He had glanced at the dates, groaning that it was for the two upcoming shows he was filming, and had started to open them when he’d gotten the call.
“Get down to rehearsal, Hansis. Now.” Then a dial tone.
Van almost didn’t go. But Billy had been acting weird for a few days and he was one of Van’s closest friends on set. Especially now….
When he’d walked in the room, it was Billy’s grinning face that had greeted him, and then his eyes had focused on dark hair… tall… and Van had gotten such a sense of déjà vu that he had skidded to a halt. Jake had turned then and grinned at him. The scripts fell to the floor and he had crashed into Jake. And then Billy had joined them, hugging them both. The next hour had been filled with laughter and reproaches. No one had told Van that Jake was back. The show had wanted to keep it as secret as possible.
Billy had been told two days before when he had received a few extra sheets of script indicating scenes with Noah. He’d been sworn (READ: threatened) to secrecy.
Van hadn’t cared.
Jake was back. For good. Or as long as they wanted.
Chris assured Van that this had been the plan all along. That he had wanted to tell this love story with valleys and peaks… blah, blah, blah.
All Van knew was that his partner, his friend… whatever else Jake was to him had come back. Luke would see Noah soon and it would begin all over again. Scenes where they touched. Where their bodies would cover each other. Where they would kiss. Jake in his space. Jake making him laugh. Jake touching his hand, his face, his skin…
Van wasn’t sure if that was good.
Staring at the entrance, he frowned, realizing he had no idea what Jake wanted. They’d never spoken about that day. Granted, Van had avoided it at all costs. But Jake had never pushed.
What if it had meant… nothing more than a goodbye?
His heart thudded then. What if Jake had met someone? He hadn’t tried to talk to him in the last two days. Of course, if he wasn’t working, he was probably settling back into his life. Maybe he didn’t have the time yet.
Or maybe he didn’t care.
Jesus Christ. Van thought Luke could take lessons from him on queening out.
The doors opened and Elena walked in followed closely by Alex… and bringing up the rear was Jake.
Jesus. He looked good.
Apparently, Noah had learned how to dress in the six months since he’d been gone, because Jake’s wardrobe was incredible. It was the leather jacket that Van coveted the most. He caught Jake’s gaze and smiled, waving him over. Jake grinned, shaking his head slightly and motioning to the changing room.
Right.
The damn shoot.
He watched as the three disappeared through the doors and then felt a hand on his shoulder. Kyle smiled at him, handing him some shorts. “I believe they want us to change, Mr. Hansis.”
Kyle had become a good friend. Luke’s slight romance with the “new” Kevin had met with lukewarm response, though. Kyle had said it best once… “Dude, I watched Luke and Noah. After that… this… well. You know. Eh.” Maybe it had been making Kevin bisexual… maybe it had been too soon… maybe doing another triangle… maybe people hadn’t wanted to see Luke fight again for love. Maybe it was that neither Luke nor Van’s hearts were invested in it. Whatever the reason, it hadn’t worked. And the show had now veered Kevin toward Ali… Marnie was thrilled to play all the meaty stuff with Kyle.
Van was a little envious.
He snapped out of his slight reverie and followed Kyle to the changing rooms. Making quick work of it, he traded his clothes for swim shorts and flip flops. He walked out and watched as Jake, Elena and Alex all got their individuals shots. When it was over, they’d stripped, their suits under their clothes, to hoots and whistles provided by Billy because… come on. It was Billy.
Everyone was finally in their swimwear, and David, their photographer, clapped his hands together. “Okay, guys! Here’s the fun part.” He held his hands up at the snorts and muttering (except for Billy’s “woot!”), nodding his head. “I know. You’re tired. You’ve been shooting all day. It’s sweeps. It’s late. You want to go home. I know.”
Van made a “No shit” face and caught Jake glancing at him, laughing. He rolled his eyes and tucked his arms across his chest.
“But listen. You can let out some steam here, guys. The water’s going to be turned on, okay. We’re going to do some group shots. Everyone just splashing each other. Dancing…”
Jake cleared his throat. “Dancing?”
Van grinned now. Jake was a decent dancer… at times. But he wasn’t fond of it.
David smiled, too. “Yes, Jake. Dancing. You know, the young set… the future of Oakdale dancing. It’s a photo. No one will really see you doing it.” Van snorted at Jake’s unhappy face as David continued. “Then, we’ll take some standing all together. Different positions. And finally we’ll finish off with couple shots… um… Billy, Elena and Alex, Billy and Elena, Marnie and Kyle, Tala and Agim, and the last will be Van and Jake.” David looked at them then. “Yours is a little longer, so I figured everyone else could get theirs done first.”
Van swallowed, sighing. “Great.”
Jake nodded. “Yeah. That works for me.”
Their eyes met across the room and Van turned away quickly.
He so hated this.
“I so hate this.”
Van had to admit that the group shots were fun to do. Once they had all been placed on the stage, the overhead sprinklers were opened, and after an initial moment of frozen shock at being wet, they had all started playing around. Cupping hands to gather water and splashing one another. Someone had thrown in a big beach ball. They’d started a game with it. The water gathered at their feet, the stage having been designed to allow that, and Van had reached down to splash at Alex. He’d slipped and fallen, bringing her down with him. Jake laughed and almost immediately tripped, falling down as well. Alex clutched her stomach, the three rolling around.
Van was aware that in the background David was snapping away, giving instructions, but for the most part he seemed to let them do whatever they wanted. The group still shots were a lot more interesting. He was facing Kyle’s back, one hand on his shoulder, waiting for David’s next instruction. He watched as he placed Billy and Elena facing each other, heads touching. Van smiled. It would be a nice shot.
Returning to where Van, Marnie and Kyle stood, David nodded at their positions, then looking over at Jake, who was standing quietly to the side, he motioned with his hand. Jake moved to where David pointed, right next to Van. “Okay, Jake, turn your back so that it faces Van’s back. Awesome. I want you to reach one hand back. Okay. Now, Van you reach your free hand back, too. Touch fingers.”
Van closed his eyes. Well, shit…
He stretched his fingers out, colliding with Jake’s skin and fighting the urge to pull away from the sensations. But he didn’t. He was a professional, god damn it! He could do this. When their fingers grazed, clutching and releasing, almost but not quite holding on, David grinned. “Perfect. Keep doing that.”
Van snorted. Sure, just keep torturing yourself. It’s no big deal. He felt Jake’s fingers tense for a second and Van looked back, smiling in assurance. Jake held his gaze, the smile he gave Van was his slow burner one, growing as Van stared.
It really wasn’t fair of Jake to look so good.
David stopped snapping, looking at them. “Oh! I love that. Keep looking at each other. No smiles, though. Longing. Can you do that?”
Jake cleared his throat, speaking softly, eyes on Van. “I can do that.”
Van held his breath through the shots, ignoring the tingling that ran straight down his spine and spiked into desire somewhere between his heart and his stomach. He realized, not entirely shocked, that he was hard. He let out a long sigh, keeping his body away from Kyle’s. He needed this to be over. Like yesterday.
“Okay, that was great. Van and Jake, why don’t you two go change into dry clothes. Then I want you guys over there near the wall.” Van glanced at Jake, who smiled at him, and in unison they moved toward the dressing room.
“You so hate this.”
Van glanced at Jake, startled that he was so transparent. “Is it that obvious?”
“No. I mean, not unless someone knows you.” Jake paused for a moment then motioned behind him. “I’m gonna… I’ll meet you at the wall.”
“Right.” Van entered the one of the other changing rooms, and when the door closed, leaned his head against the wall with a thud.
“Oh god… this sucks.”
It had taken them less than five minutes to change and meet at the far end of the room near the wall David had specified.
It was almost awkward between them. Something neither was prepared for or used to. They always had an ease with each other. Falling into a friendship for them had been like breathing. Now… it was different.
“This is stupid.” Jake turned to look at Van. “We need to talk.”
Van glanced out over the room. “Um… right now? I mean, you know. This isn’t exactly…” Van stopped and cut a glance over to Jake. “Wait, talk about what?”
Jake ran a hand down his face. “I swear, Van, I am going to kill you.” He glared at him. “Why did you stop calling? Emailing?”
“Why did you?”
“Because you weren’t responding, dumbass. I wasn’t going to make MORE of a fool out of myself by stalking you.” Jake grimaced at the thought. “For almost a month, I’d wake up every day and have to stop myself from getting on a plane and coming back here.”
Van stood still, not daring to look over at Jake. “Really? Why?”
“I was planning on kicking your ass.”
Van smiled despite Jake’s tone. “That I would have liked to have seen.”
Jake inched closer, his arm brushing Van’s. “Probably would have ended up with a black eye.”
Van nodded, swallowing past the lump in his throat. “Probably.”
“Or we would have ended up…” Jake let the sentence trail off. The look in his eyes finished it for him, and Van opened his mouth to comment on the weather, the floor… whatever… anything to avoid what he really wanted to say, when David appeared.
“You guys ready?”
“Um… sure. If you tell us what you want.” Jake stammered a little, glancing at Van before turning his attention to David.
Van knew he was safe. Jake was a professional.
“Yeah. What exactly are we doing, David?”
David rolled his eyes. “It’s not the first time you two have had to do this, right? I know it’s been a long time, but you know… just stand next to each other.”
Van felt rather than saw Jake move to his side. He kept his eyes firmly on the camera pointed in his direction. There was heat and scent and skin… too much of it swirling around him. Too much of Jake, and he closed his eyes for just a moment to center himself. There was a flash and he opened them to see David grinning at him.
“That was perfect, Van! I liked that decision to close your eyes. I think these are going to turn out really great if you keep this up.”
Immediately, Van felt the tension in his limbs, and the longer David snapped away, the tenser he seemed to get. Jake was following suit, because he was pretty damn stiff himself. It wasn’t long before the flashes stopped and Van looked up at David, whose face was more than a little bemused. “Um… guys. Maybe you could relax a little.”
“Sorry.”
“Yeah. Sorry.”
David sighed, shaking his head. “Okay, look. Just loosen up a little. Get closer. Go into character if you have to. It’s been what, six months since you’ve been together? You’re still supposed to be in love. Add to all that the longing that comes from separation and well… give me something!”
Van nodded. “Okay. We can do that.” He glanced at Jake, caught his eyes, dark and teasing. “Jake?”
“I can do that.”
Van swallowed past the lump in his throat, nodding when Jake reached out a hand, and taking it in his. The jolt that ran over his skin… into his heart and down to his cock was instantaneous. They hadn’t touched like this for what seemed, like, ever. He waited to see what the next move was.
Jake turned to David. “Can I make a suggestion? You tell me if it works.”
David nodded. “Feel free.”
“I think we should go against the wall.” Jake ignored the wide-eyed look Van was giving him and tugged Van toward the back of the room. He turned to David. “What exactly are you looking for, David?”
“Intimacy. Something that hasn’t been before. Times are changing. This is a big deal. I want a splash. I want something real. It‘s got to be meaningful but, well… hot.” David laughed that time, even though it was the truth.
Jake nodded at him before glancing at Van. “We can do real.”
Van sighed. “We can.”
“Good.”
Pushing Van’s back against the wall, Jake leaned his whole body flush against him. Without taking his eyes off Van for a moment, he spoke to David. “Whenever you’re ready.”
“Ready.”
The clicking had begun already and Van blocked out the sound, the smell of burning images, the whiteness that followed the bulbs. He concentrated on Jake’s blue eyes, so close to his. Jake’s hands skimming over Van’s skin, up and over and under… When he felt the first one against his stomach, there was no stopping the shudder. His eyes closing, Van leaned his head back against the wall, lips parting slightly. Van gripped at Jake’s hips, pulling him closer, and he heard the sharp intake of Jake’s breath.
Opening his eyes, he met dark blue and leaned his face closer, skimming lips against Jake’s. Hands reached for his face, held him still and tasted slowly, purposely. There was a sudden flash of light and Van remembered where he was.
And suddenly realized he didn’t care.
He could hear David muttering instructions, praising them for their job, but it was muted by the sound of his own heart beating in his ears. By Jake’s ragged breathing against his cheek, where he was leaning in an effort, Van thought, not to fall.
“Jake.”
The whisper fell from his lips and Van felt the tension in Jake’s back, and wanting to help, he ran his hands over the muscles, catching the trembles on his fingertips. He wanted to say so many things, and maybe without Jake looking at him, he might have a chance.
As Van opened his mouth, his words were cut off on a strangled groan… Jake’s knee had found its way between his legs, and the pressure on his hard cock shot pleasure-pain all through him. He clamped fingers on Jake’s shoulders, steadying himself. “Oh, god.” The pressure lessened and then just as quickly increased. Van leaned into it, seeking more contact… more of heat and hardness… more Jake. When his hips began to move, he felt hands at his sides. Jake’s voice in his ear. “Van. The camera….”against the side of his face…
Van shook his head. He knew the camera was there. He couldn’t help it. “Then, stop!”
Jake did suddenly, leaving Van with desire swirling around him. They pulled away and David’s voice came to them.
“That was… wow. Guys. Amazing.”
With the distance between them, Van could think rationally, and he covered his face with his hands. He’d almost gotten off on a photo shoot. Oh my god. He didn’t look at Jake as he walked past him to the changing room. He wanted to go home. Van would avoid Jake until this was just another…
Jesus. He could never see Jake again. Van’s head fell with a thud against one side of the dressing room. He couldn’t look at him because if he did… he’d take him. He would.
The knock on the door made him jump, and Van turned to see Jake open the door, eyes meeting his.
“I’m sorry.”
Van pulled his shirt over his head and smiled slightly. “It’s okay. I was decent.”
Jake slipped through the door, closing it behind him. “That’s not what I meant.”
Van’s heart sunk a little. He was sorry… for… what?
“I shouldn’t have done that like that. In there. It’s wasn’t the right time.”
Van’s eyes widened when Jake closed the distance between them, grabbing the back of his head in one hand and crashing their lips together. Van opened his mouth, licking at Jake’s lips, grabbing hold of Jake’s shirt… hearing the groan he let out. His own hand found Jake’s face, sliding over skin to his neck and firmly stilling his movements.
God, it was good. Better than good. It was everything he wanted and wouldn’t allow himself.
When Jake pulled back, he made a noise of protest and grabbed for him again. He felt the cold air hit him when Jake moved further away. He stared, confused, into darkened eyes, seeing a lot of words in them that he wasn’t sure he knew what to do with.
“Jake.”
“I waited for you.”
Van blinked, heart thudding in his chest, breath held.
“I waited for you to call or write or even just fucking email. You didn’t.”
“I know.”
Jake nodded. “I want you, Van. Always have.” He glanced up to make sure Van was paying attention. “We could be good.” When he received no confirmation nor denial, Jake sighed and continued. “You’re going to have to make the next move.”
He turned to the door, glancing back once.
“Please don’t… wait.”
Van watched the door close behind him, his words echoing in his ears…
Well. That was kind of fun. *grin*
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no subject
Date: 2008-08-09 11:11 am (UTC)Van's POV was perfect. I loved how he kept queening out and driving himself crazy with his thoughts. Lol, I could definitely imagine that happening.
And the photoshoot sounded so awesome; I'd really wish there'd be one like that :P
The thought of Jake not being on the show for six months though was kind of sad *prays to the soap gods that Jake will be there forever* But apart from that, I adored the fic. Brilliant!
Hmm, there should be a sequel with sex and schmoop though ;-)
*adds to memories*
*kisses*
no subject
Date: 2008-08-09 07:59 pm (UTC)YAY! You liked it! So so glad. Van queening out is very possible I think. *lol*
Jake stays FOREVER!!!!
More...um...I'll try lol.
*muah*